NSFW - Fatback Media

My sentiments exactly, Katherine Heigl! I’d be freaked out upon seeing this lot of ladies as well. Seriously what is up with the clones?!? They are like Robert Palmer’s b’yatches in that old “Addicted to Love” video, only these are blonde and cheery instead of somber and robotic. Still and all, that shit freaks me out.

But what really freaks me out is how much money Katherine Heigl’s movie character theorectically would have had to have spent as a bridesmaid to have been in 27 weddings. Weddings ain’t cheap. Even for the most heinous bridesmaid dress you can pay a good $250, and that’s on the low side. Then factor in throwing a bridal shower, buying a gift for that, buying a wedding gift, and buying clothes for the entire weekend of never-ending events. So, figure on $1,000. And yet the new film “27 Dresses” wants us to believe that their main character has been a bridesmaid in 27 weddings. Listen, if someone is insane enough to be okay with spending upwards of $27,000 to be in their friends’ weddings you don’t have to think too hard about why that person is always a bridesmaid and never a bride.

Anyway, some hot girlies showed up at Katherine Heigl’s big premier night . . . and some not-so-hot ones. You can judge who is who . . .

This is Elle Macpherson pulling off one of the classiest see-thrus I’ve seen in a while. She’s still smokin’ hot and yet she’s like, what, 75? Some people say it’s genes, some say it’s clean living, but I think we all know what’s going on here. Elle Macpherson is a vampire. I know what you’re thinking, “That’s just silly, man. There’s no such such thing as …wait…is that a nipple?” See? You’re already doomed.

• Military themed hotness, because I am god damn patriot. (Celebrity Hubris)
• Ocean’s 13 review with a lot of math. (Allie)
• Katherine Heigl is hot. Just wanted to link to her. (Evil Beet)
• Still looking for your sister’s boobies here (CH)
• Avril Lavigne inSeventeen Magazine is about as boring as it sounds. (DH)
• Some not famous chick with fake tits wants to be more famous than another not famous chick. (Jordan)
• Alessandra Ambrosio will burn you. (Bastardly)
• Someone else’s link post that I’m not in. (NSFW) (DS)
• Richie Sambora gives rehab…A BAD NAME. (Yeeeah)
• Sarah Michelle Geller is a vampire too. Or she tokes the bizz-ong. (Ninja dude)
• Screech is all busted up. (CM)
• Mariah Carey should look into the vampire thing. (Gabsmash)
• Jessica Alba won’t date black people. Okay, I made that up. I’m inflammatory. (Gossip Word)
• LeAnn Rimes is hot like wasabi in Shape Magazine. (HOTB)
• Violet Affleck is cute as a button (SeriouslyOMG)

Things are slow around here and by slow I mean our page loads are slow because of server issues. Sit tight while I piss on the spark plugs and add some 30 weight gear oil. That outta do it. Till then. Hey guess what? Jordin Sparks won American Idol. Wow. Never saw that coming. Nepotism rules. Anyway I didn’t watch. Well, I watched Blake and Doug E Fresh and that was wiggity-wiggity-AWESOME. Then I proceeded to watch LOST and become very, very confused. Flash forward? Who’s in the coffin? Why only Kate? Is Naomi evil? Charlie RIP? February is the next epsiode? WTFF? Anyway. Links.

• Katherine Heigl is engaged to a freaky looking singer. Snore. (Bastardly)
• Cheryl Crowe adopts a baby. Huh? (Pipi)
• Sharon Stone in a bikini. It’s like wanting to bang you’re grandma. Gross but you’d still do it for the cookies. (Glunp)
• Jordin Sparks is a giant who will eat Blake. (Yeeeah)
• Samaire Armstrong may be pregnant. By Jesus M. (DS)
• Veronica Mars got canceled. *sigh* Thanks CW, she was finally old enough for some frontal. (Pajiba)
• Paris gets jailhouse religion. Whore. (GoT)
• Britney Spears in her underwear. Hurray AdSense! (Jordan)
• Happy birthday Linday Lohan! You’re 21 and officially all washed up. Hollywood is a bitch. (DH)

More Jennifer Ellison for no reason. Except that reason.

