NSFW – Fatback Media

Nothing like a good catfight to get the day started off right. Except it’s closing time and there really wasn’t a catfight to speak of. That’s why I have a picture of Diora Baird. Non sequitur to follow non sequitur. There is order in chaos and entropy follows distinct patterns. I think I can see the future baby!

• Kim Kardashian has a giant rack..oh and she does some stuff. (Bastardly)
• Renee Zellweger misses the golden ratio by the value of Plank’s constant. (Yeeeah)
• Ricky Schroeder will be on this season of 24. He and Jack Bauer will ride that little train through his living room and get into adventures! (Socialite’s Life)
• Britney wears panties this week. Jesus showed me the way. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Gwyneth Paltrow foams more clotted cream. Those Brits and their rich history. Sigh. (Bumpshack)
• Uma Thurman is 6 foot tall and full o’ muscles. (Smart)
• Van Wilder – Part crap: eruditely, disparately, twice-reviewed by Dustin Rowles. (Pajiba)
• Lindsay Lohan: Cherokee Indian. All ends in tears my friends. (ICYDK)
• Witness the mastery of the Michelangelo of MS Paint (College Humor)

While I figure out the rest of life’s answers feel free to browse more of Diora Baird Naked. I run a tight ship here folks.

Jambalaya! Hang on to your bootstraps; it’s time again for FB&C Sexy Southern Girl of the Week (FBCSSGW). This is Cameron Richardson and she’s a gin-u-wine lass from the bayous of Looziana. She’s also fucking hot. I ran across her when I was searching for my ‘Cajun Queens’ photo spread I shot last winter and according to the infinitely knowledgeable IMDB, she’s an actress who’s been in movies no one gives a shit about except if there were nude scenes. She was also was named #52 on Maxim’s Hot 100 of 2005 list which puts her on this girl’s list automatically. I was ranked #3 on the national list of women who show the goods for two vodka crans, only to be beat out by two biker skanks with money enough to pay off the judges. Fucking politics. Oh, and I’ve taken first place at the Harley Davidson Biker Babe Bash three years running. Eat your heart out, fellas.
Here’s some NSFW photos of Cameron.

That’s a lie. There is nothing better than Sophia Bush posing on a southern river in a white cotton dress-at once, the angelic, unspoiled bayou princess and deliberate diabolic temptress. Angels lament in jealous furies because her cuteness is absolute, tyrannical and knows no bounds. Her cuteness grows and it will destroy you. I’m not obsessed with her, though. My therapist prefers the term psychopathically dangerous infatuation. Whatever.

Feel free to check these hot links while I cut the heart out of these Sophia Bush pictures and paste them them to my collage with my face in the hole. Get it? Yeah well, the so called doctor didn’t either.

• Sophia Bush not mentioned on The Office Thursday on GMMR. Fo’ Sho. (GMMR)
• Emmanuelle Chriqui giving Sophia Bush a run for her cute ass money. (Bastardly)
• Sophia Bush on the cover of the new Maxim. See where this is going? (Bumpshack)
• Bobcat Goldthwait gets in trouble for bestiality not involving Sophia Bush. (Yeeeah!)
• Red Blooded American vagina, but it’s not Sophia Bush’s though. Although, I’m sure hers is. Patriotic, that is. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Jessica Simpson got laid in Africa and divorced Nick Lachey. Not really. But take it from me, you can never go back. Unless it’s with Sophia Bush.(Smart)
• Grey’s anatomy McDreamy fight was started by a gay slur. Not a gay guy who’s had a stroke and tried to fight Patrick Dempsey, but a negative epithet about being gay that was used in the context of an argument by another cast member. No real reason to tell you that. But, you know, in case you were confused like me. Sophia Bush is not a racist. (Cele|bitchy)

Kristen Bell is in the new Maxim that hits the stands this week. There is really no reason to post these other than to save you the five dollars of having to buy the magazine or the 0.0003 calories it would take you to go to Maxim’s web site and view them yourself. That’s how much I love you. Plus, Veronica Mars is hot. And Spunky. I can’t figure why she wants to date those gay guys on the show. That’s probably best left to the experts like Givememyremote.com.