NSFW - Fatback Media

Kelly Brook is naked so much I wouldn’t recognize her on the street if she had clothes on. Which in my book makes her a hero. She’s like Jesus, except you want to bang her, not watch her walk on water. And instead of turning water to wine she turns penises to wood. Score! Religious humor wins!

Apropos the fact that Google has not only shit in my face with a penalty that has lasted almost a full year, but now they have pulled my Adsense ads because of “adult content” I am posting titties and ass every day until the end of fucking time. Fuck you, Google. Fuck you. Hard and slow with glass and sand on a festering donkey dick, right up in your ass. I can say this out loud because they can’t do a god damn thing about it that they haven’t already done. Thanks for taking my revenue away you soul crushing elitist cock suckers. Now…the tits. Here’s Kelly Brook nude. Again. Whores!

Kelly Brook is one of those UK girls with big tits who are famous for having big tits and getting naked, but the problem is that Kelly Brook is now so famous in the UK, that she really doesn’t have to get naked anymore. She just goes around to places selling her crappy line of perfume and bikinis. Or her lingerie like she did at a New Look Store yesterday. It really becomes a problem when Brook can’t even be bothered to model any of it and hires models. At least I think they’re models. The one on the far right is kinda hot, but I’m almost positive the one in red was born a man. And I’m not sure the tall one is even human. I don’t know what she did after the show but there’s a good chance that her to do list may have include “terrorize villagers.”

Kelly Brook in a bikini is as good an excuse as any to post some daily links. It’s summer. She’s hot. You’re statistically speaking, probably not. So enjoy the British bikini badonkadonk and shut the hell up. At least you can get a break from Lindsay Lohan’s coke whoring, Britney Spears bad mom-ing, and Paris Hilton’s impending yard time to look at some quality 100% natural born curves. What I think is so hot about Kelly Brook is how she doesn’t have a cheetoe stains, a bloody coke nose or a science project crawling out her crotch. I’m picky that way.

• Jessica Biel takes out the trash hotter than you. (Jordan)
• Elisha Cuthbert has nice feet. For all you foot pervs (Glunp)
• Former Miss Universe is a tramp. Well, yeah. (Bumpshack)
• Creepiest child actors who grew up to not be hot. (City rag)
• Danielle Lloyd in a bikini. (Celebrity Hubris)
• Lindsay Lohan’s dad calls the kettle black and says she uses OxyContin (EvilBeet)
• Christina Aguilera and monkeyboy. (Bastardly)
• Jesus is the best blogger ever. And my co-pilot. (DS)
• Jessica Alba needs to STFU. In a sexy way of course. (D-Listed)
• Something about Paris Hilton being a loser whore. (Glitterati)
• Mandatory college girl boobies. I like your sister’s. (CH)
• Reggie Bush is banging Kim Kardashian. (DJM)
• Hottie Mimi from Workout is interviewed by the equally hot Pipi. (Pipi Long)

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