NSFW – Fatback Media

Besides Sanjaya, who’s a total dreamboat, Haley Scarnato is the hottest Idol contestant left. (Well, there is that chick that kinda looks like chocolate Shrek. Reeeow. )Point is, Haley may have the nicest rack in American Idol history. Katharine Mcphee is a close second. It’s cool though. She’s used to second place. Zing!

China (THE COMMUNIST COUNTRY) is starting their own version of Idol that, from these reports, may just be spicier than General Gao’s Chicken with extra ginger. It’s going to be called Boys Happy Voice, which sounds like a play I was in at Catholic School. I don’t like to talk about it.

Tears, wild hair and unhealthy songs are banned when China’s latest version of “American Idol” goes on the air next month.

“No weirdness, no vulgarity, no low taste,” the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television said Friday in a notice to the producers of “Boys Happy Voice,” according to the official Xinhua News Agency.

The talent show, to be broadcast beginning May 1, is a sequel to the hugely popular TV contest “Super Girls Voice” in 2005, which drew more than 400 million viewers. The woman who won that contest became a popular singer in China….

“Happy Boys Voice” should include only “healthy and ethically inspiring” songs and avoid scenes of screaming fans or losing contestants in tears,” the regulator was quoted as saying. (source)

The officals were also quoted as saying that, instead of being forced to sing (while crying )when they are eliminated, ousted contestants will be crushed by Red Army Tanks to show their Happy Fun Patriotism and Conformity. More Haley proving that some animals are more equal than others…

Shazam. This is the best season of American Idol. EVER. Katharine McPhee’s yellow dress malfunction pales in comparison to Antonella Barba, and now Alaina Alexander nudes. Of course these are not fully nude or else Alaina’s MySpace profile would be taken down. You know what posting semi-nudes on MySpace gets you?

Hope.

I thought all the hope had left this world after The Departed and 300. But half naked pictures of wannabe singers on MySpace means there are some whole-naked pictures on somebody’s hard drive somewhere, just waiting to be released into the wilds of the internet. And naked pictures, my friends are like secrets and STD’s, they’re bound to come out sometime (usually after putting something where it shouldn’t have been). That doesn’t make sense at all. But what does make sense is how hot Alaina Alexander is. I asked her to be my MySpace friend and I invited her to a Gmail account. I have a good feeling about this one. If Axl Rose has taught me anything, it’s that the LA music scene is a veritable “jungle” and you have to do drugs and porn or “you gonna die”. You. Gonna. Die.

Just this one more. Promise. Then I’m done.

Idol castoff Antonella Barba is speaking out in interviews about her time at Idol and the infamous nude pictures. Although she was kicked off by America because she couldn’t sing, she’ll always be my funny Jersey valentine.

How hard was it to deal with all the controversy that was going on around you when you were on the show?
It was definitely difficult and it wasn’t how I intended things to go, but I tried to block it out as much as possible and stay focused on the competition. All that other stuff was completely irrelevant to the fact that I’m here to sing.

Visibility is important – does part of you feel that there’s no such thing as bad publicity?
Yes, it’s true that my name is more well-known because of it, but I’m not known for the things that I would like to be known for right now. I wanted to make a name for myself in singing. The pictures that have been released of me – the ones that actually are me – they were very personal and that is not how I intended to portray myself. I’d rather promote myself in a more classy way. And, again, that was private – that was not for the public eye.

Were you approached to pose in Playboy?
I heard about it but I was never approached.  (source)

She was also asked if she was dating anyone, to which she replied, “No, not really, I want to focus on my career”. I think we all know that she means she’s really into a certain sexy internet writer. I sent her a NSFW t-shirt and everything.

Not much going on today and I feel like Nick Nolte. Meaning I’m probably drunk and I can’t stop saying “Aw Hell” when someone asks me for something. (Yes that’s a P.O. rip, but it’s the truth). It’s way better than Danny Glover days when “I’m getting too old for this shi….” Digressing. Here are some pictures of Michelle Heaton in a bikini. She’s famous in Britain for something, which means nobody’s ever heard of her. But I’m sure there’s a stripper working the buffet lunch shift at some pub in E. London with tears of motherly pride welling in her tired mascara laden eyes. Or maybe it’s just the smoke. Wiki use at you’re own risk pedia has this:

A former student of Emmanuel College in Gateshead, Heaton began her singing career in the band Sirens with other girls from the north east of England. She rose to fame when she took part in the ITV reality television show Popstars. Heaton reached the final ten but was not selected for the five member band Hear’Say. Soon after, she and the other four unsuccessful applicants formed Liberty X, signing a record deal with Virgin Records. (source)

Popstars was the British inspiration for American Idol. This chick got 5th place. Fifth. Place. Normally, Americans can take anything British and make it ten times more effective and BODACIOUS. Cars? Way better on the right side and the hemi? COME ON. Democracy? Totally sexier in our 3 branched system. Plus. NO WIGS. Fish & Chips? Try it in Boston with Sam Adams, limey. Poverty and lack of healthcare for the poor? That’s shit’s pervasive here, man. BOOOYAH. Wait. ANYWAY.

It looks the Brit’s came in it to win it, got their game faces on and spent some quality time on the selection process for Popstars. Which is more than I cansay for how we did it here for Idol. Or else 5th place would look like this and not Bucky Covington. Bless his heart.