NSFW – Fatback Media

Lindsay Lohan has entered rehab in Utah at an exclusive “lodge” that purports to give its guests all the comforts of home – like a jacuzzi, fireplace and stunning views – while they’re rehabilitating for the meager price tag of $30,000.00.

Lindsay Lohan has entered the Cirque Lodge drug and alcohol rehab in Sundance, Utah. According to sources within the facility, the 21-year-old star arrived this weekend to begin the intense rehabilitation program that is expected to last a minimum of 30 days.The center treats men and women over the age of 18. According to the Cirque Lodge Web site, upon check-in, a thorough mental and physical examination is completed.

The Lodge was named by Town & Country magazine to be one of the country’s top rehabs. For a price tag of $30,000 and up, the rehab offers privacy — with rooms for 16 residents at a time. Rooms boast spectacular views, Jacuzzi tubs and private fireplaces… (source)

I don’t think rehab means the same thing to celebrities as it does to regular drunks and addicts. Most people get a cot in a shared room, shitty food, worse coffee and touchy-feely meetings where everybody hugs at the end. Twenty eight days later you leave with a fresh new addiction to cigarettes and a crippling need to have other people to tell you that you’re ‘okay. If you’re a celebrity, you get a room with a view, gourmet meals, a jacuzzi , free access for your friends & family and the guy who brings you 8-balls stuffed inside a beanie baby. Lindsay in ELLE. (source)

Lindsay Lohan is a role model for young girls everywhere. She proves that honesty and good character are the ways to make it big. Either that, or by being a drunk lying whore. Apparently, a mere 36 hours before she got arrested in May for DUI, she sat down with Elle Magazine to tell them how resposible she really was.

“They’re looking for me, to like trip, so they can be like, ‘Oh Lindsay’s wasted and driving drunk.’ And that’s not it. I wouldn’t violate. … I’m much more responsible than that.”

The following night, on May 26, she was arrested for driving under the influence when her car crashed; cops found she had cocaine with her. Her second drunken driving/cocaine bust came the morning of July 24 after a high-speed chase in Santa Monica, Calif. The September issue of Elle hits newsstands Tuesday. (source)

Amazing. Inspirational! I think she was telling the cops this the next night when they were cuffing her, impounding her car and putting her cocaine in the evidence bag.

Megan Fox, smoking hot southern actress, wants to make it clear that she is not Lindsay Lohan. The two young starlets starred together in the Epic Smash Hit Herbie:Fully Loaded. Megan says that although they worked together they neither hung out or were friends.

Megan, 21, said: “Oh my God! People think we’re alike?! Ugh! Oh my gosh! Lindsay and I were never friends when we starred together. I mean, we were two 16-year-old girls, it’s rare for them to get along, and we didn’t.” (source)

Some of you may not have seen the movie Herbie: Fully Loaded because I think it went to video like it had Mario Van Peebles in it.I don’t even think they play it on Nickleodeon. Partly because Lindsay is quickly becoming persona non grata with the Hollywood set and partly because it sucked – even for little kids. And kids are known to be really stupid. True story. Ask a random kid in the park why the Balkans fell apart after the Industrial Revolution. Guaranteed – you get tears. Idiots. Here’s Megan Fox, all grow’d up for the pervs.

Lindsay Lohan, the completely mentally stable and totally brilliant actress of such Oscar worthy gems as Herbie: Fully Loaded, Freaky Friday and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, recently expounded -albeit modestly- on her own acting skills as well as the acting prowess of several of her contemporaries. Actually she was wasted. And here’s how it went:

“The higher Lindsay got, the more arrogant and mean she became,” said a former party pal of the 21-year-old star. “She ranted and raved about her talent, claiming: ‘I’m the greatest actress in the world! No one’s even close to me right now!’

“And then she proceeded to viciously slam a slew of young actresses, who she considered to be her competition.”

Here’s what she said about her fellow actresses:

Scarlett Johansson is “ugly, fat and has no talent.”

Jessica Simpson “can’t sing and is dumb as (bleep).”

Sienna Miller is a “no-talent crackhead.”

Keira Knightley is “a flat, shallow, cardboard cutout of an actress.”

Jessica Biel is a “phony, scheming, joke of an actress.”(source)

I don’t know about you, but I think she’s right. She could be the greatest actor of our generation. I mean who didn’t cry n Herbie Fully Loaded when Lindsay as the trouble teen Maggie delivered this quip?

“It wasn’t me, it was Herbie.” (IMDB)

It was Herbie. It was Herbie,Lindsay. Herbie the black guy. Keep your chin up kid. As long as you stay true to your craft, you’ll always have a place in the hearts of Americans. Wait. That means having a huge rack right?