NSFW – Fatback Media

God. Damn.

What is about Christina Aguilera these days? Hmmm. There’s definitely something different. Ohhhh, right. It’s the big ass titties. Christina Aguilera has been flying under the celeb radar for a while and hasn’t really been making tabloid headlines since she got married. I think that may be because she has intelligence, decorum and class and also because she’s not a idiot redneck whore. She does have an impossibly large rack and that warrants her a special place in all our hearts – even if she did marry a goblin.

I hear she’s pregnant; which may be the reason her chest went from 36DD to 36WTF in last few months. Normally pregnant chicks scare me because of their fuzzy fat bellies and those creepy outties and all that crying about “it’s your baby, I can’t do this alone“, but Christina looks like she’s keeping her pea in smallish sized pod. So, you could technically still have sex with her without being grossed out. Thanks for the mammaries. I love that one. Much more after the jump.

Sexy beefcake Jessica Beil is apparently opening the door to rumors that she might be a lesbian. I actually just made all that up. But what kind of salacious news hound would I be if I went with something like: Jessica Bie really admires Jennifer Aniston, both as an actor and a woman whose strength and perseverance are a model for us all? That last one doesn’t quite give me the same wood as thinking about Jessica Biel and Jennifer Aniston making out in my living room.

“I understand being sexy, men love you, that’s great. But what’s really important is that women want to hang out with you. “That’s what I love about Jennifer Aniston – I watch her films and I think I love her. I really want to be her friend! (source)

Oh. Really. That sounds less like a steaming shower of boobies and girl on girl make outs and more like Jessica Biel sitting outside Jennifer Aniston’s apt in her car smoking cigarettes trying to get the nerve up to leave the teddy bear and hand made love note on her door step. Damn. Here are some pictures os Jessica Beil nude fromback inthe day,just in case you forgot why she’s #1 in your spank bank.

Links if you made it this far;

• Uncle Kracker is a perv. (Yeeeah)
• Britney Spears to bring her oral talents to the VMA’s. (IBBB)
• Vanessa Minnillo nude! Or someone Asian nude! Or a girl with a tan and dark hair and the hariest beave I’ve ever seen, nude! (Notorious)
• White folks and old black folks say the darnedest things! (Don’t Judge Me)
• Buffy (2) is blonde again (INO)
• Paris is a poorly dressed whore. (Bumpshack)
• Natalie Martinez say hola. (Bastardly)
• CNN rips their anchor because she wanted help promote healthy boobies. (Seriously OMG)
• Nadine Coyle has a huge rack. (Jordan)
• Porn stars should burn out, not fade away. (Holy candy)
• Stripes make that ass phatter. (CH)

Except not really. No photoshop here right? I’ve seen more realistic photos in the Weekly World News. Like that bat kid that decided have sex with the fattest lady ever and they were friends with JFK and Hitler and when they went outside to look for el chupacabra, the clouds were shaped like the devil? The DEVIL. Makes you think.

Conspiratorial Update: There are some “behind the scenes” shots of this photoshoot that actually have Britney in them. Or do they? They made the moon landing look pretty convincing too.  (Allure)

Some people complain that this site panders to the readers because, invariably everyday there is a post that has a girl in a bikini. Maybe they’re right. Or just maybe, it’s just a coincidence that the most salient news of the day just happens to be about a hot chick in a bikini. Maybe you’re just an insufferable asshole? I don’t know, what am I a doctor?

What is not insufferable is Anna Faris’ ass. Nor is my apostrophe usage on the singular possessive ending in ‘S’. Nor is a Hollywood that is embracing the fact that to make a movie that people will watch, you have to put Anna Faris in a pink bikini. Here are some details on House Bunny.

When Shelly (Anna Faris), a Playboy bunny, is tossed out of the mansion, she has nowhere to go until she falls in with the sorority girls from Zeta Tau Zeta. The members of the sorority ,“ who also have got to be the seven most socially clueless women on the planet, are about to lose their house. They need a dose of what only the eternally bubbly Shelley can provide, but they will each learn on their own to stop pretending to be what others want them to be and start being themselves. (IMDB)

The movie also stars Katharine McPhee who has a scientifically demonstrated perfectly formed ass herself. She plays a pregnant chick so she wears a prosthesis for most of the movie. So it’s cool to get a wood for her even though she looks pregnant. Unless you’re into that shit you dirty bastard. You know the Bible talks about people like you. It also talks about people like Anna Faris. I think Lot’s wife used to hang with those types…