NSFW – Fatback Media

Padma Lakshmi and controversial British author Salman Rushdie are getting a divorce. In case you missed it, because who gives a shit, Padma Lakshmi and Salman Rushidie got married in 2004. Salman Rushdie is the author of The Satanic Verses which caused a fatwa for his death to be issued by the Ayatollah Khomeini a while back and Padma Lakshmi is a model turned chef and tv host as well as the newly elected senator and former Queen of Naboo.

British author Salman Rushdie and his wife Padma Lakshmi, host of TV show “Top Chef,” are getting divorced, his spokeswoman said on Monday, just two weeks after he was awarded a controversial knighthood.

Rushdie, 60, is best known for his novel “The Satanic Verses,” which outraged many Muslims and sparked death threats that forced him to live in hiding for nine years.

He married Lakshmi, a former model born in 1970 in India, in 2004. She was his fourth wife and the couple had no children. (source)

Hm. Wonder why that didn’t work out? Padma Lakshmi is a smoking hot chef/model/tv host who looks like she could cook a mean curry right after stealing some documents from the embassy just in time to lie nude on the bearskin rug in front of the fire and Salman Rushdie looks like he would say “Jedi mind tricks don’t work on me…only money…”. This story would be boring except I love Indian food and nudity. And now Salman Rushdie nude. Except not.

Newsflash: Nicole is still skinny. Except now she might be not eating for two. Rumors are stirring that Nicole might be preggers.

Richie recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, reports Life and Style, which reports that the tests “confirmed she is pregnant.”

Richie’s rep didn’t respond to requests for comment from either L&S or The Scoop, but on May 30, the star was photographed at a reproductive clinic, and the mag quotes an “insider” as saying, “Nicole’s determined to get healthy for her own sake and the baby’s.” (source)

How is that even physiologically possible? I’m pretty sure in order to carry a baby, you need to have some percentage of body fat and Nicole’s -7% isn’t cutting it. Furthermore, who the fuck could be coked-out, booze saturated and/or have received enough blunt force trauma to bang that bag of bones?

Well, if she is pregnant then the baby could theoretically survive by eating Nicole’s entrails until it finally just rips its way out and goes after Ripley. Ease down, you’re just grinding transaxle.

UPDATE: The NY Post says she’s a fat fatty.

Someone give that girl some soul food. I mean, she’s been to Africa, and that’s the mother of all souls but girlfriend needs some sammies. I’ve got a cure for that flat ass and those bony arms; it’s called fried chicken and sweet potato pie. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s not that she isn’t gorgeous. She’s got that motherly glow, totally in-love, blood drinker thing going for her; it’s just that if you take away those 15 pounds of hair and 9 pound lips, you’re left with a skeleton with some gnarly tattoos in expensive shoes.

Here are a few pics of her the Oceans 13 premiere. Enjoy Angelina Skeletor at your own leisure.

{Ed. note: I don’t know Em, she still has her rack. Other than that she’s real fat fatty.-Fatback} 

Here’s Emily Scott at a Lipton Tea promo something or other looking bookishly hot. If there are two things I know a lot about, it’s hot women and iced tea. For example unsweetened tea is just wrong and you never mix tea with alcohol. I also know that putting a librarian outfit on and wearing glasses makes you 79.68% smarter, especially if your rack is hanging out. Scientific fact to 4 significant figures.

Speaking of iced tea: what the fuck is chai? Is it tea? Is it coffee? Everyone at Starbucks gets chai now and gives me that “Oh, you’re still drinking coffee? Why don’t you rape an orphaned, cripple with cancer you ASSHOLE?!” look when I order a latte. I just got used to being smug to Dunkin Donuts people and now I’m getting abuse from chai drinkers? Like I need this. More scientifically proven hotness from Emily Scott.