NSFW - Fatback Media

If you have a thigh fantasy in which you imagine a sweet death experienced between a stocky girl’s amply-muscled thighs, well, I’m pretty sure that Hayden Panettiere can provide that for you. When she’s legal, of course. Oh wait, she’s already dating a 30 old man so I guess there doesn’t need to be a wait. Hayden’s thighs amaze me, and not in a good way. Hayden and her thighs went grocery shopping with her dad today and provided me with deeper insight into their structure. From these new pictures, I’m pretty sure they measure about five inches from knee to the top of the thigh. I’ve been enlighted. And grossed out.

Um. Okay. She’s 18 right? This is Hayden Panetierre as the Obsession of the Year in the new GQ. In the interview Hayden is delightful and charming and she utterly destroys the will of any man who was fighting a battle with his inner perv. Here are some excerpts from Lolita Hayden.

Hayden, you’re 18. You’re not supposed to know what color Merlot is.
I’m Italian, all right? We were raised the Italian way. I have tasted alcohol. I know what it looks like. Don’t be naive here.

What’s the craziest rumor you’ve read about yourself?
Well, now that I’m single, it’s like I’m dating every male I’m standing next to—and possibly every female.

You had to figure the lesbian rumor was coming.
Actually, that’s probably the least of my concerns. That would be a pretty funny one.

What would be a good rumor to start about you? If someone were to put you together with a leading man, who would it be?
God, it could be anyone from Leo DiCaprio to Justin Timberlake—or any girl. You want to make me a lesbian? That’s totally fine with me.

Okay. Well, who would be good?
Um, let’s see. We could do a love affair with Angelina. We could do… Oh gosh, I love—there are so many beautiful girls. Charlize Theron. Oh, my God. Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous. Jessica Alba. (Full interview here)

Okay, Hayden you win. You win.

Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia of the NBC Show Heroes, who were seen getting close at an Emmys party in September, are avoiding rumors that are in fact, dating. According a reliable source who happens to be me, they are quote: doing it. When asked what the couple is likely to do next, the source answered, “More of it.”

[T]he duo some call “Halo” are still close, hanging together at Wednesday’s Race in the Fight Against Epilepsy fundraiser, in Calabasas, Calif. But could these Heroes be a couple?

When asked about the reports of romance, Ventimiglia, 30, chuckled then paused. After a few seconds, he answered, “She and I are close friends. It’s only natural that people are going to couple us together.”

The actor and Panettiere, 18, hung together outside the bash while awaiting their fellow Heroes costars. And although they spoke closely in a shadowy corner, they remained strictly hands-off. (Once inside, the two were ushered into a private VIP room.) (source)

Why deny it? Of course they’re doing it. She’s 18 and spunky and can still eat what she wants and stay as tight as a cheerleader and he’s 30. Which is old as fuck. The cool thing about 18 year old girls is that they have smokin’ hot bodies and they think have life all figured out. They don’t, of course which is why conversations never get difficult and it’s easy to get them to do anal.

Ed. note: I’m not sure why Hayden is dressed as 19th Century London Detective or why Kristen Bell is dressed like King George III.

Well it’s refreshing to see that advertisers have decided to go the high road and not take a barely legal teenager and exploit her using sexually suggestive imagery with and try to mitigate it with a ridiculous sappy tagline. Except, OHMYGOD not really. What the hell? An alter boy with a priest’s nutsack in his mouth isn’t this suggestive. Instead of Got Milk?, it should be Got Facial, Lolita? 

Links for the chickenhawks.

• Lindsay Lohan goes free. Surprise! STFU. (Notorious)
• Jenna Jameson says something about porn or her implants or something. I liked her better with a dick in her mouth. (Yeeeah)
• Tom Brady’s bastard was born today. (IDLYITW)
• Jennifer Aniston is destined to die alone with 50 cats. (Holy Candy)
• Mariah Carey nude and naked to get your SEO on. (City Rag)
• Pink’s marriage is A-OK. At  least that’s what she said after blowing me last night. (Evil Beet)
• Kate Walsh is hot Irish American action, but she’s going off the market. (Bumpshack)
• Rick Springfield lives! (Allie)
• Jessica Biel in FHM France. Mais Oui. (Bastardly)
• Britney might kidnap her own kids, but in her defense she thought that meant sleepy time. (Celebitchy)
• Giselle underboob. (Jordan)
• The Little Mermaid brings it’s cock-like buildings to Broadway. (SeriouslyOMG)
• Let the sunshine in on your painted hippie tits. (CH)

Actress Kristen Bell who played the sassy teen detective Veronica Mars on the CW Network (CW stands for “Couldn’t Wait” to cancel one of the best shows on TV) has her plate full theses days. It looks like she’ll not only be doing the voice overs for the new show Gossip Girls, but she’ll also be appearing in at least 13 episodes NBC’s Heroes this fall. And she let slip that a VMars movie may be in our future. Here’s a snippet of her interview with Michael Ausiello.

The show was hard to follow, the show was really witty, the show was really sassy — it was for intelligent people. So I think it was wrapped up really nicely. That being said, I knew some things that were going to happen in Season 4 that I’m not going to dare say, ’cause that’s probably what the movie is going to be about.” (source)

Although the show was certainly pre-maturely canceled, and the head of CW should have her ass handed to her, it set Kristen Bell up for much bigger things. The show was critically well received and has a rabid Buffy-esque fan base, but the ratings were just never there. And that’s because the show was smart and most people are stupid. I for one really enjoyed the show, but that’s mostly because I like high school chicks that look older then they really are. I guess I’ll have to get into One tree Hill now. Sigh. More Veronica pics. They’re old, but do you really want to see more of her at Comic Con?

