NSFW – Fatback Media

Britney Spears has reportedly confined her husband to sleeping in the basement because they aren’t getting  along.  This only fuels the divorce rumors that have been floating around.

After months of bickering, sources say, Britney Spears, 24, has kicked her husband of 21 months, Kevin Federline from the bedroom to the basement. “He’s been sleeping downstairs for the last several months,” says a source. Seconds another, “Things are really, really, bad. He basically does his own thing.”(source)

I would say it looks like Britney has finally come to her senses, but judging from that picture above, she’s well on her way to full-on white trash. Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve, a veritable cornucopia of tells is revealed by that disturbing image. Do regular people even use giant curlers anymore? Akin to the Mont Blanc pen in the front jacket pocket of the MBA grad, wearing gigantic hair curlers in public is the quintessential  announcement of social status for white trash. The baby firmly attached to one hip. Whilst another bakes patiently in the oven- as it were – leaving one hand free to manage an icy libation or fire up a Kool Menthol from the crumpled pack in her pocket. Luckily the bodyguard cum nanny is in tow with the baby carrier should our young heroine require two hands for her mentholated cigarette…should there be wind, of course.

I know words like budget and money and ‘rithmatic and writin’ are probably tough subjects around the Spears-Federline household, but according to reports Britney is tightening the hold on her money by giving K-Fed a spending allowance.

“Each month, he will be allotted a certain amount of money for personal use – i.e., clothing, nightclubs, booze and day-to-day activities. Any big items – cars, or trips that go over allowance – need to be approved by Brit herself,” said one source. “She acknowledges she has made a great deal of money. However, she is trying to show Kevin that he needs to be responsible and curb his out-of-control spending habits.” Meanwhile, a source at the Four Seasons Hotel in Maui told us the two are still not getting along: “I was in the elevator with Britney, and she was screaming at K-Fed on her cellphone that she had waited in the suite all day for him to call and had been trying to reach him and couldn’t sit in there any longer.” (source)

Besides the fact that Kevin Federline, by all rights, should be the guy who refills the GoJo at the local service station and not the guy driving around in a Ferrari getting a spending budget for booze etc… Wait. There really is no other point. He is a chicken bone sucking hillbilly who should be panhandling for scraps, not figuring out how to spend his million dollar allowance. If I were Britney Spears I wouldn’t be working out budgets or spending limits with K-Fed, I would be lining the basement with plastic and working out my alibi.