NSFW – Fatback Media

Hot or not: Elizabeth Banks? Go vote in a Bastardly way. (The Bastardly)

Ice T’s wife Coco is a classy lady. Except by classy lady I mean dirty whore. (INO)

Wondering which show you need to DVR tonight? Have no fear GMMR is on it like a bad case of updawg. Wait, redact that. Whatever. (GMMR)

Kristin Cavallari is drunk. (Bricks and Stones)

Crank reviewed by the always erudite Dustin over at Pajiba. Apparently, the film has more misogyny and objectification of females than I even pretend to have on this site. Sweet. Drive your pick-ups to the movie-plex. Bitches will be showing their boobies! (I do hate my mom though, but that’s another story.) (Pajiba)

(ed. note: In case you were wondering that picture above is from the movie Crank. I was trying to be ironic, bitches)

Kristin Cavallari continues to not have any skill whatsoever except for being outrageously hot. Below are some excerpt interview passages from the ultra-intelligent Blender Magazine.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
Oh, it’s just me.

When’s the first time you realized you were hot?
Same as any other girl, when we develop boobs and stuff. But I don’t consider myself hot — I still feel like the same big dork I’ve always been.

What’s the downside of being so darn hot?
Since so many people know who I am and know my business, I can’t get away with things I’d normally be able to. And I’m not 21, so going out can be a big issue. Then again, being hot can actually help with that problem, so it is good and bad.

What advice do you have for those who aspired to hotness?
Be yourself, don’t care what other people think, have a lot of confidence. Or at least make it look like you have a lot of confidence. Pretend if you need to.

Paris Hilton: hot or not?
Hot.

Cocaine?
Not.

MTV’s The Hills?
Not.

Hot Food?
Tuna tartar… although not literally.

Hot sexual position?
Depends on my mood, but girl-on-top… uh, is my dad gonna read this?

Hot schwag you bagged for free?
A $50,000 diamond ring from Sol Rafael—they just gave it to me, and no, I’m not engaged.

Hot celebrity baby?
Gwen Stefani’s — I love her.

Hot prescription drug?
Adderall, although that’s been around a while. I’m not saying I take it or anything.

What’s your fallback plan for when you inevitably lose your hotness?
I hope that I’ll be hot for a long time so I can make a lot of money and I can retire early and just travel. So, hopefully that will happen. (full interview)

Always nice to see that today’s ultra-privileged youth aren’t losing their unbelievable sense of entitlement. It’s really an inspiration to us all to see an apple cheeked rich girl who has never wanted for anything in her life or ever shed a tear of disappointment, talk about retiring at the ripe old age of 30 to “just travel”. I usually tell that story to my “kids” to make them appreciate what they have. They get it. They just cry through the smiles and keep sowing the sneakers like good little workers.

Apparently, Kristin Cavallari is back together with her boyfriend Brody Jenner and they have been speaking out about their break up and all the rumored hook-ups that they had while on a break.

“It’s hard reading about it, your ex-boyfriend hanging out or hooking up with these other girls, it’s just like a stab in the back,” says Kristin adding,”I read that I was dating Joaquin Phoenix and I’ve never even met him.”

Jenner says he’s the one who made the first move towards reconciliation while Cavallari was shooting a film in Oklahoma. “While she was on set I was thinking about her… I hadn’t talked to her, we ended on very sour terms, I just kind of got over it, sucked it all up and texted her ‘I love you’ … her text message back was ‘beep you!’” (source)

I never saw the show these to were on, so I have no idea why either of them are famous. I can only assume that the show consisted of beautiful teens having typical teen angst (Hummer or Range Rover?) and partying in bikinis all the time then calling their daddies to bail them out of a murder or a rape every now and again. Those silly kids!

Well the man, who is actually a woman, has been keeping a brotha down this week between all the work and the sexual harassment (I’m hot). So check out these top stories while I get caught up.

Last chance to check out the 2006 World Cup Babes! (The Bastardly)

TV Diva GMMR has the Emmy nominations. I see my pilot didn’t make it, again. (GMMR)

Sony are some Japanese racist mother fuckers. I think. Probably. Shit. I can’t tell.(YBF)

Lil Kim is free. So expect to see her giant boobies falling out of trashy clothing any day now. (Subvert Society)

Lindsay Lohan in Euro GQ looking hot and dirty. And hot. But Dirty. (Guilty Obsession)

Suri Cruise (Orange Pride!) has yet to be seen. Well, that’s because she is in the underground alien ship having her bodily fluids replaced by Dianectics. (INO)

Hilary Swank is a dirty tattle tale. Rehab is for quitters. (Tabloid Whore)

Ed. Note: There’s really no related reason to have that picture of Kristin Cavallari up there but her ass is so perfect that it made me cry a little. I gotta go.