NSFW – Fatback Media

If you have a thigh fantasy in which you imagine a sweet death experienced between a stocky girl’s amply-muscled thighs, well, I’m pretty sure that Hayden Panettiere can provide that for you. When she’s legal, of course. Oh wait, she’s already dating a 30 old man so I guess there doesn’t need to be a wait. Hayden’s thighs amaze me, and not in a good way. Hayden and her thighs went grocery shopping with her dad today and provided me with deeper insight into their structure. From these new pictures, I’m pretty sure they measure about five inches from knee to the top of the thigh. I’ve been enlighted. And grossed out.

Um. Okay. She’s 18 right? This is Hayden Panetierre as the Obsession of the Year in the new GQ. In the interview Hayden is delightful and charming and she utterly destroys the will of any man who was fighting a battle with his inner perv. Here are some excerpts from Lolita Hayden.

Hayden, you’re 18. You’re not supposed to know what color Merlot is.
I’m Italian, all right? We were raised the Italian way. I have tasted alcohol. I know what it looks like. Don’t be naive here.

What’s the craziest rumor you’ve read about yourself?
Well, now that I’m single, it’s like I’m dating every male I’m standing next to—and possibly every female.

You had to figure the lesbian rumor was coming.
Actually, that’s probably the least of my concerns. That would be a pretty funny one.

What would be a good rumor to start about you? If someone were to put you together with a leading man, who would it be?
God, it could be anyone from Leo DiCaprio to Justin Timberlake—or any girl. You want to make me a lesbian? That’s totally fine with me.

Okay. Well, who would be good?
Um, let’s see. We could do a love affair with Angelina. We could do… Oh gosh, I love—there are so many beautiful girls. Charlize Theron. Oh, my God. Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous. Jessica Alba. (Full interview here)

Okay, Hayden you win. You win.

Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia of the NBC Show Heroes, who were seen getting close at an Emmys party in September, are avoiding rumors that are in fact, dating. According a reliable source who happens to be me, they are quote: doing it. When asked what the couple is likely to do next, the source answered, “More of it.”

[T]he duo some call “Halo” are still close, hanging together at Wednesday’s Race in the Fight Against Epilepsy fundraiser, in Calabasas, Calif. But could these Heroes be a couple?

When asked about the reports of romance, Ventimiglia, 30, chuckled then paused. After a few seconds, he answered, “She and I are close friends. It’s only natural that people are going to couple us together.”

The actor and Panettiere, 18, hung together outside the bash while awaiting their fellow Heroes costars. And although they spoke closely in a shadowy corner, they remained strictly hands-off. (Once inside, the two were ushered into a private VIP room.) (source)

Why deny it? Of course they’re doing it. She’s 18 and spunky and can still eat what she wants and stay as tight as a cheerleader and he’s 30. Which is old as fuck. The cool thing about 18 year old girls is that they have smokin’ hot bodies and they think have life all figured out. They don’t, of course which is why conversations never get difficult and it’s easy to get them to do anal.

Ed. note: I’m not sure why Hayden is dressed as 19th Century London Detective or why Kristen Bell is dressed like King George III.

Well it’s refreshing to see that advertisers have decided to go the high road and not take a barely legal teenager and exploit her using sexually suggestive imagery with and try to mitigate it with a ridiculous sappy tagline. Except, OHMYGOD not really. What the hell? An alter boy with a priest’s nutsack in his mouth isn’t this suggestive. Instead of Got Milk?, it should be Got Facial, Lolita? 

Links for the chickenhawks.

• Lindsay Lohan goes free. Surprise! STFU. (Notorious)
• Jenna Jameson says something about porn or her implants or something. I liked her better with a dick in her mouth. (Yeeeah)
• Tom Brady’s bastard was born today. (IDLYITW)
• Jennifer Aniston is destined to die alone with 50 cats. (Holy Candy)
• Mariah Carey nude and naked to get your SEO on. (City Rag)
• Pink’s marriage is A-OK. At  least that’s what she said after blowing me last night. (Evil Beet)
• Kate Walsh is hot Irish American action, but she’s going off the market. (Bumpshack)
• Rick Springfield lives! (Allie)
• Jessica Biel in FHM France. Mais Oui. (Bastardly)
• Britney might kidnap her own kids, but in her defense she thought that meant sleepy time. (Celebitchy)
• Giselle underboob. (Jordan)
• The Little Mermaid brings it’s cock-like buildings to Broadway. (SeriouslyOMG)
• Let the sunshine in on your painted hippie tits. (CH)