NSFW – Fatback Media

I’m what you call a man of action. So that’s why I put the nude picture of Lindsay Lohan with the full-on tits first. Yeah, you could go to another site and click thumbnails till you get to the money shot, but not here, baby. We put the tits right up front and center. Apparently, this is a recreation of a Marylin Monroe drunken sex fest photoshoot from back when the Russians were kicking our ass in the space race. Marylin Monroe was hot, country and slutty, so I think she would have liked it here.

In 1962, photographer Bert Stern shot a series of photos of Marilyn Monroe that have collectively come to be known as “The Last Sitting.” Taken during several boozy sessions at the Hotel Bel-Air, the photographs are arguably the most famous images ever captured of America’s most famous actress: Monroe, sleepy-eyed and naked, sips from a Champagne glass, enacts a fan dance of sorts with various diaphanous scarves, romps with erotic playfulness on a bed of white linens. Six weeks after she had posed, Monroe was found dead of an apparent barbiturate overdose. (source)

I could try to draw some conclusions here like: Is this Lindsay’s way of telling us that she identifies with the troubled and tragically sexy Marilyn Monroe in more ways than one? Or is this nothing more than the ultimate act of hubris by a spoiled former child actor who thinks the world revolves around her? Compelling points, to be sure, but what really stands out here are the naked tits. Tits!

Lindsay Lohan may be crossing the line from burned out trampy singer/actress/jobless person(?) into a new kind of awesome with news that she may be a lesbian. Or at least she may be getting it on with a girl. Which I fully support.

Last week, Lohan attended a holiday and housewarming party at the Los Angeles home of “Power Lesbian” Jeanette Longoria with Semel, the daughter of Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel, one partygoer told Page Six.

The spy at the sapphic soiree also overheard the duo refer to themselves as roommates, and one Hollywood insider claimed they’ve been living together in a house in LA for about a month.

“Lindsay came with Courtenay to the party around midnight and they stayed for an hour,” said our spywitness. “The girls held hands and were with each other the whole time.” The tipster added, “Every time I see Lindsay, there’s Courtenay. They are always together.” (source)

I don’t know what a ‘power lesbian’ is, but it sounded fucking awesome. My impression of what that was, was something along the lines of a hot chick who literally compels other hot chicks to have sex with her because of her raw sexual power. Then I realized that this is the power lesbian. So it turns out it that power lesbian is more like a burly chick that physically compels other chicks to have sex with her by using her huge claw like hands to choke the life out them.

Lindsay shopping. Prolly for lesbian stuff. What am I, a psychologist?

Fresh out of rehab, Lindsay Lohan began her mandatory community service stemming from her DUI conviction at an LA blood donation center on Monday.

The ‘Mean Girls’ star arrived at an American Red Cross blood services facility, located in an LA suburb, at noon and was greeted by staff in the parking lot.

She left at 7pm carrying a book entitled ‘BLOOD’ under one arm. (source)

Um, hello. Nosferatu, much? I guess instead of using methadone and suboxone they’re using the dark powers of Anne Rice to help people kick drugs these days. Honestly, it’s trading one addiction for another and perpetuating the co-dependent cycle. At least that’s what my book ‘How to Serve Man’ says. True story.

If you thought that Dina Lohan couldn’t get any more cloying, manipulative and exploitative of her daughters, well you thought wrong, sukka. Get ready for reality TV that’s so real that the realness will rub you raw in all the right places and leaving you crying in the shower like you dropped the soap in reality prison. Dina Lohan begins shooting her reality show on E! with her daughter Ali on Oct 30th in New York. And you know it’s serious because the ‘E’ channel has a fucking exclamation point, bitch.

“There are so many misconceptions about me and my family,” says Dina. “I’m setting the record straight.”“It’s about empowering women to be successful single mothers. About being in the limelight without compromising motherhood. It’s about what I do, how you can be successful, and be a single mom and fulfilling your kids’ dreams. Working is my sole source of income.”(source)

Fuck yeah. That’s as real as it gets people. How many other single mom’s have struggled to squander the eight figure income of one emotionally tortured daughter while feverishly plotting ways to exploit the other daughter in exciting [and real!] new ways? I know, right! This is amazing tv! Who needs writers when you have: reality?