You know what I love about sports? Hot chicks in bikinis. Sports, like rock and roll, is just a way to get girls to dress in skimpy outfits and take their tops off when they get drunk. That’s why every year Sports Illustrated, the illustrious journal of the pantheon of sports throws everything out the window and publishes a whole issue of hot chicks in bikinis. Marisa Miller, who was obviously created by God to be his girlfriend finally made the cover this year. Here’s a little abut Marisa form the Wikipedia.

Marisa enjoys football, muscle cars, cooking, and boxing. From an early age she loved surfing, was a standout volleyball player on her high school team, and has long been a big sports fan in general. She’s said that if she weren’t a model she would be a sportscaster.

She also enjoys long walks on the beach and sweaty tiger sex with a certain sexy southern blogger that rhymes with hatback. REDACTED. UNVERIFIABLE.(Wikipedia)

Here’s more Marisa getting her sports on. Put down your XBox ’s and masturbate you fatty’s. These pics are from Si.com and there are plenty more over there to see. Also, more naked Marisa here.

Raw Vegas Video of Marisa Miller (Sorry can’t make the GD video plugin work this.)

You what I love more than hot models in bikinis? Naked models. That said, what’s up with this whole Blackwater USA situation and how did that affect the food for oil campaign a few years ago. I mean we have as many “private security” soldiers on the ground in Iraq as we do full-time military. Can they serve two masters? Or do they all serve one? Compelling questions deserve compelling answers. Like why is Marisa Miller not naked all the time?Links of you made it this far.

• Maxim hometown hottie self portraits (drunken stepfather)
• Abagail Clancy still British, still hot and half nude. (FHM)
• Rachel and Legolas? (Yeeeah)
• Alicia Keys looks hot, but I liked her better as a lesbian hooker hit (wo)man. (allie)
• Celebs are just like us! They love tacos too! (City rag)
• America Fererra keeps getting hotter.Fuck yeah! (Evil beet)
• Kim Cattrall decided to stop being a whore. (Gossip or Truth)
• Cute college girl of the week is from my alma mater. Go cocks! (college humor)
• Starts are just like us! They wreck motorcycles too! (Glitterati)
• DemiMoore is old as fuck. But I’d still hit it. (Seriously OMG)
• J-Lo is a shitty dresser. I bet she’s a great Ottoman. (Bumpshack)
• Abi Titmuss is hot and her name sounds dirty. (Bastardly)
• Um, Jordan showing her box again. (Jordan)
• Meg White sex tape in case you missed it. TOTALLY her dude. (Notorious)

Dude. Where the hell did summer go? It seems like just yesterday I was breaking out the white slacks, popping my collar and getting my 23 ft sloop out of dry dock to sail down to my parents house in Newport so I could discuss my new start-up with some buddies over beers and baked clams-beachside. No bigs. Now it’s already time to pull the kegs in from the beach, send the bitches home and get the beach house winterized, bro. The cool thing is that we didn’t have to bury anybody in the sand and have my dad take care of all that like last year. Score. Speaking of scores, here’s Marisa Miller half naked because I love summer and summer is for naked boobies.

Links if you made it this far:

• Cute College Girl O’ The Week: Heather from Monmouth. (College Humor)
• Lindsay Lohan’s dad visits her in rehab ( for a little slap and tickle?) (Yeeeah)
• Tyra Banks is fucking freeeeeak. (IBBB)
• Heather Grahm has a video, and well…she sure is pretty. (Evil Beet)
• Britney is opening the VMA’s, which apparantly still happen? (GoT)
• Hottest blogger online (Allie)
• Vanessa Hudgens nude! Well probably not, but a boy can dream. (Glitterati)
• Britney Poo. (Seriously OMG)
• Jessica Simpson’s nipples: still awesome. (DS)
• Davis Schwimmer is banging Thandie Newton. PIVOT! (Bastardly)
• Kate Walsh said some stuff..blah blah…I’m just looking at her rack. (ICYDK)
• Jenna Fischer separated from her husband. So leave us alone, we need sometime to heal. (BPBC)
• The Hilton’s have set the Paris pregancy project in motion (Bumpshack)

Space-time continuum. About. To. Explode.

There is an ancient prophecy that told of this event. It said that the hottest girls on the planet would someday be together and they would bring peace and celebrate the moment with an embrace. And then they would embrace me. And then I would watch while they embraced some more. And then we would video all of us together and…wait that might have been a dream.

Time to enter the wayback machine kids – way back to when Marisa Miller was doing more nudity. Besides the fact that I couldn’t send you through the weekend with the incredible hulk dog as the lead story, I was feeling a little nostalgic about a time in the not too distant past when tea was sweet, summer was hot and Marisa Miller was plenty nude. Good times.