NSFW - Fatback Media

This is the perpetually nude Joanna Krupa in her new calendar which features her nude - of all things. Normally, I would rail against this type of thing because it’s just this sort of objectification of women that is perpetuating the cycle of anorexic young girls whoring it up to over-stimulated testosterone fueled meatheads in a society where the “bitch-slap” is in common parlance. But, you know, I really like her tits. Bitch.

Links, sugar.

• How to drive like an asshole. Or “How to be from Massachusetts” (Crave)
• How to score with chicks. (CO)
• Revenge is sweet. And cold. (College Humor)
• Britney got the clap…in her eye. Whore. (Yeeeah)
• Britney Spears is fucking lady, bitches. (Allie)
• Kat Von D’s vagina. Whoever the fuck that is. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Eva Mendes will be mine bitches. (Bastardly)
• Paris Hilton. Stupid Rich Whore Philanthropist. (IBBB)
• Laura Weston is smoking hot, mate. (FHM)
• J-LO-Hew gots some big ass tit-tays. (Notorious)

Here’s Joanna Krupa at Fever Nightclub in Atlanta Ga. There’s really no reason except I like eastern European chicks and she’s partying down south in Hotlanta where it’s warm and dirty. Just like my martinis. Today is dedicated zero talk about American Idol or Antonella Barba or whether or not those pics are her. Promise. Unless some new untagged images land in my inbox. For reals.

In other even sexier news, we’re looking for writers here at FB&C so if you’re sexy, southern and funny drop us a line on the tips page and tell us why. You don’t really have to be southern, but you do have to be sexy and I’m a very harsh critic so photographic eveidence is probably best. Unless you’re a dude. The pay is shit, but I’ll make ya famous. Figure out why these links are better than my site:

• Cameron D smokin’ a fatass J. (IDLYITW)
• Eliza Dushku in a thong, thong, thong,thong, thong. (DS)
• GMMR was at the set of The Office yesterday. She told Rashida Jones I wanted her shit. I’m totally in. (GMMR)
• Kim Kardashian will not release sex tape. But she will destroy the Bajorans. (Bastardly)
• Angelina Jolie is jealous bitch. I guess I ruined her. Sometimes I can be so cruel. (Yeeeah)
• Movies released in February suck, duh. Even if the trailer was freakin’ awesome. (Pajiba)
• Nicole Ritchie might marry Joel Madden. Jimmy smokes crack and I don’t care. (Hail)
• Paris smoked crack and I don’t care. (City Rag)
• Spring is close so look at some trashy collge girl boobies (CH)

Images: source

I am in white trash overload. With Anna Nicole freshly morgued and Britney with one bedazzled toenail in the grave herself and somebody’s gonna have take care of 1 to 3 of the remaining kids between those two, and don’t get me started on patermity tests…I need a break, y’all. Two words. Vay…wait for it…Cation. I’m off to to parts south for a week or so to get some much needed rest, relaxation and all day nudity with a 6 foot tall Swedish supermodel. (check my myspace for the deets, stalker) I’ll still be posting every god damn day so don’t cry. Emily and the rest of the Sexy southern FBC crew will also be posting this week as well (*ahem*) so stay tuned. Read the links, Tina!

• Joanna Krupa gets naked for Peta. She don’t eat meat but she… (Bastardly)
• More Britney in a bikini at a a club whoring it up WT style. (DS)
• Ralph Fiennes gets down up high. In a plane! (Yeeeah!)
• Anna Nicole Smith in FHM fortelling that she’d probably die by 37. Off by 2 years, dumbass. (FHMOnline)
• College Humor still manageing to talk girls into naked boobie shots. (CH)
• DMCA be damned. You can’t keep Subvert from bringing Bai Lings nipples (Subvert Society)
• Britney Spears Rehab Pool. I bet 58 days. (Cele|bitchy)

Sorry about all the Miss USA stuff this week but Lindsay and Paris are starting to bore me. So…

Daddy issues notwithstanding, Tara Conner is pretty damn hot. And easy. And she likes to kiss girls. So basically, she’s perfect. I mean, obviously you wouldn’t want to marry her, because you would spend five years nurturing a bleeding ulcer while she methodically banged every man, woman, and child that you know, only to leave you for a doctor [read: richer new daddy] and a new Range Rover, thus continuing a cycle that will only end in tears. Not hers of course. Yours.

So why all the fuss anyway? What can you really expect from a contest that asks women to objectify themselves in one breath, strutting the stage in a bikini and validate themselves in the next “I want world peace and puppies and love…ooh and I want to own my own business…” all the while being judged on beauty and “poise”. It’s a ridiculous farce so thinly veiled that it’s borderline cruel. The fact that Donald Trump runs the show should be a clue that the only real talent in these so-called contests is a nice rack and toothy smile. So, if the contest is based on how beautiful [read:sexy] you are, then how can you blame Tara Conner for adhering to the established (albeit whispered) standard for sexiness? This is the MTV generation on crack. We have 15 year old girls who are considered sex symbols, NFL cheerleaders making out in bar room stalls and not a thong to be found between Lindsay, Britney or Paris. Tara Conner is not a misguided libertine who failed her duties of office; she’s a fucking overachiever. God Bless Miss America.

So it’s holiday week and none of you are working, or my server wouldn’t be on it’s knees crying for help. Here’s some more stuff to keep you busy.

• Kelly Clarkson is a sloppy drunk. (Yeeeah)
• Kelly Brooke: still hot. Still has a giant rack. Still warrants masturbation in bikini shots. (Derek Hail)
• Joanna Krupa would rather be naked. (Bastardly)
• Brooke Hogan. Well…kinda trampy. Merry Holidays! (Drunken Stepfather)
• The Devil Wears a Documentary. Anna Wintour behind the scenes due soon. (Socialite’s life)
• Will Smith will make you cry. For reals. (Pajiba)
• Christmas Wishes from the Antichrist. (College Humor)