Katharine McPhee, who seems to only show up at events lately and doesn’t seem to be doing anything musical, still has a perfect rack. And that makes her my American Idol. Katherine McPhee is also a fan of Sanjaya Malakar, apparently:

“First of all, I think Sanjaya is an absolute phenomenon. Every year, there’s something that makes the show even bigger than it was the year before. I’m on the Sanjaya train! I’m like, ‘Go Sanjaya!’ “(source)

This is Katharine at the 9th Annual Young Hollywood Awards show; which seems to be more of a PR vehicle than an actual awards show. Wait that’s ALL AWARD SHOWS. Case in point, Kat McPhee received the “Exciting New Vocalist” award from Randy Jackson and Katharine Heigl received the “Superstar of Tomorrow” award from TR Knight. That’s like the time my mom gave me the coveted “best son in the world” award when I was 10. I got half of a 7-11 turkey sandwich, a pack of Fun Dip and a Big Gulp cup with “Best Son in the World” written on it in eyeliner pencil. Oh, and bus ticket to back to our home town that turned out to be a used lotto ticket with “bus ticket home” written on it in eyeliner pencil. That’s the last time I ever saw her.

• Taryn Manning scares the shit out of me. But I’m still hot for her. Does that make me creepy? (Bastardly)
• Morgan Fairchild got some big ass titties. She’s my wife. Yeah, that’s the ticket. (DS)
• Kevin Bacon would to like to be six degrees up in Hayden’s Panetierre. ZING! I’m a writer! (Glunp)
• Jennifer “call me Love” Hewitt sells underwear. Not hers though. I have most of those anyway. (IBBB)
• Jessica Biel + booty = ‘Nuff said. Shazam. (Yeeeah)
• Sienna Miller is desperate to be sperminated. Dibs! (Holly Scoop)
• Suri Cruise prepares for world domination. Resistance is futile, mutha fucka. (D-Listed)
• Bjork. What the Fjork? (Pop Bytes)
• Phil Stacey is the new Sanjaya. Rule. (Bumpshack)

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Grey’s Anatomy beauty Katherine Heigl will be staying on the hit ABC show after all. This all stems from reports that she was complaining about her salary. Earlier this week a source told PEOPLE that Katherine was not happy with her compensation and felt like others were getting a better deal.

“Katie is disappointed and hurt that (producer) Touchstone doesn’t value her as much as her other costars, especially Sandra Oh and Isaiah Washington,” (source)

After negotiations ABC released this as a rebuttal to that report:

“Katherine is an integral part of Grey’s Anatomy and its success. Fortunately, we have a longterm contract to ensure she’ll be with the show for several years to come,” says the statement. “In recognition of her tremendous talent and value to the show, we recently approached Katherine with an offer to raise her compensation significantly above the terms of her current contract. We were surprised to see this gesture reported negatively in the press, and want to reassure fans that she will continue as Izzie Stevens.” (source)

Wow. When they put it that way, I guess they’re really saying the same thing. Because at first it sounded like:

Shut the fuck up or you’ll be doing bit parts on Crossing Jordan and Law & Order for the next 5 years, even if Ellen Pompeo starves to death . Roswell and a Steven Seagall fucking sequel gets you about Jack. Shit. SO. HELP. ME. GOD. Now go get me a god damn sandwich from craft services.

More “Katie” modeling at the car show because she’s just that good.

With all this talk of death and wasted youth and drugs, it really got me reminiscing about the good ole days. Back when it was cool to have a nice natural rack and healthy curves. And people didn’t get famous by just being rotten rich whores. They earned that shit on the casting couch like real American heroes. Click the links and then check out Tia Carrere and her Hawaiian Punch. Tia Carrere still has it going on because A) she’s old school and natural and B) she’s not dead. Kudos!

