NSFW – Fatback Media

Oh. I mean me, not them. American Idol was on last night and I stopped watching after 85 seconds because it was guy’s night. (Although one of those dudes could definitely make it at a tranny strip club with a 2 inch piece of duct tape) Point is, American Idol is not a singing contest; it’s a humiliation and degradation contest meant to amuse the American public and destroy young psyches. Which is cool by me, we need to weed out the chaff and the rabble. And we need more slutty girls to post pictures of their friends online out of vicious jealousy. Speaking chaff and rabble here are some shots of Antonella Barba and Kellie Pickler with her new breast implants to warm you up for Ladies night. I threw in one of Katharine McPhee, because, damn I miss her.

Check out the poll and vote.

Kellie Pickler appeared on American Idol last night sporting a new look to the amazement of everyone.

Hmm. What is it about Kellie that’s different? Is it her hair? No. Hrm. Oh, maybe she got her teeth whitened? No. Maybe a tan? Nah. She’s still kinda pasty. New nail polish? WHAT IS IT?

Pickler stopped by the ratings juggernaut to perform her new single in a dress that showed off two very large assets suspiciously absent from last year’s show.

Her transformation was so apparent, even Ryan Seacrest noticed. When she appeared on stage, he looked at her new figure, then asked her if there was anything she’d bought with her recent cash windfall. (Once the snickering died down, a giggling Pickler …replied “shoes.”) (source)

Ooooooh. The Bigasstitties. That’s it. How obtuse of me. I could probably do a side-by-side comparison with graphs and charts all CSI style, but nobody really cares about seeing a hick with small boobies now do they? Yeah they’re fake but this country was built on the premise that anyone, no matter how insignificant, can make their dreams come true if the they have a little moxie, a little faith, a little luck and a big ass rack of DD’s. Amen.

More Kellie and one of Antonella Barba, so I can pay rent this month. Totally related.

American Idol will now officially have a nsfw beside it in cable guide. Do they even do a MySpace or Google search anymore to vet out contestants or are they actively recruiting from strip clubs and bail bondman offices?

I’m pretty fucking famous so I get a lot of unsolicited sexy emails, as you might imagine, but when I got this one this morning I was really impressed. Well, at first I thought it was Raven Riley trying to sex me up for links again, but it turns out it wasn’t. Vixen). Behold, American Idol hopeful, and my new favorite (Sorry Kat Mcphee!) Antonella Barba demonstrating her mad skillz. I’ll assume the person who sent me these (screen name annie_mouse) is either the dude whose pole is getting chomped or one of Antonella’s best friends from back home; just trying to give the hometown girl a little more publicity.

This kind of backstabbing, relentless pursuit of fame is what this country was built on god damn it. That, and forced slavery, genocide and imperialism, by jingo! ANYWAY. God bless America and God Bless American Idol. Oh, Be sure to Vote for the Worst, too.

The screen caps are way too NSFW NSFA (not safe for anywhere) so check em out after the jump with caution. Unless, you were planning on breaking up with your girlfriend today anyway. PS: (esp. attorneys) First, I love Law & Order and they should definitely use you as a technical consultant. Second. I have no idea if this is really her and there is some debate right now as to who it is. It looks like her to me, but then again white chicks all look the same to me.

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Is there really any other kind? Well, I guess there’s always Myrtle Beach girls? ANYWAY. American Idol is back, baby. And now it’s all nude, all the time. Katharine McPhee’s yellow dress malfunction pales in comparison to a Jersey girl in heat. The standout this season, and not for her voice, is bitchy Jersey Shore Rat Antonella Barba, who came out of the gate with semi nude pics of her friends on the beach and of herself taking a piss. And they said grace died with Anna Nicole Smith.

The interesting thing about all this is that Antonella’s BFF (who was eliminated early on in the Idol competition) is rumored to have released the photos herself. Best. Friend. Ever. I’ve met girls like that before and I’ve ususallu lost my wallet and my insurance benefits. She sounds the kind of girl that would blow her best friend’s boyfriend on the way to a funeral. Because really, without love, where would we be?

Steaming hot links and filth.

• Top 10 shortest celebrity hotties. (Uni brow)
• More Cloverfield monster details (Zed’s Dead)
• More Silver Surfer action.(Gutterbleed)
• Celebrity Photo hunt. Sexy style! (LG)
• Pamela Anderson is pregnant and her fetus has HEP C. (Yeeeah)
• Katherine Heigl should STFU and let the bloggers give the opinions around here. (Webster)
• Britney Spears gets fucked by photographer. Not in the good way. (Allie)
• People are bagging on Kim Catrall, but I would rip that shit to cougar pieces. (HolyCandy)
• Penelope Cruz’s lesbian incest kiss was a fake. But you can still rub one out to it. (City rag)
• Famous people are fucking gullible idiots. (Glitterati)
• Bar Rafaeli topless. Kinda. (Jordan)
• Stacey Kiebler is still alive. (Bastardly)
• Heidi Montag poses in a bikini. (DS)