NSFW – Fatback Media

I’m recovering from a much needed weekend of of debauchery so check out these top stories while I work out my alibi.

Brandon Davis is a fat, spoiled bastard and I would like to kick him in the scrotum. Oh, and he checked into rehab this week. For being a fat spoiled dumbass. (TMZ)

Katherine Heigl is engaged to Josh Kelly, a big goofy musician. And the curse continues… (GMMR)

Adam Brody of “The OC” is high which is my perfect chance to steal his cute little girlfriend Rachel Bilson. (I’m not obsessed)

Speaking of The OC and washed up has beens, Mischa Barton was at the Triggerstreet.com launch party looking pretty effing hot for a change. (Bricks and Stones)

Britney Spears, pregnant and in a bikini. CLICK THIS LINK AT YOUR OWN PERIL. If you’ll excuse me I have to gouge my eyes out with hot pokers now. (ICYDK) (ps. I love the new site Jocelyn!)

Joss Stone in a bikini. For the man who loves a woman to feel like a man. (Subvert Society)

At last, but certainly not least, The Bastardly Girls of the World Cup, Volume II. Meu Deus! (The Bastardly)

The results are in and it looks like Scarlett Johannson’s “girls” are the best rack in the world, followed by Jessica Simpson and Salma Hayek. The yearly reader poll conducted by In Touch Weekly was recently announced and here’s how the list shaped up.

1) Scarlett Johannson

2) Jessica Simpson

3) Salma Hayek

4) Halle Berry

5) Jessica Alba

6) Tyra Banks

7) Jennifer Love Hewitt

Rebecca Romijn

9) Lindsay Lohan

10) Brittany Murphy

(source)

Obviously, this is my favorite time of year. Honestly, in a breast contest there really are no losers, but there were a few that I would have put in the top ten that didn’t make it. Like Monica Belluci, Katherine Heigl, Katherine McPhee, Kate Winslet, Poppy Montgomery, Rachel Nichols and my Swedish Figure skater girlfriend (who has the nicest rack I’ve ever seen in person without having to pay).

Curvy beauty Katherine Heigl recently jokingly told a source that she is interested in making a sex tape to boost her career.

The curvy actress believes a raunchy home video would propel her to fame in the same way it did Paris Hilton, who unwittingly starred in sex tape ‘One Night in Paris’.

Katherine said: “I think maybe I should do a sex tape. Look what it did for Paris Hilton!”

The star, who was raised a Mormon, hasn’t always been so comfortable with her sexuality.

The 27-year-old claims she was such a well-behaved teenager she wouldn’t have dreamt of getting intimate with any of her boyfriends – and says she was a virgin until she was 22.

She told Britain’s FHM magazine: “I was a very good, pure girl when I was at high school.(source)

Katherine Heigl has quickly risen to the top of my A-List. Let’ see. Tall, blonde with a nice rack? Check. Ridiculously nice in person? Check. Willing to throw morality out the door and disavow her religion for raunchy filmed sex? Check. Funny name and possible foreign language? Check. Obviously she’s joking about making a tape, though. I mean, she’s joking right? In the event that she’s not I just want to throw it out there that I have a pretty sweet studio in my bedroom and my Swedish figure skater girlfriend and I could take turns working the camera. She just loves blondes. Skoal.
 

Share the naked celebrity goodness, y'all!

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Katherine Heigl is not a doctor, but she plays one in my mind. Naked.(The Bastardly)

Kara Monaco is the 2006 Playmate of the year. She’s hot but she banged Hugh Hefner which means she’s damaged goods. Hot girls with self esteem issues are easy! (Glitterati Gossip)

Tom Cruise and Puffy Puff Daddy P-Diddy Diddy (WTF ever) show what it looked like for Suri on the way out. (Best Week Ever)

Tori Spelling is getting married 2 weeks after her divorce was final. She is officially white trash. Keep her kids away from the lake.(D-Listed)

Jessica Simpson wants to smoke a little Blunt. James Blunt that is. And yes, it’s little. (Egotastic)

Veronica Mars is not getting cancelled from the new CW network. Well maybe. Probably not. What kind of half assed name is CW? I mean if you don’t want to be perceived as the “also-ran” flea market network then don’t have a name that sounds like the that 6′ 2″, 17 year old kid with the learning problem that used to kick my ass in the 5th grade. Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah Veronica Mars may be around for another season. Shocker. (GMMR)

Oh yeah. This sexy chick Victoria said that the new Armani spring 2006 line “Escape” was worth checking out and asked me to post this video. As a former Armani model I’ll have to agree. Look for my cameo in the video. I’m the sexy, non-gay guy. Marketing chicks are hot!

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