I’ll get straight to the point. On a holiday week that should suffice. No puns needed. Just good old fashioned nudity on a Monday like God intended. I’m patriotic like that. Rebecca Gayheart (the nude girl here) is a Kentucky native so she is automatically a an F&C fave, y’all. You may remember her in such classics as Earth 2, Vanished and CSI in sexy supporting roles (although she rocked in Jawbreaker), but she’ll always be the cute little Noxema girl to me. Kerri Russel be damned. Whatever. She’s hot and naked. Oh, word to the wise – never get Noxema on your junk; it won’t do what you think it will.

Oh that dude who looks like me from behind, is her husband Eric Dane who plays McSomethingorother on Grey’s Anatomy. They got married in Vegas after….blah blah blah. Nudity.

Grey’s Anatomy beauty Katherine Heigl will be staying on the hit ABC show after all. This all stems from reports that she was complaining about her salary. Earlier this week a source told PEOPLE that Katherine was not happy with her compensation and felt like others were getting a better deal.

“Katie is disappointed and hurt that (producer) Touchstone doesn’t value her as much as her other costars, especially Sandra Oh and Isaiah Washington,” (source)

After negotiations ABC released this as a rebuttal to that report:

“Katherine is an integral part of Grey’s Anatomy and its success. Fortunately, we have a longterm contract to ensure she’ll be with the show for several years to come,” says the statement. “In recognition of her tremendous talent and value to the show, we recently approached Katherine with an offer to raise her compensation significantly above the terms of her current contract. We were surprised to see this gesture reported negatively in the press, and want to reassure fans that she will continue as Izzie Stevens.” (source)

Wow. When they put it that way, I guess they’re really saying the same thing. Because at first it sounded like:

Shut the fuck up or you’ll be doing bit parts on Crossing Jordan and Law & Order for the next 5 years, even if Ellen Pompeo starves to death . Roswell and a Steven Seagall fucking sequel gets you about Jack. Shit. SO. HELP. ME. GOD. Now go get me a god damn sandwich from craft services.

More “Katie” modeling at the car show because she’s just that good.

Ok, it’s the holidays and things are slow so I’m going through the posting queue and pulling out some also-rans. Enjoy the stale news bitches.

Repeat after me: Nicole Richie was not in rehab. She was in rehab, wasn’t she?

Nicole Richie wants to clear the air once and for all!

An eyewitness tells Life & Style that the skinny starlet, who had reportedly gone into rehab to seek help for her weight, marched up to gossip blogger Perez Hilton today at LA’s Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and insisted to him: “I was NOT in rehab! Everyone was wrong. I did not go to rehab.” (source)

While probably laden with swimming pools, tennis courts, caviar and movie stars, I’m still pretty sure that building is considered an institution. And your seminar on ‘how to eat more than 6 raisins’ is probably considered therapy. And your 78-pound frame is almost certainly considered to be the cause of an eating disorder. I’m not a doctor, but I have watched several episodes of Grey’s Anatomy so I’m quite sure that qualifies me to make these judgments. Now I’m off to eat a cheeseburger (extra mayo!) while watching my “stories”. Here are some pictures of April Scott a woman who knows what curves are supposed look like.
 

Hey y’all, we’re gathering up all the hotness for the day for you. And by we, I mean Emily’s on a vacation/mission to corrupt the youth of this country so it’s just me scanning the trades for breaking news, slipped nips, sex tapes or divorces. Sadly the entire internet has beat me to the punch, so here are the top stories.

• Bastardly Hot or Not victim Amy Paffrath lashes back in her myspace at the Bastardly for her rating. We think you’re you’re cute as a button Amy, plus you went to school down south so you get a big ole FB&C holla! (Bastardly)
• Katie Holmes about to experience real Cruise Control: marriage. (Glitterati)
• The line that launched a 1000 internet empires, “Britney Spears Sex Tape” is now true. Too little too late? (Yeeeah)
• Ellen Pompeo is getting married to…yaaaawn. What? Oh. (Bumpshack)
• It’s a sad world when an upskirt shot can make you feel like this. (Celebrity Smack)
• Jennifer Love Hewwit’s thong has nothing to do with the greatest of Jesus. (Drunken Stepfather)

In case you’re wondering that image is Amy Paffrath at an event. Google images told me so. And they’re right 10¹⁰⁰% of time. Get it? Nerd.

That’s a lie. There is nothing better than Sophia Bush posing on a southern river in a white cotton dress-at once, the angelic, unspoiled bayou princess and deliberate diabolic temptress. Angels lament in jealous furies because her cuteness is absolute, tyrannical and knows no bounds. Her cuteness grows and it will destroy you. I’m not obsessed with her, though. My therapist prefers the term psychopathically dangerous infatuation. Whatever.

Feel free to check these hot links while I cut the heart out of these Sophia Bush pictures and paste them them to my collage with my face in the hole. Get it? Yeah well, the so called doctor didn’t either.

• Sophia Bush not mentioned on The Office Thursday on GMMR. Fo’ Sho. (GMMR)
• Emmanuelle Chriqui giving Sophia Bush a run for her cute ass money. (Bastardly)
• Sophia Bush on the cover of the new Maxim. See where this is going? (Bumpshack)
• Bobcat Goldthwait gets in trouble for bestiality not involving Sophia Bush. (Yeeeah!)
• Red Blooded American vagina, but it’s not Sophia Bush’s though. Although, I’m sure hers is. Patriotic, that is. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Jessica Simpson got laid in Africa and divorced Nick Lachey. Not really. But take it from me, you can never go back. Unless it’s with Sophia Bush.(Smart)
• Grey’s anatomy McDreamy fight was started by a gay slur. Not a gay guy who’s had a stroke and tried to fight Patrick Dempsey, but a negative epithet about being gay that was used in the context of an argument by another cast member. No real reason to tell you that. But, you know, in case you were confused like me. Sophia Bush is not a racist. (Cele|bitchy)