NSFW – Fatback Media

In news that can be filed under both the “Holy Shit” and “Of Course He Did” categories, Keith Richards was recently quoted as saying that he snorted his father’s ashes mixed with cocaine, adding that it, “…went down pretty well”. Richards explained:

“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared.” (source)

I’ve really got to hand it to “Keef”. At this point he could show up to a concert with a tar filled bloody syringe dangling from his forearm and I don’t think anyone would even bat an eye. Paris and Britney’s drug rumors send people into orbit but we celebrate this guy like he’s the goddamned crazy uncle that we all wish we’d had growing up that would sneak us Playboys and warm Coors Lights when no one was looking.

Maybe it’s our fault for being so stuck up and snobby when it comes to illegal drugs. Maybe if we all spent our entire lives mainlining Jack Daniel’s and chugging Marlboro Reds we’d all be multimillionaires. I’ll call it the “Human Cockroach Diet” and market it as the surefire way to laugh in Death’s face for the better part of a century. There’s no way this can fail. I think I’m on to something! Speaking of segueing into something non sequitur, here’s Marissa Miller to warm you northern folks up today.

-Shooter.

TMZ reports an employee of Wolfgang Puck catering services, who recently catered the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue party, was recently diagnosed with Hepatitis A and could have possibly spread it to the attendees. Scandalous!

An urgent warning has been issued by the Health Department, warning the star-studded crowd who attended the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue party on Valentine’s Day that they may have been exposed to acute hepatitis A. The list of possibly exposed guests: Beyonce Knowles, Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend Bar Rafaeli, and dozens of ridiculously hot bikini models.

The Los Angeles County Department of Public Health confirmed that an employee of Wolfgang Puck Catering was recently diagnosed with the disease, and has strongly urged anyone who attended the SI party, or any of the 13 other events catered by Puck between Feb. 1 – 20, to get an immune globulin shot by tomorrow to prevent illness. (source)

I don’t get it? The chance of a communicable disease, a raid by Colombian gangsters, incurable case of carpet burn and a paternity test nine months down the road are the marks of every Hollywood party I’ve ever been to. And Hep A, who doesn’t have that, anymore? It’s like the country club strain of Hep diseases. I think newborns in California are just inoculated with it when they get their MMR vaccinations. I’m pretty sure it’s a law.

Hep C. Now that’s some shit you can sink you’re teeth into: tattoos, drug use, high risk sexual practices, voodoo. Ain’t no party like a Hep C party ‘cuz a Hep C party don’t quit, bitches.

I’m kidding! Don’t do drugs. And have your pets spayed or neutered. EMcrest., OUT!

Ok. So if any of you were trying to fly anywhere in the Northeast yesterday you know that it just wasn’t happening. Between the snow, ice, rain and 72 vodka tonics, I had a long day getting down south. I made it to my destination in southeast coastal NC, but my bags are being held by Al Queda in a cave in Pakistan. Or maybe the Wilmington airport. Not sure yet. My laptop has literally 3% power so here goes….

• Meevee.com just launched today. So if you’re a TV bitch like me you can get your TV guides, episode info and dirt on your favorite stars. WWJBD? (MeeVee)
• Marisa Miller cameltoe in body paint. WTF? I mean OMFG. (DS)
• Marisa Miller in Sports Illustrated. again. OMFG. and Beyonce WTFFF? (Bastardly)
• Katie is a man, baby! And not Marisa Miller. (Yeeeah)
• Beyonce is megalomaniacal, baby. And still NOT Marisa Miller. (ICYDK)

Updates as soon as I rescue my diamond crusted carry-on. Holla.

The first day of Fall is literally hours away, so I wanted to take this time to reflect on the past summer and the times we’ve had together, dear internet. The fun we had walking on the beach. The stories you told (you’re such a kidder!) That time we got lost. Me holding your hair back while you puked. Good times. But mainly,I wanted to remember Marissa Miller in a bikini. Because that’s what summer is all about.

Marissa Miller in Stuff:

Marissa Miller causing angels to weep:

Images: Phun and Gmask