NSFW – Fatback Media

Wait. Am I still alseep? Because normally when I see Kate Beckinsale and another hot girl stumbling drunk, wearing schoolgirl uniforms and holding hands that’s when I fly in on my unicorn and give them each a kitten right before they make out. I don’t see a unicorn so I must be awake. Oh wait, there’s Len Weisman wearing some sort of school uniform too. I guess this is for a costume party. Like Tarts and Vicars , where the girls dress up like whores and the guys dress up like priests. Or Pimps and Hoes, where the girls dress up like whores and the guys dress up like pimps. Or Golf pros and tennis hoes, where the guys dress up like golfers and the girls dress up like whores. Wonder why the girls always dress up like whores? Hm. Coincidence? I think not!

Kate Beckinsale, who has one of the hottest bodies on the planet, is being railed for recent remarks she made likening girls with anorexia to crack whores. The British website Daily Mail had this:

Miss Beckinsale, whose weight once plummeted to five stones, said: “I believe anorexia, alcoholism and drug abuse in teens are more about what is happening in the home than a problem with images in the media.

“It is the nice girl’s way of becoming a crack whore.” (source)

You gotta love the British. The metric system has been their system of measurement for 200 years and they still weigh people with rocks. Cheerio! I have no idea what five stones is, but it sounds pretty fat. Fatty.

And now for you anorexic crack whores, here are some of the most boring pictures ever taken of Kate Beckinsale (on the set of Winged Creatures). Shame on you Hollywood. How is Kate supposed to drive hopeless girls to anorexia when you cover up her banging body like this? Tsk.

Spring is 14 days away and I’m already breaking out the flip-flops and sun tan oil. If there’s anything that Kate Beckinsale has taught me, it’s that Diet Coke and cigarettes are the best way to sexy a beach bod. I can’t wait for all the spring beach parties to start. I’m putting together my A-list right now.

Will you make the cut? Let’s not get cocky, sweetie. There’s plenty to go around but my parties are fucking prestigious and classy. And they never occur until the actual vernal equinox like the druids and the biker chicks like. So be patient. Til then, I’ll be waiting in my house all oiled up and be-flipflopped wearing my airbrushed muscle t-shirt that says “Myrtle Beach ROX!”. Because? It does.

• Kirsten Dundst is hot like fire. Wait I mean. BURN THE WITCH! (Bastardly)
• John Krasinksi is filming in my home town. He’s dreamy. (GMMR)
• Super Rocker and not poseur at all , Jared Leto has his ass kicked soundly by adoring fans. (Yeeeah)
• Shauna Sands and a see-thru top. No clue.(DS)
• Zodiac was good, if you’re anal. I am. Wait, I mean into anal. Get it? Because Jake Gyllenhaal is gay. Right? (Pajiba)
• Vera, the hottest married chick I know is feeling bad this week. Cheer her up by clicking her adsense! (INO)
• Sharon Stone may be a a batshit crazy cougar, but I like a little fight in my kitty. (ICYDK)
• Tori Spelling opens a B&B. I like B&E at my B&B. (Smart)
• Kate Beckinsale without makeup is still hotter than you. I checked. (Allie is Wired)
• What’s better than college girls? Why collge girl boobies, bein sur. (CH)

It’s Friday, y’all and that’s my time to show my internet love for my sexy blogger posse. We ride around in hoopties, flickin’ switches, rollin’ on twennifoes. It’s ah’ite, bitches.

• Kim “The Cougar” Catrall flashes some fur at a book signing. She’s come a long way since Mannequin. (Subvert)
• They’re back from Argentina with an Emmanuelle Chriqui spread that is sure to give you carpel tunnel. (Bastardly)
• Britney and her boobs head to Miami. (INO)
• Lindsay Lohan called Paris a cunt. Isn’t that like a spade calling a spade a fucking shovel? (Bricks and Stones)
• Jesus loves you. And he loves country music. And boobies. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Oscar movies have three things: They’re way too long, a dude has to cry, and the good guys die. Oscar, say hello to “Babel”. (Pajiba)
• Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson are haters. O.R. They? (Yeeeah)
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes wedding news! Who cares? (Glitterati)