So it’s official. Hayden Panettiere is 18. Pervs everywhere are wiping their greasy hands on their shirts and skulking home, because what fun is molesting your own junk over some jail bait when the jail bait warning is lifted? Well it’s a lot of fun, if you’re not a perv. Fucking weirdo. So as a birthday present to us all here are eleventy hundred gallery images of Hayden Panettierre to get you through till the season 2 opener of Heroes.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go talk to the ultra sexy Janine, who just invited me to be her MySpace friend. Sexy Janine, sent me a message that said her profile is way too sexy for MySpace and she doesn’t really do this much, but on a dare she posted some hot, sexy, naked photos of herself at a website with a weird URL ending in “.ru”. Well, I think I know where think is going. Rawr.

Hayden Panettiere fallen jail bait princess. With more after the jump.

Kapow. First it was the tube top and now short-shorts. Hayden Panettiere is hero of bringing back amazing fashion and she’s also a hero to smarmy, greasy fingered pervs all over the world. I know that last one is true because my server logs are pure filth. I get search queries for this site that would make a gangbang fetish whore stop the donkey and unzip her leather face mask to say, god damn that’s fucked up.

I’m talking to you especially, Mr. Feakydeaky dude with the Dubai IP address. That’s some crazy shit. We don’t do that here. I don’t even think that shit was legal in Sodom and Gomorrah. More Hayden Panettiere in short-shorts, but without any of that shit that dude in Dubai was looking for.

Fun Photography Fact: It looks like the photographer used a Fuji Quicksnap that he found in a muddy puddle for most of these. I’ve seen less grains in a bag of rice. Get it? See what I did there? It’s humor!

Links, for dat ass.

• The Hills is on DVD. I think this is the unrated version where they show full frontal. (Pop Bytes)
• Debra Messing is to fashion what my sack is to your chin. Her outfit doesn’t make sense either. (Yeeeah)
• Lisa Rinna and her big lips/tits at Staples for some reason. (IBBB)
• Angelina Jolie still has bisexual feelings, and is still perfectly alright by me. (Allie)
• Nicole Richie has a baby bump. Chick needs to eat some god damn sandwiches for that fetus. (Evil Beet)
• Guess who’s back in tha muthafucking house? Jesus, of course. With some upskirt action. (DS)
• Hot College girl: Nicci. With two c’s and Double D’s. (college humor)
• Hayden Panettiere eats ass. THAT’S IT! Dubai…click this shit. (Glunp)
• Olsen Twin thong action. (Seriously OMG)
• Britney is on the laxatives. Smooth move… (Gossip Mama)
• Amanda Bynes with legs up to there…for the pervs. (Bastardly)
• Paris and the dude from Entourage? (Gabsmash)
• Jessica Biel looks plain. Plain hot as hell! (Notorious)

Hayden Panetierre pumping gas folks. This is what it’s come to. A jail bait actress pumping gas at a Quiki Mart in LA is top shelf news today. Mundane images of actors are the new hotness. Bask. Bask. The gossip world will be turned on its diamonique studded pierced ear. Guaranteed, these shots will be on Extra and Access Hollywood tonight with riveting headlines like, Hollywood Teen Heroically Pumps Gas, or Hayden’s Heroism Fuels Car, or TV’s Hero is jailbate for 38 more months you pervs. Billy Bush will be all over this like Princess Di on a tunnel wall. I’m all over the headlines bitches, so eat the links.

• In the interest of fair balance, here’s an article about some hot dude. (Back Seat Cuddler)
• Demi Moore MILF-ing it up with some See Thru nipples. (Yeeeah)
• Lindsay Lohan puts the drugs and fun back into rehab. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Missy Peregrym is a hero. Who should be naked. That’s HEROIC. (Bastardly)
• Paris’ Car gets repo’s. What a poor bitch. (Celebitchy)
• More dude posts: Sting’s stinger for you ladies and any dudes that are into that shit. (Seriously OMG)
• Random hot naked chick at College Humor. (CH)

Hope you all had a fun filled Easter Weekend celebrating the rabbit that lays chocolate eggs who brought that Jewish guy back from the dead, or whatever that’s all about. I just drank a lot and had sex fourteen times. Which is kinda the same thing. Paganism is the shit. Switching gears from religion to awww, aint that cute as a button, here’s Jessica Simpson, wearing a homemade dress frolicking with John Mayer on the beach in a totally non-staged day of fun in the sun overcast clouds.

LINKS!

• Totally sweet spoiler of the next Heroes Episode. Linderman is a hero too? (Heroes Forum)
• Dita Von Tease gets naked. Again. Never gets old, but GF needs some vitamin D. (DS)
• Avril Lavigne is a sell out. But I’m sure she’s totally hardcore on the inside. (Tasteful)
• Kirsten Dundst got dumped. SFW? (Yeeeah!)
• Jenna Haze drinks something ut I’m just staring at her rack. (Bastardly)
• Scarlett Johansson tries to un-whorify herself. (Bumpshack)
• Charlotte Church is a big black girl. (DListed)
• Celebrities smoking pot, for you fetishist. (City Rag)