NSFW – Fatback Media

In a statement released by Clyde Pickler, he told reporters that he doesn’t want to take credit for Kellie Pickler’s success. People had this:

American Idol castoff Kellie Pickler’s father was sprung from Florida State Prison on Monday after serving more than three years for stabbing a fellow resident of a trailer park in 2003.

Surrounded by reporters, Clyde “Bo” Pickler Jr., 41, said: “Being in the position I’ve been in, I can’t take any credit for what Kellie’s done. She’s accomplished a lot in her 19 years of life, and I’m extremely proud of her – I’m going to try and patch up a few burned bridges.” (story and image)

My dad told my mom that “he didn’t want to take credit for me”, too, except he did it a month before the day I was born. My mom told my daddy was Jesus until I was twelve years old. I thought I was Hispanic until high school. Turns out, I’m Native American. Go Braves.
I’m sure “Bo” Pickler will be nothing but noble in his reconciliation with his daughter. I mean, what better way to show that you’re a down to earth dad just trying to have a normal relationship with your estranged (and newly famous) daughter than to call a press conference with your attorney the day you get out of jail to reach out? When asked about how she felt about her dad getting out of prison, Kellie had this to say:

“I’m always the last to find out,” she told the Post. “I don’t know when I’m going to see him … It’s been so long – I mean, where do you even begin?”

Well if it’s anything like the reconciliation I had with my dad, it’ll start with a couple a drinks down at the local bar and end with her waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a freshly sutured wound on her abdomen. He did leave a nice card, though. Not really.

In honor of Kellie Pickler’s dad, Clyde Pickler busting out of being set free from prison today, I’d like to launch a new feature for this site: Where in the World is Kellie Pickler? In the weeks to come we will present Kellie having fun and frolicking in a variety of situations to the amusement of all. First we’ll show you where she is, then as we progress, we’ll make it a little harder. We’ll give you clues and you’ll have to find her. We’ll have winners and prizes and shit so, it’ll be worth it to kill your day on an internet adventure. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. You might just see some boobies. Stay tuned!

UPDATE!

Kellie Pickler Killed David Palmer! What would Jack Bauer do? (WWJBD?)

Well another country-come-to-town girl with a southern twang is taking her IROC back up the dirt road to the trailer. Kellie Pickler is gone from IDOL. I guess she’ll be the next big star at the Cut Hut in Albermarle once she gets her beauty license. While I fry up some more okra and cornbread y’all check out these links. I rock in my IROC!

Melissa Joan Hart still has some junk in her trunk. I guess Clarissa can’t explain how to lose the baby weight. (The Bastardly)

Cindy Margolis used to be a kurva but a billion dollars in plastic surgery and 20 years later and she’s about to do Playboy. Meh, still a kurva… (IDLYITW)

Jessica Alba nip-slip. Well almost. Well, not really at all but there is kind of a see-thru thing going on, but honestly my head hurts from squinting. (Hollywood Tuna)

Charlie Sheen is sued by an obsessed woman. Maybe he called her a non-sensical racial slur? (TMZ)

Chris Evans pitches a trouser tent on the set of the Nanny Diaries for Scarlett Johansson. I pitched a tent just writing this post. But I’m naked except for the KFC wet-nap I have in my lap. Lemony! (Best Week Ever)

BJ Novak found time from his busy schedule of not being as famous as John Krasinski to be interviewed at GMMR. (GMMR)

Last night’s American Idol featured Katharine McPhee wearing this yellow dress and also featured 30 million viewers edging closer and closer to their tv screens as her titillating performance played out. I don’t remember the song but I do remember the part where a button came off the split of her dress giving us a view of the McPanties. I cried a little right there.

I rarely ever watch the American Idol show because I think it’s a farce and completely pre-planned but this year the producers got smart and added in a little something I like to call the boobie factor. Between the Idol Twins (and twins!) Kellie Pickler’s Prom Dress, and Katharine McPhee’s damn near Renaissance quality rack, there has been ample reason to watch this season. And those my friends, are reasons enough for me to watch. For scientific purposes of course. If you want a blow-by-blow recap of last nights horrible performances check my girl Kathie over at GMMR. If you want to see more of Katharine McPhee’s rack and a fuzzy shot of her thong, then read on.

Thanks to all you screencappers who sent me these images. Keep sending them!