NSFW – Fatback Media

Hope you all had a fun filled Easter Weekend celebrating the rabbit that lays chocolate eggs who brought that Jewish guy back from the dead, or whatever that’s all about. I just drank a lot and had sex fourteen times. Which is kinda the same thing. Paganism is the shit. Switching gears from religion to awww, aint that cute as a button, here’s Jessica Simpson, wearing a homemade dress frolicking with John Mayer on the beach in a totally non-staged day of fun in the sun overcast clouds.

LINKS!

• Totally sweet spoiler of the next Heroes Episode. Linderman is a hero too? (Heroes Forum)
• Dita Von Tease gets naked. Again. Never gets old, but GF needs some vitamin D. (DS)
• Avril Lavigne is a sell out. But I’m sure she’s totally hardcore on the inside. (Tasteful)
• Kirsten Dundst got dumped. SFW? (Yeeeah!)
• Jenna Haze drinks something ut I’m just staring at her rack. (Bastardly)
• Scarlett Johansson tries to un-whorify herself. (Bumpshack)
• Charlotte Church is a big black girl. (DListed)
• Celebrities smoking pot, for you fetishist. (City Rag)

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer made some noise recently by having loud sex in a Rome hotel on a recent visit to the Italian city.

 The ‘Employee of the Month’ actress was seen having dinner with the American musician in the romantic Italian city before heading back to the exclusive luxury Hotel de Russie.

When they got back to their room the couple’s energetic bedroom antics could reportedly be heard through the walls.

A source revealed to More magazine: “Jessica and John got back fairly early and stayed in all night. But by the sounds of it, they didn’t get to sleep for a long time.

“This woman was saying she couldn’t believe Jessica sounded like she was getting it on so loudly in the room next door.”(source)

What I can’t believe is how easy it is to bang Jessica Simpson. If I had known all I needed was 2 first class tickets to Rome, accommodations in a 5 star hotel, a mellifluous singing voice and mad guitar chops, I would have an extra notch on commemorative “number of girls I have banged” trophy. Oh, it may look like an ordinary mop handle to you, but to me it’s the story of true love. I have vision. And a chipped up mop handle.

Singers John Mayer and Jessica Simpson have finally stopped denying that they are in a relationship just in time to break up and only be seen together for publicity purposes. Mayer, who has a long history of dating beautiful women like Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt, doesn’t seem to mind.

At Nobu in Miami in Tuesday night, the pair “barely spoke” to each other, reports Page Six, and John “was extremely quiet and didn’t speak a lot.” Jessica, as is her wont, engaged in “a lot of puppy-dog looks and twirled and twisted her hair.” Sure, they were seen holding hands, but Simpson then left John all alone for 20 minutes at the table to get herself primped for cameras waiting outside. (source)

Jessica Simpson’s 100% natural breasts never cease to amaze me or my penis, although my penis said she should cinch up those straps a bit if she’s not going to wear a bra. Side boob is nice, but not when it’s literally hanging on your side. My penis also told me to make fun of John Mayer, because he so tall and gangly and looks like he would rather chew through your neck than have Sushi. But, penis, I say,  when he sings, he just melts my cold steel heart me. He’s dreamy.