NSFW – Fatback Media

Hey Fatback luvahs! It’s time for another round of Hometown Hotties. This time we’re featuring the super sexy, and super bendy, Lauren Harrelson from Chi-town. Lena is a model and a skater who can do a triple axel and body check with the best of ‘em. I’d take 5 for fighting with her any day. Here is the interview of our newest hometown hottie.

Fatback Media: So Lena, what’s your full name? Nickname?

LH: [Edited, Sorry fellas!] . Lena is a mix of my moms names (Lourdes(lords)) and my dad’s name Len.cute ey?

FM: How old are you, sugar? (please be over 18! Please be over 18!)

LH: I’ll be the big 2-1 in march!

FM: What part of the country do you live in?

LH: Lovely Chicago

FM: What are you wearing? (JUST KIDDING!)

FM: No seriously, what are you wearing?

LH: Baggy jeans that show my WHOLE ass when i sit down a green tank top and of course my Diamonds

FM: Gay, Bi or straight? (Please be Bi! Please be Bi!) Bi.

LH: Girls are my “thing” but i have an amazing boyfriend i could not live without.

FM: Tell me about your modeling. How long have you been doing it? How did you get into nude modeling?

LH: WELL, I used to be pageants when I was younger. FYI: I’ve won the title Ms. Congeniality MANY times. Having a gay man as my best friend, he’s boosted my confidence in the past 2 years so I’ve done doing a little modeling here and there…

FM: From twitter (and some Myspace um… research), I see you’re an ice skater. Are you so hot because you’re a skater or are you a skater because you’re so hot?

LH: I’m hot cause I’m an ice skater. Oh and I play hockey. Does that make me hotter? (ed. note: OMG yes…)

FM: That question was asinine. Sorry.

FM: But seriously, you’re body is like COMPLETELY perfect. What do you do to keep in shape?

LH: I exercise when Iwake up and before I go to bed. I ALWAYS moving during the day, soooo I’m always burning calories!

FM: You seem really bendy. I’ve got muffin tops from beer and red wine and lots of steak, what do you suggest?

LH: STOP DRINKING!!! Well, to an extent. Did you know if you take a 30 minute walk twice a week you will see those numbers on the scale go down?

FM: Who is sexier; male figure skaters or hockey players?

LH: male figure skaters wear more makeup than I do. My answer is hockey players!

FM: I used to play hockey, you know.

FM: That’s actually a god damn lie. I did watch hockey once. It seemed like it would be way hotter with all girls. Naked girls except for the pads. What’s your feeling on that?

LH: Whoa. That’s a fantasy of mine! (ed note: Um, I think I want to marry you)

FM: Speaking of naked. These shots are smoking hot. Did I hear you say you were in Playboy?

LH: I made it through the first casting call! I should be on www.playboy.com/games soon enough! (ed. note: Keep us posted!)

FM: Are you planning on a career in nude modeling?

LH: If i could make it my career i would move to Bora Bora to pursue it!

FM: Any thoughts on adult films?

LH: HAHA Im shy in front of my cousins! I could never!

FM: Ok, lets find out some personality points from you. What’s a perfect day for you?

LH: I get to sleep in. Have my money dose of Caffine…at some point get a compliment or seven and basically laugh and smile all day. I hate nothing more than anything being depressed or bummed out!!!

FM: What are your pet peeves?

LH: Loud eaters, the sound of cracking knuckles, people who drive SLOW, and people who complain about being over-weight while their eating a cheeseburger.

FM: Turn ons?

LH: Sense of humor and tattoos

FM: Turn offs?

LH: You smell.

FM: Wow I’ve been reading too much Playboy.

FM: Speaking of Playboy, what do you think of the Heidi Montag so-called “nude” shoot?

LH: She is ridiculous. Shes famous for nothing.

FM: It’s 100% NOT NUDE if you ask me… but I digress this interview is about you not me. ANYHOO.

FM: What’s in store for Lauren H? And by that I mean: When’s the next round of naked photos of you going to end up in my mailbox? I’m only concerned because of my readers Lena. Think about the kids. It’s all for the kids.

LH: I hope to get that call back from Playboy (wink wink) about shooting for the magazine and all that fun stuff. I will never get raunchy with my photos, I like clean and classy. Oh, and the kids love Lil Lo!

There you have it folks. I seriously doubt any of you made it this far with our clicking the thumbnails below. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas in July! I don’t know who came up with that concept but I bet that person was probably addicted to internet porn. Speaking of. This chick’s name is Allie and at first glance, I thought she was this chick Nikki that I went to high school with in Myrtle Beach. Upon further investigation it turns out she’s not a naughty amateur with a camera happy boyfriend. She’s a fucking pro. This chick is literally down for anything. You can see more of her here. And by more, I mean you’d better bring towel and an appetite.

It’s Memorial Day time kids and that means hot chicks at the beach. So what better time to showcase all the naked submissions for our “Real Nude at the Beach” promo? Basically we asked our readers to send in naked pictures of themselves at the beach and we would post them for everyone to see. We got a huge response. Unfortunately, we failed to mention that we only wanted female submissions. Sorry guys. And eww.

These are all the submitted images of real live, non model female naked beach pictures. Although some of these are genuinely from hottie readers, I have a feeling that most of these were submitted by dudes and some of them don’t appear to be recent. So if you see your mom in here somewhere, don’t blame us.

PS. one of these naked chicks is my girlfriend. True Story.

Rebecca Romijin just turned 35 and god damn if she doesn’t get hotter every year. These are from ads for La Perla, an Italian company that makes sexy lingerie for married dudes to buy their hot girlfriends. I never saw what the big deal about lingerie was. I mean it’s underwear. Why french it all up? If you’re to the point where your clothes are off except for your underwear ladies, most dudes are gonna bang you even without the embroidered silk butterflies on your thong. It’s kinda overkill. Lingerie ads like this are made for 2 reasons:

1. Rich dudes with mistresses
2. Masturbation

Rebecca Romijin isn’t anyone’s mistress though, she married to (lucky bastard) Jerry O’Connell, the fat kid from Stand By Me, who probably still masturbates to her after they have sex. I know I do. This is a good time.