NSFW - Fatback Media

Super reliable sources at People Magazine report that Katharine McPhee just got engaged to this handsome young man. And by super reliable, I mean who gives a shit.

McPhee, 23, recently has been showing off a ring from Cokas, 42. They have been dating for more than a year.

“Katharine is bubbling over with excitement for her upcoming wedding,” a source says. “She is all smiles when she talks about the planning. It sounds like everything is going very smoothly.” (source)

This, like all relationships initiated in Hollywood where one person is hot and famous with a huge rack and the other person is just some dude that looks like he might be able to help you find a solution to your home theater needs, will end with the hot famous chick moving on and the unfamous dude helping you out with that Pioneer 7.1 surround package.

Some people complain that this site panders to the readers because, invariably everyday there is a post that has a girl in a bikini. Maybe they’re right. Or just maybe, it’s just a coincidence that the most salient news of the day just happens to be about a hot chick in a bikini. Maybe you’re just an insufferable asshole? I don’t know, what am I a doctor?

What is not insufferable is Anna Faris’ ass. Nor is my apostrophe usage on the singular possessive ending in ‘S’. Nor is a Hollywood that is embracing the fact that to make a movie that people will watch, you have to put Anna Faris in a pink bikini. Here are some details on House Bunny.

When Shelly (Anna Faris), a Playboy bunny, is tossed out of the mansion, she has nowhere to go until she falls in with the sorority girls from Zeta Tau Zeta. The members of the sorority ,“ who also have got to be the seven most socially clueless women on the planet, are about to lose their house. They need a dose of what only the eternally bubbly Shelley can provide, but they will each learn on their own to stop pretending to be what others want them to be and start being themselves. (IMDB)

The movie also stars Katharine McPhee who has a scientifically demonstrated perfectly formed ass herself. She plays a pregnant chick so she wears a prosthesis for most of the movie. So it’s cool to get a wood for her even though she looks pregnant. Unless you’re into that shit you dirty bastard. You know the Bible talks about people like you. It also talks about people like Anna Faris. I think Lot’s wife used to hang with those types…

I don’t think I’ve made it a secret how I feel about Katharine McPhee and her two American Idols, but I think I may have just converted to an Assman. Katharine McPhee is set to play a supporting role in the new Anna Faris film House Bunny, where she’ll play a sorority girl with a little problem.

“I am the hippie girl who is free-spirited and gets knocked up and has no father around. I think my whole gimmick is being pregnant,” she said of her role in the comedy, which centers on a former Playboy Playmate (Anna Faris) who signs up to be the house mother at a sorority. “We have all these outfits that I wear that no pregnant woman — I don’t care how hot you are — should ever be wearing.” (source)

Who says pregnant chicks can’t be hot n’ sexy? Pregnant women are glowing and radiant and full of life. They’re also fat and mean with hairy stomachs and an outtie that looks like a Vienna sausage and sometimes they try to kill their babies. Rreeeow.

Katharine McPhee, who seems to only show up at events lately and doesn’t seem to be doing anything musical, still has a perfect rack. And that makes her my American Idol. Katherine McPhee is also a fan of Sanjaya Malakar, apparently:

“First of all, I think Sanjaya is an absolute phenomenon. Every year, there’s something that makes the show even bigger than it was the year before. I’m on the Sanjaya train! I’m like, ‘Go Sanjaya!’ “(source)

This is Katharine at the 9th Annual Young Hollywood Awards show; which seems to be more of a PR vehicle than an actual awards show. Wait that’s ALL AWARD SHOWS. Case in point, Kat McPhee received the “Exciting New Vocalist” award from Randy Jackson and Katharine Heigl received the “Superstar of Tomorrow” award from TR Knight. That’s like the time my mom gave me the coveted “best son in the world” award when I was 10. I got half of a 7-11 turkey sandwich, a pack of Fun Dip and a Big Gulp cup with “Best Son in the World” written on it in eyeliner pencil. Oh, and bus ticket to back to our home town that turned out to be a used lotto ticket with “bus ticket home” written on it in eyeliner pencil. That’s the last time I ever saw her.

