NSFW – Fatback Media

Um. Okay. I guess Nicole Kidman really is pregnant this time. Maybe the first one (last week) didn’t take and she’s newly 12 weeks pregnant. Whatever.

Nicole Kidman and husband Keith Urban are expecting their first child, her rep confirms.

“The couple are thrilled,” Catherine Olim says in a statement. (source)

I’m glad she got pregnant after Tom Cruise instead of with Tom Cruise because then her baby would have to fight Katie Holmes’s baby and the winner would eat the loser baby and then destroy the earth. So, all in all, I think we dodged a bullet on that one. Even though I think she died 9 years ago at the hands of a vampire, Nicole Kidman still looks pretty fucking hot and you have to respect a girl that pale going out in the sunlight wearing see thru clothing.

Jessica Simpson was feeling quite giving this holiday season. No, I’m not talking about the nipple slip above, although that is sure to make everyone including baby Jesus tickled pink, Jessica recently sent Prison Break star Lane Garrison a TV to help him get through his 40 month stint in jail for a drunk driving accident that killed a teenager.

JESSICA SIMPSON gave jailed actor LANE GARRISON something to smile about over Christmas (07) – she reportedly gifted the former PRISON BREAK star with a colour TV. Garrison, who is serving a 40-month prison sentence for a drink driving accident that cost a teenage passenger his life, was granted access to a TV in his cell for good behaviour, but didn’t have the funds to buy one. So Simpson, who grew up with Garrison, offered to buy her troubled friend the TV, according to In Touch Weekly magazine. (source)

That was pretty sweet of her, but if he doesn’t have cable or an antenna, then he’ll only be able to get the FOX network which airs new episodes of Prison Break every week. So, maybe she really doesn’t like him at all. I mean she showed us her nipple Lane. And we didn’t kill anybody. More of Jessica Simpson’s right nipple for the free people.

More nipple-tastic links!

• Your perfume smells like vagina. No really. (Unibrow)
• Whose Boobs? Italian style! (LG)
• Kimberly Stewart got hot? (Bastardly)
• Guess whose gigantic rack this is. (SeriouslyOMG)
• 100′s of hot nude links. Except mine. Thanks jesus. (DS)
• Who would you rather bang? (Liquid Generation)
• Miranda Kerr and her Aussie boobies. (Jordan)
• Coutney Cox’s asshole. (Yeeeah)
• Jennifer Aniston’s ass in a thong. (IBBB)
• Lindsay Lohan is still a whore. (Allie)
• Vivica Fox cell phone blowjob. (Bumpshack)
• Coco. You got the whole camel in there? (Gone Hollywood)
• This nude chick is smokin’. No really she has a cigarette. (CH)

Well, it’s all over folks. Jessica Alba is pregnant by Cash Warren, a guy who is apparently good at miscellaneous crew and self. [Ed note: If I had just knocked up a girl in the top 99 percentile of hotness, I wold definitely beef up my IMDB profile with shit about killing ninjas and magical powers.]

Jessica Alba is pregnant with boyfriend Cash Warren’s child, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

“I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer,” says rep Brad Cafarelli.

Alba, 26, has dated Warren, 28, since the fall of 2004 after they met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren was a director’s assistant. (source)

I guess I can’t blame him though. I’ve always dreamed of meeting a hot actress, dating her for a while, having her break up with me for being a dick, then getting back together with her and trapping her by getting her pregnant. It’s kind of poetic. Here’s some Jessica Alba that you’ll never see again without stretchmarks.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has spent her entire career in movies, bra commercials, and Maxim with her rack hanging out, doing her share to perpetuate the evil media’s image of female beauty. Last week, her fat ass was photographed in a bikini. Magically, she is now a champion of scrutinized women everywhere. At the New York Dolce & Gabbana fragrance launch party this week, the controversy caused several female celebrities to speak out. They told People:

Petra Nemcova: “There are different angles that everybody, even if you’re in great shape, can look bad in a photograph. And printing these images is definitely influencing people’s minds…It’s definitely good that she spoke out.”

Rosario Dawson: “They’ll make a whole story about it if someone gains 5 lbs…It makes me really nervous, because I don’t know how in the world we’re supposed to be that thin unless we’re totally starving and drugging up.”

Anne Hathaway: “[As an actress], most of the year, your body is your own. But to be ridiculed for it is upsetting…I don’t think women should only be defined by their bodies and their weight. It’s a cycle we’ve been in for some time, and I don’t really like it.”

All three of these chicks are skinny and hot, so I guess they were just trying to be nice. I applaud them because that can be hard to do when you’re perfect. I can relate. When I won my first “Best Achievement in Superman That Ho” award, I did my best to thank everyone involved. That’s right, I said first. Bitch, don’t hate!