NSFW - Fatback Media

If you have a thigh fantasy in which you imagine a sweet death experienced between a stocky girl’s amply-muscled thighs, well, I’m pretty sure that Hayden Panettiere can provide that for you. When she’s legal, of course. Oh wait, she’s already dating a 30 old man so I guess there doesn’t need to be a wait. Hayden’s thighs amaze me, and not in a good way. Hayden and her thighs went grocery shopping with her dad today and provided me with deeper insight into their structure. From these new pictures, I’m pretty sure they measure about five inches from knee to the top of the thigh. I’ve been enlighted. And grossed out.

After denying rumors that they were dating, 30 year old Milo Ventimiglia and 18 year old Hayden Panettierre have admitted they are in fact dating. This may be the cutest story ever! If cute was a creepy 30 year old trolling a high school cafeteria.

After weeks of denials MILO VENTIMIGLIA has finally admitted that, yes, he is dating the lovely Hayden.

According to Stateside reports, Milo couldn’t help gushing over his new lover at the pre-Christmas Water Grill party in LA.

An eyewitness said: “He called her his girlfriend and said that he loved her.”

The couple then spent the rest of the party sitting together and holding hands. (source)

Rest assured though, this isn’t creepy at all, as a “friend” describes here:

As for the existence of a mini generation gap – Ventimiglia’s 30, while Panettiere’s 18 – the friend adds, “At first it doesn’t seem like there’s a big age difference, but then you do see it. … He’s more proper and reserved, and she’s still playful and very girly.” (source)

Um, DUH. That’s why he’s banging her. She’s 18 and bendy and she hasn’t been ravaged by years of fast food value meals, cigarettes and frat boy cocks. Of course he’s going to hit that. For most girls, it’s all down hill after 20 when genetics starts to take over. That’s why I’m a volunteer chaperon at all the high school parties. Win-win.

On the heels of rumors that she was dating Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia, fresh rumors are circulating that barely legal actress Hayden Panettiere may be hooking up with another older man, Ryan Gosling (fresh from his breakup with Rachel McAdams).

“Heroes” cheerleader Hayden Panettiere noshed with her momager at the Chateau Marmont in L.A. over the weekend. Ever conscious of the paparazzi, the actress changed sunglasses three times during lunch. Her various looks must have intrigued Ryan Gosling, who came over to her table. “They were hugging a lot, and they ended up exchanging numbers,” said an onlooker. (source)

Most of the crap we post here bores the shit out of me - and this is no different, except for the fact that Hayden Panettierre is cute as a button and is doing nothing to keep the pervs at bay. First there was the Lolita GQ shoot and now the hot boots in New York at Christmas, ploy. What makes Hayden extra pretty is the chick walking behind her (in the banner pic) on the walk-of-shame back to her apartment with her underwear wrapped up in a ball in that red purse. A psychic source read her thoughts as, “I sure hope those bitches in HR don’t see this!” And also, “Fuck, why did I do anal with the sales rep? Those guys are assholes…”

Um. Okay. She’s 18 right? This is Hayden Panetierre as the Obsession of the Year in the new GQ. In the interview Hayden is delightful and charming and she utterly destroys the will of any man who was fighting a battle with his inner perv. Here are some excerpts from Lolita Hayden.

Hayden, you’re 18. You’re not supposed to know what color Merlot is.
I’m Italian, all right? We were raised the Italian way. I have tasted alcohol. I know what it looks like. Don’t be naive here.

What’s the craziest rumor you’ve read about yourself?
Well, now that I’m single, it’s like I’m dating every male I’m standing next to—and possibly every female.

You had to figure the lesbian rumor was coming.
Actually, that’s probably the least of my concerns. That would be a pretty funny one.

What would be a good rumor to start about you? If someone were to put you together with a leading man, who would it be?
God, it could be anyone from Leo DiCaprio to Justin Timberlake—or any girl. You want to make me a lesbian? That’s totally fine with me.

Okay. Well, who would be good?
Um, let’s see. We could do a love affair with Angelina. We could do… Oh gosh, I love—there are so many beautiful girls. Charlize Theron. Oh, my God. Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous. Jessica Alba. (Full interview here)

Okay, Hayden you win. You win.

Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia of the NBC Show Heroes, who were seen getting close at an Emmys party in September, are avoiding rumors that are in fact, dating. According a reliable source who happens to be me, they are quote: doing it. When asked what the couple is likely to do next, the source answered, “More of it.”

[T]he duo some call “Halo” are still close, hanging together at Wednesday’s Race in the Fight Against Epilepsy fundraiser, in Calabasas, Calif. But could these Heroes be a couple?

When asked about the reports of romance, Ventimiglia, 30, chuckled then paused. After a few seconds, he answered, “She and I are close friends. It’s only natural that people are going to couple us together.”

The actor and Panettiere, 18, hung together outside the bash while awaiting their fellow Heroes costars. And although they spoke closely in a shadowy corner, they remained strictly hands-off. (Once inside, the two were ushered into a private VIP room.) (source)

Why deny it? Of course they’re doing it. She’s 18 and spunky and can still eat what she wants and stay as tight as a cheerleader and he’s 30. Which is old as fuck. The cool thing about 18 year old girls is that they have smokin’ hot bodies and they think have life all figured out. They don’t, of course which is why conversations never get difficult and it’s easy to get them to do anal.

Ed. note: I’m not sure why Hayden is dressed as 19th Century London Detective or why Kristen Bell is dressed like King George III.

