Haggis, anyone?

I think my stalker worthy obsession with Kelly Brook is well known, and I can only think of one person who may have me beat  on this.  This is Kelly Brook, nude in an *ahem* Men’s Magazine. See, that’s sarcasm because this magazine is known for photoshopping the soul right out of their models. And by soul I mean cellulite and ass pimples. My Kelly doesn’t have those, so I’m wondering why the photoshoppers did all that work on her face. Jesus, it’s not like she’s 31 or something.

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Kelly Brook bold and braless at British Awards show from way back when…Who is she anyway?Good for her I guess as this is a good way to get attention, huh?  Does it really matter who she is?She is hot enough to do it so I say, go girl!! Show ‘em if you got ‘em.

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Kelly Brook is naked so much I wouldn’t recognize her on the street if she had clothes on. Which in my book makes her a hero. She’s like Jesus, except you want to bang her, not watch her walk on water. And instead of turning water to wine she turns penises to wood. Score! Religious humor wins!

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Apropos the fact that Google has not only shit in my face with a penalty that has lasted almost a full year, but now they have pulled my Adsense ads because of “adult content” I am posting titties and ass every day until the end of fucking time. Fuck you, Google. Fuck you. Hard and slow with glass and sand on a festering donkey dick, right up in your ass. I can say this out loud because they can’t do a god damn thing about it that they haven’t already done. Thanks for taking my revenue away you soul crushing elitist cock suckers. Now…the tits. Here’s Kelly Brook nude. Again. Whores!

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Kelly Brook is one of those UK girls with big tits who are famous for having big tits and getting naked, but the problem is that Kelly Brook is now so famous in the UK, that she really doesn’t have to get naked anymore. She just goes around to places selling her crappy line of perfume and bikinis. Or her lingerie like she did at a New Look Store yesterday. It really becomes a problem when Brook can’t even be bothered to model any of it and hires models. At least I think they’re models. The one on the far right is kinda hot, but I’m almost positive the one in red was born a man. And I’m not sure the tall one is even human. I don’t know what she did after the show but there’s a good chance that her to do list may have include “terrorize villagers.”

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