NSFW – Fatback Media

Jenna Fischer (Pam Beesly on The Office) busted her ass coming out the LA restaurant Buddkan Monday night and broke four bones in her spine. I’m not trying to be funny. She really busted her ass.

The pretty brunette was celebrating her series being renewed Monday night with friends when she slipped on the restaurant’s marble steps and fractured four bones in her back. A friend said she spent the night in St. Vincent’s hospital and had to cancel an appearance on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” and a Harper’s Bazaar shoot. Fischer’s rep, Lewis Kay, said yesterday she’s “doing much better and is resting at her hotel. Her husband [director James Gunn] flew in to be with her.” (source)

Normally I would be mean and make a sexist joke about how most of the girls I sleep with end up with back trouble too, but that’s never really made sense to me. Besides they have to sign a waiver before they can get into the trapeze sling. Anyway. I think Jenna Fischer is cute a button and my friend Kathie says she’s nice as can be. Plus she has a filthy mouth and I fucking love that. I hope she gets better soon. Because that sling is fucking dangerous, girl. I hope you have AFLAC. Here’s some more of Jenna with an unbroken back.

Damn it feels good to be a gangster…

Sorry about the delay folks, but all the sites that I rip off read and appreciate with reverence, have been a little slack about posting. Also, I was drunk on Mojitos and sitting on a beach with a girl with frog tattoo on her ass. Dios Mio! What I noticed about the people on the islands is that they’re very accommodating, they’re usually hot and are great at finding good places to dump a body if you have cash. Side note: the beach is not one of those places. What I also noticed this weekend is that Melissa Joan Hart is back to fighting weight and is looking mighty MILFy, in a witchy sort of way. I love freckles. Explain that, Clarissa. LINKS!

• Speaking of Nickleodeon, Hayden Panetierre is doing her best all grow’d up look. So click it, perv. (Bastardly)
• Courtney Love bikini pics. You’d hit it, don’t lie. Like I lied about your sister. (DS)
• P.Diddy banged Sienna Miller. I wonder if he did it Mandingo style and had Jude Law watch? (Yeeeah)
• Jenna  Jameson had surgery on her box and it’s all fucked up now. Because it was so pristine and supple before. (Celebrity Smack)
• Blades of glory sucked. You know what doesn’t? Jenna Fischer’s rack. (Pajiba)

Emily Scott is Australian which means she’s hot and will get naked for almost no money at all. Based on my experience drinking Gold Coast ‘Rita’s from Outback Steakhouse and a quick trip to Wiki-shrimp on the barbie-Pedia, I’m an expert on nude Australian chicks. And chaize froiyze.

I met a girl from Australia once who told me that Aussie girls love to flash their tits. She said you could walk though Sydney and just yell at group of girls in the mall, “Hey Sheila lemme see yer tits“, and half of them would take off their shirt. The other half would stab you in the kidney with a large knife and eat a kangaroo with Vegemite. They do that, you know. Anyhoosits. Her name was Sheila and she showed me her tits, but it cost me a $100 dollars. Oh, she was a stripper. Did I mention that? LINKS!

• Teresa Palmer is Wonder Woman. Ans she’s smoking hot. (Gutter Bleed)
• Japanese girl with big tits gets a cab (Crave)
• Britney has narcolepsy or either whe a fat whore. (Yeeeah)
• Find a naked chick from your school. (CH)
• Monica Bellucci is still smokin’ hot. (Bastardly)
• Jenna Fischer nude in WIRED magazine for you fucking nerds. (GMMR)
• Anna Nicole cause o’ death revealed! It was dumb fuckin’ cracker disease. (INO)
• Sanjaya looks like Antonella Barba. ZING! I. CAN’T. BE. STOPPED. (Celebitchy)

NAKED!

Damn. Pam Beesley is packing some heat. I don’t mean to be sexist, but if more girls dressed like this around the office, life would be a lot nicer. And sexist. Because what’s an office without some good natured sexual harassment? It’s a fun-less, shithole with no coffee or sodas and only one stall in the bathroom, that’s what. That’s why chicks should wear lingerie: to make the day better. Except the lady who works in HR with the big strange mole on her arm shaped like Cuba with the really, really long hairs that grow out of it and work their way up her arm past her elbow. All I’m saying is that she could braid that shit and it kinda scares me because sometimes I think I can see it breathing. Yeah. Anyone but her.

Before you fire off that email missive about how insensitive I am to the plight of the corporate woman, just hear me out. I’m not saying that women should be objectified or that I think that women aren’t as smart as men or that they can’t do any job that a man can do. We all know that they can (most times even better). I’m just saying it would a be whole lot sexier if they did it in lingerie.

Links! And in case you’re an Assman, a shot of Jenna’s other asset. Get it? My stars, that’s rich. I should write a pilot.

• Janice Dickinson is a hot cougar. Or maybe she’s old and scary. (IDLYITW)
• K-Fed is way too cool for your party anyway, dick. (Yeeeah)
• Michelle Bass has very large eyes. Not really, she has giant boobies. (Bastardly)
• Lindsay Lohan GQ cover. BORING. Read up on how to fuck a hooker for free by Jesus. (DS)
• Britney left rehab on day 27. She’s a real quitter’s quitter. Whore. (IBBB)
• All my Antonella Barba posts. Because I’m a whore. (FB&C)
• Pirates of The Carribean Trailer (GoT)
• Jenna Jameson is fat. I likes ‘em big. (Bricks and Stones)