I have two things to say about these pictures of Kristin Cavallari and it is exactly this:

1. God
2. Damn

This is Kristin Cavallari who is famous because she is a spoiled rich bitch. Why is it that all the snotty, privileged rich kids who never appreciate anything are always so hot? Because God hates poor people, that’s why. True story. Don’t believe me? Take drive through St. Bernard Parish in Louisiana. Zing! God rulez.

Links for the rich folks:

• Pocketshots? Shotpaks? All I see are tits and drunk chicks. (Crave)
• Leslie is hot and she’s in college. So she’s the the Cute College girl of the week (CH)
• Zuda launches from DC Comics (Gutterbleed)
• Paris Hilton’s new movie sucks. Wait? She’s in a movie? (Yeeeah)
• Halle Berry has huge mommy tits (DS)
• Christa Campbell and her huge rack at the Spike Scream awards (Bastardly)

How the hell did I let Christmas sneak up on me like this? I need to get out do some shopping for all the supermodels in my life. Here are some sexy Monday links to get you in the mood for some internet shopping on-the-job. You’re such a little sneaker.

• Maria Menounos zips her way into the Spike TV Video Game Awards (Bastardly)
• Kristin Cavallari signs autographs at Kohl’s. Huh? (Bricks and Stones)
• Christmas boobies! (College Humor)
• Brad and Angelina have a House Party Frank LLoyd Wright style, yo! (Yeeeah)
• Jesus has the best links ever. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Prince is going to play the Superbowl Halftime show. (Glitterati)
• Tyra Banks avoids the nip slip. (Subvert Society)
• Kristin Bell wants you to save the boobies. (Celebutaint)

Here are a few older images of Michell Monaghan at the Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Premier.

So the site was down for over an hour today. Sorry if you couldn’t get through. I got it all worked out with GoDaddy and their hotass customer service reps. While I get the server back up to blinding speed see what going on around ‘nets.

College according to National Lampoon. (I still think PCU trumps them all. “We’re not gonna protest”) (College Humor)

Kristin Cavallari at the opening of Arena nightclub. Girlfriend still doesn’t have a job. Lazy. (The Bastardly)

Jesus gets another hot MySpace girl to send him bikini pics. Bless us everyone. (Drunken Stepfather)

Ivanka Trump and Lance Armstrong are banging. How long till Trump throws a bromm in spokes? (Gossip or Truth)

The Matthew’s separately (lovingly?) sporting the sack-grabber bike shorts while running. My boys need some wiggle room, ladies. I run commando. (BumpShack)

Paris Hilton’s crotch in full view again. I think it’s about time for her to get some syndications rights on that thing. (INO)

Alanis Morisette and Ryan Reynolds blah blah blah. I don’t give a shit. Click the link if you do. (Bricks and Stones)

Kate Winslet broke her has while filming a sex scene for a movie. Method acting rulez. Strasberg in the hizzle! (Yeeeah!)

Rachel Bilson somehow makes the Columbian drug-lord-Pocohontas look work. (Smart)

Absolutely no reason for Stacy Keibler, except she hasn’t been around in while…

So the site has been pretty quiet lately, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been working my ass off for you. I went through hell to get the juicy tidbits that I’ll be revealing this week. I can’t really say much about how, or what just yet, but the trip was like most of my relationships: it started off in a hot place, got awkward and ended in blood and tears (mostly my own). Here are the top stories from the weekend.

Kristin Cavallari has a MySpace Account. Her profile is set to private but I really want her to be my online friend. OMG. Right? ROFL!

Faceoff between Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel. Who works out the best in black tights. My money is on Jessica Biel because I fear her powerful muscles.(The Bastardly)

Veronica Mars Season 3 Synopsis from the ultra famous KS at GMMR. (GMMR)

Lindsay Lohan tells her mom to go to hell at a restaurant. Her mom asked to either start wearing panties or draw a face down there with a magic marker or something because people are getting freaked out. (Glitterati)

Tom Cruise just happened to go to a Redskins game and the owner of the Redskins just happened to give him 3 million dollars. Coincidence? (INO)

Hot or not: Elizabeth Banks? Go vote in a Bastardly way. (The Bastardly)

Ice T’s wife Coco is a classy lady. Except by classy lady I mean dirty whore. (INO)

Wondering which show you need to DVR tonight? Have no fear GMMR is on it like a bad case of updawg. Wait, redact that. Whatever. (GMMR)

Kristin Cavallari is drunk. (Bricks and Stones)

Crank reviewed by the always erudite Dustin over at Pajiba. Apparently, the film has more misogyny and objectification of females than I even pretend to have on this site. Sweet. Drive your pick-ups to the movie-plex. Bitches will be showing their boobies! (I do hate my mom though, but that’s another story.) (Pajiba)

(ed. note: In case you were wondering that picture above is from the movie Crank. I was trying to be ironic, bitches)