NSFW – Fatback Media

Man that Hayden Panetierre is making me question my rule about underage chicks. Which is: don’t do it. Unless you’re out of town and the bouncers let her in on a fake ID. Speaking of… where the hell is Heroes? I’m interested to see more of that new shapeshifter chick from the Stick it. Yeah, I saw it. Where do you think the girl with the fake ID and I went for our first date? Missy Peregrym (from Stick it, duh)is pretty smokin’ hot in a manly Jessica Biel sorta way. Sometimes I need to be held. LINKS!

• This site is chock full o’ pics of Hayden Panetierre for you hard candy lovers. (Celebrity Hubris)
• Chick from the Pussy Cat Dolls,barley dressed. (Phun)
• Britney Spears is like the Peter Pan of pop stars. Except stupid. (IDLYITW)
• Jessica Biel is man-some women. It’s a mixed up mumbled up shook up world. (Yeeeah)
• Lindsay Lohan is a scissor sister. (DS)
• Sanjaya: deconstructed. (Celebrity smack)
• Clara in King magazine. Shazam! (Bastardly)
• In case you missed it. The Olivia Mojica sex tape trailer (FBC)

Damn it feels good to be a gangster…

Sorry about the delay folks, but all the sites that I rip off read and appreciate with reverence, have been a little slack about posting. Also, I was drunk on Mojitos and sitting on a beach with a girl with frog tattoo on her ass. Dios Mio! What I noticed about the people on the islands is that they’re very accommodating, they’re usually hot and are great at finding good places to dump a body if you have cash. Side note: the beach is not one of those places. What I also noticed this weekend is that Melissa Joan Hart is back to fighting weight and is looking mighty MILFy, in a witchy sort of way. I love freckles. Explain that, Clarissa. LINKS!

• Speaking of Nickleodeon, Hayden Panetierre is doing her best all grow’d up look. So click it, perv. (Bastardly)
• Courtney Love bikini pics. You’d hit it, don’t lie. Like I lied about your sister. (DS)
• P.Diddy banged Sienna Miller. I wonder if he did it Mandingo style and had Jude Law watch? (Yeeeah)
• Jenna  Jameson had surgery on her box and it’s all fucked up now. Because it was so pristine and supple before. (Celebrity Smack)
• Blades of glory sucked. You know what doesn’t? Jenna Fischer’s rack. (Pajiba)

Emily here. TGI Fucking Friday! Hilary Duff and boyfriend Joel Madden have recently filed for a restraining order against two alleged stalkers (and this time it’s not me!) Duff is claiming it has escalated to a level in which she fears for her life and has requested the men stay at least 100 yards away.

Hilary Duff claims in court documents that she fears for her life, alleging she and her boyfriend are being stalked by two men — one a paparazzi and the other a homeless man.

TMZ has obtained court documents filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, in which Duff and Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden claim that a 19-year-old Russian emigre came to the United States “for the sole purpose of meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff.”

The court documents state the man, whose first name is Max, “admitted to being ‘obsessed’ with her, has stated his intention of ‘removing’ his ‘enemies’ (i.e., those who prevent him from being with her), has stated his intention of purchasing a weapon, and has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention.”(source)

I don’t know what Hilary’s so uptight about; a stranger willing to die in an attempt to win her affection is flattery at its peak! Ask any southern girl. And, that’s just par for the course at the Chateau d’Emily. So many injuries sustained by suitors falling out of the tree outside my bedroom window. I guess I could close the blinds when I do my naked Pilates, but then I would miss out on all those nice people just dying to meet me. There’s nothing like a love confession from a man (or woman!) hanging from a tree, wearing nothing but a long gray trench coat, army boots and a smile to bolster a girl’s ego. That’s not crazy baby, that’s love. How do you think I met my current boyfriend? Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s almost visiting hours.

Oh, for you Pervy McCrotchrubber’s, here are more pictures of Hilary with Hayden Panettiere sucking on a lollipop and being too goddamn young for you. Perv.