Hayden Panettiere, 18, and Stephen Colletti (that dude from Laguna Beach), 21, have split after dating for almost two years. Us Magazine reports:

As a source tells Us,”Their breakup has been a long time coming.” But that doesn’t mean the former sweethearts are feuding. Panettiere tells Us, “We are still very close friends and talk to each other frequently. We appreciate and support each other’s careers.”

Each other careers?? Hayden Panettiere stars in one of the most critically and commercially successful shows on television. The only thing I’ve ever seen this dude in is pictures holding Hayden’s hand. I didn’t know that was considered a career. I wonder what he’s going do next? Probably be giving me a test drive in a 2008 Ford F-150. And he better give me a good deal. The guy at the other dealership told me he’d take my trade no matter how much I owe!

Well it’s refreshing to see that advertisers have decided to go the high road and not take a barely legal teenager and exploit her using sexually suggestive imagery with and try to mitigate it with a ridiculous sappy tagline. Except, OHMYGOD not really. What the hell? An alter boy with a priest’s nutsack in his mouth isn’t this suggestive. Instead of Got Milk?, it should be Got Facial, Lolita? 

Links for the chickenhawks.

• Lindsay Lohan goes free. Surprise! STFU. (Notorious)
• Jenna Jameson says something about porn or her implants or something. I liked her better with a dick in her mouth. (Yeeeah)
• Tom Brady’s bastard was born today. (IDLYITW)
• Jennifer Aniston is destined to die alone with 50 cats. (Holy Candy)
• Mariah Carey nude and naked to get your SEO on. (City Rag)
• Pink’s marriage is A-OK. At  least that’s what she said after blowing me last night. (Evil Beet)
• Kate Walsh is hot Irish American action, but she’s going off the market. (Bumpshack)
• Rick Springfield lives! (Allie)
• Jessica Biel in FHM France. Mais Oui. (Bastardly)
• Britney might kidnap her own kids, but in her defense she thought that meant sleepy time. (Celebitchy)
• Giselle underboob. (Jordan)
• The Little Mermaid brings it’s cock-like buildings to Broadway. (SeriouslyOMG)
• Let the sunshine in on your painted hippie tits. (CH)

So it’s official. Hayden Panettiere is 18. Pervs everywhere are wiping their greasy hands on their shirts and skulking home, because what fun is molesting your own junk over some jail bait when the jail bait warning is lifted? Well it’s a lot of fun, if you’re not a perv. Fucking weirdo. So as a birthday present to us all here are eleventy hundred gallery images of Hayden Panettierre to get you through till the season 2 opener of Heroes.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go talk to the ultra sexy Janine, who just invited me to be her MySpace friend. Sexy Janine, sent me a message that said her profile is way too sexy for MySpace and she doesn’t really do this much, but on a dare she posted some hot, sexy, naked photos of herself at a website with a weird URL ending in “.ru”. Well, I think I know where think is going. Rawr.

Hayden Panettiere fallen jail bait princess. With more after the jump.

Kapow. First it was the tube top and now short-shorts. Hayden Panettiere is hero of bringing back amazing fashion and she’s also a hero to smarmy, greasy fingered pervs all over the world. I know that last one is true because my server logs are pure filth. I get search queries for this site that would make a gangbang fetish whore stop the donkey and unzip her leather face mask to say, god damn that’s fucked up.

I’m talking to you especially, Mr. Feakydeaky dude with the Dubai IP address. That’s some crazy shit. We don’t do that here. I don’t even think that shit was legal in Sodom and Gomorrah. More Hayden Panettiere in short-shorts, but without any of that shit that dude in Dubai was looking for.

Fun Photography Fact: It looks like the photographer used a Fuji Quicksnap that he found in a muddy puddle for most of these. I’ve seen less grains in a bag of rice. Get it? See what I did there? It’s humor!

Links, for dat ass.

• The Hills is on DVD. I think this is the unrated version where they show full frontal. (Pop Bytes)
• Debra Messing is to fashion what my sack is to your chin. Her outfit doesn’t make sense either. (Yeeeah)
• Lisa Rinna and her big lips/tits at Staples for some reason. (IBBB)
• Angelina Jolie still has bisexual feelings, and is still perfectly alright by me. (Allie)
• Nicole Richie has a baby bump. Chick needs to eat some god damn sandwiches for that fetus. (Evil Beet)
• Guess who’s back in tha muthafucking house? Jesus, of course. With some upskirt action. (DS)
• Hot College girl: Nicci. With two c’s and Double D’s. (college humor)
• Hayden Panettiere eats ass. THAT’S IT! Dubai…click this shit. (Glunp)
• Olsen Twin thong action. (Seriously OMG)
• Britney is on the laxatives. Smooth move… (Gossip Mama)
• Amanda Bynes with legs up to there…for the pervs. (Bastardly)
• Paris and the dude from Entourage? (Gabsmash)
• Jessica Biel looks plain. Plain hot as hell! (Notorious)

Hayden Panetierre is a hero. A hero of the tube top blouse and by God, that’s a hero we can all trust with our lives. Besides being cute as a Chinese baby in teddy bear pajamas, she’s built like she could rip your spine out with one hand like the Predator. I like that unpredictability in a girl. Keeps things interesting. I know she’s 17, but in most states that makes her legal (to be fair most states really means Alabama and South Carolina) so it’s not pervy at all to think she’s hot in that tube top (assuming of course that you are in Alabama or South Carolina). So Roll Tide and Go Cocks.