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Holy shit. By the power of Grayskull, Sienna Miller has some heroic nipples. They’re like two street fighters making their way through the crowded alleys of Shanghai, amidst the din of street vendors, laundry on clotheslines, mopeds, rickshaws and ninjas, battling their way to triad palace headquarters where they’ll finish off the big boss after a chase across the rooftops. That or her shirt is pretty thin. Whatever. I like the ninja story.

Rail thin, pouty British actress Keira Knightly recently stated that she wishes she had a fuller figure like some other voluptuous actresses like Scarlett Johannson.

The Pirates of the Caribbean star says she guzzles half a bottle of wine a night and regularly wolfs down plates of pasta.

She told this month’s Elle magazine: “I’m not one of those people who’s going to jog five miles every morning.

“I’m trying to have bowls of pasta or whatever makes me happy.

“I haven’t been to the gym since January and I’m drinking about half a bottle of wine a night. Fuck it, you’ve got one life - live it.”

Keira admits she envies the curves of fellow actresses Scarlett [Johannson] and Kate [Winslet].

She said: “That kind of decadent flesh is absolutely beautiful. How sexy is that on a woman?”(source)

There’s a name for slobby person who sits around at night scarfing down food, getting drunk on red wine and fantasizing about Scarlett Johannson and Kate Winslet: Me. Honestly, I think Keira Knightly is white-hot, even though she looks a dude from from behind. Wait. I mean, she’s hot even though she’s got that deep voice, short hair cut and the chest of a 12 year old boy. Wait. Is she hot or am I a pedophile? Hold on a sec. Damn. Okay, I took a look at those shots of Scarlett Johannson’s rack and my penis confirmed that I’m still straight, even if Keira Knightly is man-sexy.