NSFW - Fatback Media

Ok. Here’s the headline I woke up to today.

NFL Cheerleaders Arrested for Alleged Lesbian Sex in Bar Bathroom
According to the Observer, the police report
claims the two cheerleaders were having sex with each other in a stall
at the bar when other patrons got angry they were taking so long in the
bathroom.

Hmm. Where to start…where to start? Wait…there’s more.

Then one of the cheerleaders and another
person started arguing and the cheerleader hit that person in the face,
according to the report.

Witnesses say Angela Keathley and Renee
Thomas were engaged in some type of sexual activity inside a bathroom
stall at Banana Joe’s around 2:20 am Sunday. Another woman waiting to
use the bathroom got into an argument with the pair.

Police say Thomas punched the woman in the face. When Thomas was
arrested, she gave police the name of another Panthers cheerleader.

Wait. What? Hot cheerleader sex in a dirty bathroom that devolved into a girl fight then moved to  the county jail? That is the porn trifecta. Nothing I can say will ever top the fact that this happened in real life. These are the end of days my friend. I would get your affairs together.

UPDATE: It looks like the Panthers pulled their website this morning, or either its down due to bandwidth. I happened to grab a few images of the panther TopCats (cheerleaders). More after the jump.

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I know, I know…but for the three of you living in the burned out yellow Gran Torino [on cinder blocks with a coat hanger for a radio antenna] in the back lot of the old drive in who haven’t seen it… I give you the South Park Version of the Best Joke Ever Told. Enjoy. Obviously NSFW. Unless you use headphones or work in a strip club. In which case, I hate you.