• Anna Nicole Tribute: In a bastardly way (Bastardly)
• Halle Berry is pregnant?NOT MINE! (Yeeeah)
• Lindsay Lohan buys Marilyn Momroe’s house. History repeating? (Allie ia Wired)
• Kim Kardashian sex tape clips. I really hate what her people did to the Bajorans. (DS)
• Rosie Blogs about Anna. I couldn’t be more bored with this. (INO)
• Katharine Heigl is hot. And says some words on Martha. (Smart)
• Smokin Aces Reviewed. (Ocean’s 11 + Reservoir Dogs ) - coherent paceing = Mildy Awesome. (Pajiba)
• Megan Fox in FHM. She’s a BMF. (FHM)
• Newest Kim Kardashian Video Snippet with Kardashian Vagina (DS)

Howdy, folks, Emily here, sending you a delightful photo of Grey’s Anatomy hottie Katherine Heigl with snake at the Tao Laz Vegas first anniversary.(Photo)

Women and snakes go together like vodka and a fist full of Xanax. Super hot women and snakes are a combination more lethal than Danny Smith’s drug overdose (RIP!) Seeing that snake reminds me of the time I caught Sister Edwards gathering chicken bones for her hoodoo spell to invoke on her husband. Allegedly, he was caught in the bathroom stall with his secretary in a decidedly un-Godly state. The preacher said in order to officially repent her sin of burning-hot resentment, she had to stand in the pulpit with a rattlesnake, praying for deliverance of the demons that lay at her doorstep. The Lord would forgive her if she faced the snake unharmed. After her cleansing, the congregation gathered in celebration in the dining hall for fried chicken and sweet potatoes while EMS administered the anti-venom. Ahhh, sweet memories. The south rulez!

Here are a couple of more pictures of Katherine and her goodly presence.

I normally don’t watch awards shows because they normally suck. However, this year was different. Oh, I still didn’t watch, I was hosting the 2006 Hottest Swedish Supermodel in My Boxer Shorts (HSSIMBS) contest in my penthouse suite at the Four Seasons, but if the opening montage above was any indication then I should have DVR’d it just for that. That and Katherine Heigl’s rack. Must See TV.

I’m recovering from a much needed weekend of of debauchery so check out these top stories while I work out my alibi.

Brandon Davis is a fat, spoiled bastard and I would like to kick him in the scrotum. Oh, and he checked into rehab this week. For being a fat spoiled dumbass. (TMZ)

Katherine Heigl is engaged to Josh Kelly, a big goofy musician. And the curse continues… (GMMR)

Adam Brody of “The OC” is high which is my perfect chance to steal his cute little girlfriend Rachel Bilson. (I’m not obsessed)

Speaking of The OC and washed up has beens, Mischa Barton was at the Triggerstreet.com launch party looking pretty effing hot for a change. (Bricks and Stones)

Britney Spears, pregnant and in a bikini. CLICK THIS LINK AT YOUR OWN PERIL. If you’ll excuse me I have to gouge my eyes out with hot pokers now. (ICYDK) (ps. I love the new site Jocelyn!)

Joss Stone in a bikini. For the man who loves a woman to feel like a man. (Subvert Society)

At last, but certainly not least, The Bastardly Girls of the World Cup, Volume II. Meu Deus! (The Bastardly)

The results are in and it looks like Scarlett Johannson’s “girls” are the best rack in the world, followed by Jessica Simpson and Salma Hayek. The yearly reader poll conducted by In Touch Weekly was recently announced and here’s how the list shaped up.

1) Scarlett Johannson

2) Jessica Simpson

3) Salma Hayek

4) Halle Berry

5) Jessica Alba

6) Tyra Banks

7) Jennifer Love Hewitt

Rebecca Romijn

9) Lindsay Lohan

10) Brittany Murphy

(source)

Obviously, this is my favorite time of year. Honestly, in a breast contest there really are no losers, but there were a few that I would have put in the top ten that didn’t make it. Like Monica Belluci, Katherine Heigl, Katherine McPhee, Kate Winslet, Poppy Montgomery, Rachel Nichols and my Swedish Figure skater girlfriend (who has the nicest rack I’ve ever seen in person without having to pay).