• Taryn Manning scares the shit out of me. But I’m still hot for her. Does that make me creepy? (Bastardly)
• Morgan Fairchild got some big ass titties. She’s my wife. Yeah, that’s the ticket. (DS)
• Kevin Bacon would to like to be six degrees up in Hayden’s Panetierre. ZING! I’m a writer! (Glunp)
• Jennifer “call me Love” Hewitt sells underwear. Not hers though. I have most of those anyway. (IBBB)
• Jessica Biel + booty = ‘Nuff said. Shazam. (Yeeeah)
• Sienna Miller is desperate to be sperminated. Dibs! (Holly Scoop)
• Suri Cruise prepares for world domination. Resistance is futile, mutha fucka. (D-Listed)
• Bjork. What the Fjork? (Pop Bytes)
• Phil Stacey is the new Sanjaya. Rule. (Bumpshack)

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Besides Sanjaya, who’s a total dreamboat, Haley Scarnato is the hottest Idol contestant left. (Well, there is that chick that kinda looks like chocolate Shrek. Reeeow. )Point is, Haley may have the nicest rack in American Idol history. Katharine Mcphee is a close second. It’s cool though. She’s used to second place. Zing!

China (THE COMMUNIST COUNTRY) is starting their own version of Idol that, from these reports, may just be spicier than General Gao’s Chicken with extra ginger. It’s going to be called Boys Happy Voice, which sounds like a play I was in at Catholic School. I don’t like to talk about it.

Tears, wild hair and unhealthy songs are banned when China’s latest version of “American Idol” goes on the air next month.

“No weirdness, no vulgarity, no low taste,” the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television said Friday in a notice to the producers of “Boys Happy Voice,” according to the official Xinhua News Agency.

The talent show, to be broadcast beginning May 1, is a sequel to the hugely popular TV contest “Super Girls Voice” in 2005, which drew more than 400 million viewers. The woman who won that contest became a popular singer in China….

“Happy Boys Voice” should include only “healthy and ethically inspiring” songs and avoid scenes of screaming fans or losing contestants in tears,” the regulator was quoted as saying. (source)

The officals were also quoted as saying that, instead of being forced to sing (while crying )when they are eliminated, ousted contestants will be crushed by Red Army Tanks to show their Happy Fun Patriotism and Conformity. More Haley proving that some animals are more equal than others…

Shazam. This is the best season of American Idol. EVER. Katharine McPhee’s yellow dress malfunction pales in comparison to Antonella Barba, and now Alaina Alexander nudes. Of course these are not fully nude or else Alaina’s MySpace profile would be taken down. You know what posting semi-nudes on MySpace gets you?

Hope.

I thought all the hope had left this world after The Departed and 300. But half naked pictures of wannabe singers on MySpace means there are some whole-naked pictures on somebody’s hard drive somewhere, just waiting to be released into the wilds of the internet. And naked pictures, my friends are like secrets and STD’s, they’re bound to come out sometime (usually after putting something where it shouldn’t have been). That doesn’t make sense at all. But what does make sense is how hot Alaina Alexander is. I asked her to be my MySpace friend and I invited her to a Gmail account. I have a good feeling about this one. If Axl Rose has taught me anything, it’s that the LA music scene is a veritable “jungle” and you have to do drugs and porn or “you gonna die”. You. Gonna. Die.

Just this one more. Promise. Then I’m done.

Idol castoff Antonella Barba is speaking out in interviews about her time at Idol and the infamous nude pictures. Although she was kicked off by America because she couldn’t sing, she’ll always be my funny Jersey valentine.

How hard was it to deal with all the controversy that was going on around you when you were on the show?
It was definitely difficult and it wasn’t how I intended things to go, but I tried to block it out as much as possible and stay focused on the competition. All that other stuff was completely irrelevant to the fact that I’m here to sing.

