Every year we stop to give thanks for all our blessings and we have huge feasts with food and wine and spirits and every one is merry.. like the squirrels. I think the meaning of Thanksgiving has been lost in cacophony of commercialism and greed that we Americans have worked so hard to establish.

Thanksgiving isn’t about being thankful for what you have, it’s about being thankful for religious persecution by the British. If not for the religious intolerance of the Church of England (which is ironic, considering the Anglican church was founded on the very premise that the Catholic church doctrine was too rigid…BUT I DIGRESS) then the pilgrims wouldn’t have come to the new world and set up shop on the east coast and settled the first cities that would become America. Sure, they fled religious intolerance only to come here and slaughter thousands of indigenous people whose only crimes were poor shaving habits and not believing in the Lord JC, but that’s neither her nor there. The point is Keeley Hazell has huge tits. And she’s British, so in a way she invented Thanksgiving. True fact.

A whole gaggle of nude Keeley Hazel Pics are after the jump.

Links for the thankful.

• The rest of the Keeley Hazell nude black-and-whites from this set (F&C)
• Jesus has better links thank me (Drunkenstepfather)
• Thanksgiving memory from me. You will probably cry (F&C)
• How to break the internet (Crave)
• Red Hot Chili Peppers sue Showtime for Californication (Allie)
• Mary Kate Olsen hospitalized for anorexia something that is not anorexia (Yeeeah)
• Lindsay Lohans nipples courtesy of Flash photography (City Rag)
• Julia Roberts is kind of a dick (Tasteful Society)
• Fake nude cartoon boobies, but it’s Angelina Jolie. (Bump Shack)
• The little kid from heroes is a piano prodigy. But can he fly? No. No. (Glitterati)
• Marissa Miller is always a good link (Bastardly)

I’m pretty hungry most of the time, so I write about about food a lot. I’m also a horn dog so I write about boobies a lot too. Although I love them both, I’m not one of those dudes who likes to combine two awesome things because I think there will be a synergy between them and make the awesomeness even more awesomer. Those people are called pervs. I like food and I like sex, but never the twain shall meet. And don’t try to convince me otherwise, you Jeffrey Dahmer motherfucker.

Speaking of fucked up events it looks like Lindsay Lohan’s mother really fucked up the red carpet interviews for the premier of Georgia Rule (coming to a Blockbuster near you in 3 weeks). Apparently Jane Fonda was pissed and called Dina Lohan an overbearing whore and stabbed her in the neck with a pencil. That could’ve been a dream because I’m on Atkins and I think my ketones are all fucked up. I know that picture is old up there but I wanted to remind the world that I have Photoshop. Call me, eLance!

Links.

• Amanda Harrington and her rack hang out in a bikini. (DS)
• Angelina Jolie on a Japanese commercial that I think may qualify as porn. (Allie)
• Paris Hilton. Felon. Still breaking the rules like a rich, entitled brat. Fuck her. (Jordan)
• Jessica Stam shows a little ass crack. (Bastardly)
• There’s a girl from your school showing her boobies. (CH)
• Kelly Clarkson has some J in the GD T. (Yeeeah)
• Beyonce is scared of candy. Because candy is for fatties. True story. (INO)
• Keeley Hazell because…well, because. (Hollywood Tuna)
• Paris Hilton tries to reason with the governor of CA. “It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.” (DJM)

“I need money. I used to be a stick up kid…”

I hope all of you enjoyed Dead Presidents’ Day like I did. I spent a shit load of Benji’s (and brotha wasn’t even the prez) on booze and strippers and watched Swedish porn on my Five-O Plasma. What I didn’t do, was post shit all week. Just bullshit link posts like this one. Now I’m back in it to win it. I’m all caught up on Lost and 24 so I’m ready to hit the gossip circuit, bitches. I’m kinda tired so I’m going through my CD cases for residue. Enjoy the links. And Keeley Hazell because British chicks are usually hot, and I like the way she chews gum.

• Get your drink gadgets on, baby (Crave)
• Jesus talked to Tara Reid. Splash News are whores. (DS)
• Paris Hilton wants you to knock her the FUCK OUT. (Bastardly)
• Obligatory College Girl Boobies. (CH)
• I think Howard K Stern did it. Did what? Well, you decide. (Yeeeah)
• Pick your favorite Britney Hairstyle (INO)
• Brad and Angelina try and drum up some give-a-shit in New orleans. (Gossip or Truth)
• LonelyGirl15 is really a whore. Not really but that makes my Adsense checks better. (Glitterati)
• Bloggers speak out about Britney Spears shaving her head. (Bumpshack)
• Keely Brook is British and mostly naked. Cheerio! (FHM)
• Antonella Barba, American Idol hopeful, blowjob caps (IDLYITW)