NSFW - Fatback Media

 

Young Brit singer Joss Stone thinks she’s unlucky in love. Maybe it’s because she’s dating the wrong kind of guys..err..girls..err human?

The 20-year-old, who has been desperate to be in a relationship since splitting from her first love Beau Dozier in 2005, is now considering giving up on men altogether. Joss told Britain’s The Times magazine: “I think I’ll have to turn lesbian. “Every girl my age wants to be in a relationship. I haven’t had one in two years and look how that ended. I only wish I had something to tell the gossip columnists.” (source)

See, now that’s the kind of gossip I like to read over my morning cup of joe. Nothing gets my day started quite like young, prurient lesbionage. Actually, nothing gets my day started quite like Marco the house boy’s cocktail of steamy pool sex and vodka crans, but I suppose a 20 year old bitter girl turning to lesbianism is a close second, especially if said girl is wicked hot like Joss Stone. She’s scary, like I’ll stab you with a Sharpie in the middle of the night, laugh until the cops come then act surprised to learn you have ink poisoning kinda scary. Seems a little rash to jump sexes with one soured relationship, but far be it for me to deny her time to explore the softer side and ultimately the private videos that will land on You Tube, then the endless phone calls from mom asking what the fuck? Fuckin’ A, I knew I should’ve said no. Fuck you.

Looks like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays :(  …

It’s Monday. I’m still drunk and I hate Irish whiskey from now on. Period. I prefer my whisky sans e, like it was meant to be. Anyway. Here’s Sophia Bush, for no pa’tic’lar reason except that she’s so pretty and I just want to comb her hair and sing to her on a warm summer night with a bottle of ‘82 Margeaux and a bucket of KFC -Original Recipe, cuz I’m old school. No duct tape or anything. She wouldn’t run like the others. I just know it.

LINKS! Muthafuckahs.

• Joss Stone upskirt. When she get so nasty hot? (DS)
• Are you dark & lovely? A gent in the street but a thug in the bed? Wanna bang some luscious white soccer moms while their ineffectual husbands jerk off? You could be a MANDINGO! (Details)
• Michelle Marsh, British chick famous for being naked, naked in Maxim UK. (Phun)
• Paris Hilton is dating some dude who I think is on tv or something. (PopBytes)
• NCAA Girls and their boobies (CH)
• Shooter was pretty good in a 24 kind of way. Dustin, you rogue. (Pajiba)

I’m recovering from a much needed weekend of of debauchery so check out these top stories while I work out my alibi.

Brandon Davis is a fat, spoiled bastard and I would like to kick him in the scrotum. Oh, and he checked into rehab this week. For being a fat spoiled dumbass. (TMZ)

Katherine Heigl is engaged to Josh Kelly, a big goofy musician. And the curse continues… (GMMR)

Adam Brody of “The OC” is high which is my perfect chance to steal his cute little girlfriend Rachel Bilson. (I’m not obsessed)

Speaking of The OC and washed up has beens, Mischa Barton was at the Triggerstreet.com launch party looking pretty effing hot for a change. (Bricks and Stones)

Britney Spears, pregnant and in a bikini. CLICK THIS LINK AT YOUR OWN PERIL. If you’ll excuse me I have to gouge my eyes out with hot pokers now. (ICYDK) (ps. I love the new site Jocelyn!)

Joss Stone in a bikini. For the man who loves a woman to feel like a man. (Subvert Society)

At last, but certainly not least, The Bastardly Girls of the World Cup, Volume II. Meu Deus! (The Bastardly)