Visibility is important – does part of you feel that there’s no such thing as bad publicity?
Yes, it’s true that my name is more well-known because of it, but I’m not known for the things that I would like to be known for right now. I wanted to make a name for myself in singing. The pictures that have been released of me – the ones that actually are me – they were very personal and that is not how I intended to portray myself. I’d rather promote myself in a more classy way. And, again, that was private – that was not for the public eye.

Were you approached to pose in Playboy?
I heard about it but I was never approached.  (source)

She was also asked if she was dating anyone, to which she replied, “No, not really, I want to focus on my career”. I think we all know that she means she’s really into a certain sexy internet writer. I sent her a NSFW t-shirt and everything.

Not much going on today and I feel like Nick Nolte. Meaning I’m probably drunk and I can’t stop saying “Aw Hell” when someone asks me for something. (Yes that’s a P.O. rip, but it’s the truth). It’s way better than Danny Glover days when “I’m getting too old for this shi….” Digressing. Here are some pictures of Michelle Heaton in a bikini. She’s famous in Britain for something, which means nobody’s ever heard of her. But I’m sure there’s a stripper working the buffet lunch shift at some pub in E. London with tears of motherly pride welling in her tired mascara laden eyes. Or maybe it’s just the smoke. Wiki use at you’re own risk pedia has this:

A former student of Emmanuel College in Gateshead, Heaton began her singing career in the band Sirens with other girls from the north east of England. She rose to fame when she took part in the ITV reality television show Popstars. Heaton reached the final ten but was not selected for the five member band Hear’Say. Soon after, she and the other four unsuccessful applicants formed Liberty X, signing a record deal with Virgin Records. (source)

Popstars was the British inspiration for American Idol. This chick got 5th place. Fifth. Place. Normally, Americans can take anything British and make it ten times more effective and BODACIOUS. Cars? Way better on the right side and the hemi? COME ON. Democracy? Totally sexier in our 3 branched system. Plus. NO WIGS. Fish & Chips? Try it in Boston with Sam Adams, limey. Poverty and lack of healthcare for the poor? That’s shit’s pervasive here, man. BOOOYAH. Wait. ANYWAY.

It looks the Brit’s came in it to win it, got their game faces on and spent some quality time on the selection process for Popstars. Which is more than I cansay for how we did it here for Idol. Or else 5th place would look like this and not Bucky Covington. Bless his heart.

Oh. I mean me, not them. American Idol was on last night and I stopped watching after 85 seconds because it was guy’s night. (Although one of those dudes could definitely make it at a tranny strip club with a 2 inch piece of duct tape) Point is, American Idol is not a singing contest; it’s a humiliation and degradation contest meant to amuse the American public and destroy young psyches. Which is cool by me, we need to weed out the chaff and the rabble. And we need more slutty girls to post pictures of their friends online out of vicious jealousy. Speaking chaff and rabble here are some shots of Antonella Barba and Kellie Pickler with her new breast implants to warm you up for Ladies night. I threw in one of Katharine McPhee, because, damn I miss her.

Check out the poll and vote.

Kellie Pickler appeared on American Idol last night sporting a new look to the amazement of everyone.

Hmm. What is it about Kellie that’s different? Is it her hair? No. Hrm. Oh, maybe she got her teeth whitened? No. Maybe a tan? Nah. She’s still kinda pasty. New nail polish? WHAT IS IT?

Pickler stopped by the ratings juggernaut to perform her new single in a dress that showed off two very large assets suspiciously absent from last year’s show.

Her transformation was so apparent, even Ryan Seacrest noticed. When she appeared on stage, he looked at her new figure, then asked her if there was anything she’d bought with her recent cash windfall. (Once the snickering died down, a giggling Pickler …replied “shoes.”) (source)

Ooooooh. The Bigasstitties. That’s it. How obtuse of me. I could probably do a side-by-side comparison with graphs and charts all CSI style, but nobody really cares about seeing a hick with small boobies now do they? Yeah they’re fake but this country was built on the premise that anyone, no matter how insignificant, can make their dreams come true if the they have a little moxie, a little faith, a little luck and a big ass rack of DD’s. Amen.

More Kellie and one of Antonella Barba, so I can pay rent this month. Totally related.