Sexy beefcake Jessica Beil is apparently opening the door to rumors that she might be a lesbian. I actually just made all that up. But what kind of salacious news hound would I be if I went with something like: Jessica Bie really admires Jennifer Aniston, both as an actor and a woman whose strength and perseverance are a model for us all? That last one doesn’t quite give me the same wood as thinking about Jessica Biel and Jennifer Aniston making out in my living room.

“I understand being sexy, men love you, that’s great. But what’s really important is that women want to hang out with you. “That’s what I love about Jennifer Aniston – I watch her films and I think I love her. I really want to be her friend! (source)

Oh. Really. That sounds less like a steaming shower of boobies and girl on girl make outs and more like Jessica Biel sitting outside Jennifer Aniston’s apt in her car smoking cigarettes trying to get the nerve up to leave the teddy bear and hand made love note on her door step. Damn. Here are some pictures os Jessica Beil nude fromback inthe day,just in case you forgot why she’s #1 in your spank bank.

Links if you made it this far;

• Uncle Kracker is a perv. (Yeeeah)
• Britney Spears to bring her oral talents to the VMA’s. (IBBB)
• Vanessa Minnillo nude! Or someone Asian nude! Or a girl with a tan and dark hair and the hariest beave I’ve ever seen, nude! (Notorious)
• White folks and old black folks say the darnedest things! (Don’t Judge Me)
• Buffy (2) is blonde again (INO)
• Paris is a poorly dressed whore. (Bumpshack)
• Natalie Martinez say hola. (Bastardly)
• CNN rips their anchor because she wanted help promote healthy boobies. (Seriously OMG)
• Nadine Coyle has a huge rack. (Jordan)
• Porn stars should burn out, not fade away. (Holy candy)
• Stripes make that ass phatter. (CH)

Apparently, Drew Barrymore got it on with a girl a while back and somehow that’s news. Jane Pratt the former editor of the much rifled, Jane Magazine, is box-munching and telling, Jessica Stein style…

She says that years ago, [Howard] Stern asked her on-air if she had ever had sex with a woman. At the time, she answered “yes,” but then demurred when he asked if it was someone famous.

“It was someone famous,” she confessed to the paper. “I did have sex with Drew Barrymore.”(source)

With the rise of free internet porn and the ability to pull up “anal fisting, piss drinking white whores who like big black cocks on midgets with one eye” porn with the click of a mouse [ed. note: I fucking dare you to google that at work], two girls scissor-sistering, rarely makes anyone raise an eyebrow anymore. And yet it is still considered salacious by the media.

Take the recent so-called lesbian kiss by Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston. That was about as sexy as the handjobs you give yourself when you stay in hotels on business trips. Yeah, the premise has merit but the execution just leaves you sad and feeling a little weird for thinking that was going to make on Craig’s List local. [ed note: anyone who knows how to delete images from a Treo 750 email me]. I have news for you. ALL GIRLS HAVE SEX WITH OTHER GIRLS.  If they say they don’t they’re lying, or just haven’t met the right lady friend yet. Like this chick I know who went to an all girl Catholic School who demurs and says ewww  when I ask if she ever did it with a girl. She says she’s never had sex with a girl and is still a “virgin” but I know rape shame when I see it. Girrrl Power! More Drew, for my sisters with the bilsters.

Hey, ya’ll. It’s been a great week for news so I wanted to throw in some sexy southern weekend links for you hungover slobs who won’t be leaving the house today. To wit.

• Drew Barrymore bikini pics. Not bad for an old chick. (DS)
• Naked college girl from my old school. Go Cocks. Classy as usual. (CH)
• Seacrest is out. Well not really but wants Matt Lauer’s junk. (Glitterati)
• AntonellaBarba poll: Are the BJ pics for real? You decide. (Bastardly)
• Sharon Stone cougars it up in Paris. I’d hit it. I like the crazy ones. (Smart)
• Jennifer Aniston Topless video. Prolly fake, but it’s still boobies. (Gossip or Truth)
• Anna Kornikova has a case of the Mondays (Jordan)
• Anna Nicole’s body is rotting (Derek Hail)
• Get you very own NSFW T-Shirt you dirty bitches. (FBC)
• Pink in a bikini. I’m turned on but a little frightened. Hold me. (Allie)

So remember when everyone was talking about how Jennifer Aniston was going to be nude in The Breakup and you went to see a chick flick just because of that but when you got there all you saw was 2 seconds of ass? And you thought to yourself: god damn marketers. Apparently Jennifer actually filmed the scene nude but at the last minute they re-edited the shot. Thanks to the miracle of technology, we can now bring the full, grainy unedited shot for your viewing pleasure. Will it get your $20 in tickets back or erase the memory of going to see a chick flick with a dude? No. But it’s boobies! Happy Monday.

UPDATE: I guess these pics are too boobilicious forMySQLso I posted them afetr the jump, y’all. Enjoy! Thanks to the eagle eyed FBC boobie fiends for giving me the heads up. Holla.

Click them images to get the full sized boobies!

Every time I go out of town for work, all the good shit happens. To wit:

Paris Hilton got knocked THE FUCK out. Not really, but I think she got punched. (INO)

Jessica Simpson see-thru dress. I think you need x-ray vision because I can’t see shit. (Drunken Stepfather)

Shot throught the heart and your to blame for Bon Jovi action figures and the decline of the homo sapien. (Yeeeah!)

Asia Argento may have a sex tape. If she does it signals the coming of the anti-christ. She’s dirty hot. (Bastardly)

Nick Carter let me know that I could scratch Ashlee Simpson off my list as ruined. (Jordan)

Vince Vaughn broke up with Jennifer Aniston. I just saw friends with money. It sucked. Like Jen’s relationship with Vince. We’re all in this together. (Gossip or truth)

X-Tina rocking the leopard print high heels. (Smart)

Veronica Mars Recap (GMMR)