NSFW – Fatback Media

Oh. I mean me, not them. American Idol was on last night and I stopped watching after 85 seconds because it was guy’s night. (Although one of those dudes could definitely make it at a tranny strip club with a 2 inch piece of duct tape) Point is, American Idol is not a singing contest; it’s a humiliation and degradation contest meant to amuse the American public and destroy young psyches. Which is cool by me, we need to weed out the chaff and the rabble. And we need more slutty girls to post pictures of their friends online out of vicious jealousy. Speaking chaff and rabble here are some shots of Antonella Barba and Kellie Pickler with her new breast implants to warm you up for Ladies night. I threw in one of Katharine McPhee, because, damn I miss her.

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Kellie Pickler appeared on American Idol last night sporting a new look to the amazement of everyone.

Hmm. What is it about Kellie that’s different? Is it her hair? No. Hrm. Oh, maybe she got her teeth whitened? No. Maybe a tan? Nah. She’s still kinda pasty. New nail polish? WHAT IS IT?

Pickler stopped by the ratings juggernaut to perform her new single in a dress that showed off two very large assets suspiciously absent from last year’s show.

Her transformation was so apparent, even Ryan Seacrest noticed. When she appeared on stage, he looked at her new figure, then asked her if there was anything she’d bought with her recent cash windfall. (Once the snickering died down, a giggling Pickler …replied “shoes.”) (source)

Ooooooh. The Bigasstitties. That’s it. How obtuse of me. I could probably do a side-by-side comparison with graphs and charts all CSI style, but nobody really cares about seeing a hick with small boobies now do they? Yeah they’re fake but this country was built on the premise that anyone, no matter how insignificant, can make their dreams come true if the they have a little moxie, a little faith, a little luck and a big ass rack of DD’s. Amen.

More Kellie and one of Antonella Barba, so I can pay rent this month. Totally related.

Yeah, well sorry about the link post but, it’ll have to do for a few hours while I figure out how hack the new server we’re on. Can’t really say much, but I think I figured out that we’re all really asleep. I’ll get back to you on that. Speaking of getting back. I heard from Emily and and she’s still at it. She said she was on vacation, but I think she started some kind of underground sexual fight club for FB&C. Lately, recently injured strangers are calling me sir on the street and giving me the good tables in restaurants.  I hope that I’m not really a chick who does battle with her foes at night. Where would I put my elephant like penis? Maybe that’s why my taint has duct tape burns. I gotta go. I think I need to have a little talk with “Miss Emily”.

• Alyson Hannigan multi-tasks. I can’t figure out if she’s cuter as Willow or Lily. Maybe if Lily was a witch? (Bastardly)
• Paris Hilton is no Bond girl. Beetlejuice girl? Maybe. (Yeeeah)
• Pamela Anderson on Jimmy Kimmel.  (Celebrity Smack)
• Katie Holmes spent 3K on lingerie. For whom, I wonder? (Subvert)
• Kellie Pickler was abused by her mommy. Yeah, well who wasn’t. We’ve all got scars sister. (I’m not obsessed)

Sweet. Two movie ref’s in one post. I rule. I know.

Kellie Pickler returned home this week to Albamarle NC driving a vintage 1968 Mustang according People Magazine’s website. She was greeted by thousands of fans plus a convicted felon: her daddy.

Pickler hadn’t seen her dad, Clyde “Bo” Pickler, in more than three years. He was just released after serving time in Florida State Prison for stabbing a fellow trailer park resident in 2003 and attempting to run down police who were in pursuit of him.

“Throughout my 19 years, I’ve had my ups and downs,” Pickler told the crowd as she shared the stage with her father, reports the Charlotte Observer. “I know a lot of people would think I’d have a lot of resentment toward this person, and I don’t. I feel blessed to have him back into my life.”

She added, “I’ve been prayerful when this person came back to Albemarle, he’d be given a second chance. We all make mistakes and we all learn from them.” To her father, she said, “I love you. And am so glad to have you back in my life.”

He said of Kellie, whom he hugged and lifted off the ground as his eyes welled up with tears: “It’s a God-sent blessing that she’s overcome what she has in her short life and all she’s accomplished, and I’m just extremely proud of what she’s done.” (source)

He went on to say how he would do his best to to not stab any more people in trailer parks, but if he did happen to stab someone he would do his best to make sure it wasn’t in a trailer park, maybe say, the mall or something, and he would try real hard to get away this time, because he wouldn’t want to see Kellie saddened again by his going back to prison.

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