NSFW – Fatback Media

Emma Watson likes to party y’all. She and her other Harry Potter cast mates, Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe (all teenagers) have admitted to experimenting with smoking and drinking like other teenagers. They just do it behind closed doors.

Emma, 17, said: “You are careful not to do it in the public eye. You have your first cigarette or first glass of alcohol in a safe environment with your close friends – or you could be foolish and choose to do it in a London nightclub.” (source)

You gotta hand it to Emma here. First she doesn’t insult anyone’s intelligence by lying about experimentation, and she has the decorum to do it behind closed doors. (Well, except for that one time). Lindsay Lohan could use a lesson here. The point is, all teenagers experiment with sex, drugs, and alcohol. It’s just a normal part of adolescent socialization and a transition into the process of self discovery and actualization. It’s also a way to find out who the really slutty girls are in high school. True story. I’m a doctor.

And more hot teen images for you pervs. Reeeow, that Danny Radcliffe is smokin’ .

Someone give that girl some soul food. I mean, she’s been to Africa, and that’s the mother of all souls but girlfriend needs some sammies. I’ve got a cure for that flat ass and those bony arms; it’s called fried chicken and sweet potato pie. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s not that she isn’t gorgeous. She’s got that motherly glow, totally in-love, blood drinker thing going for her; it’s just that if you take away those 15 pounds of hair and 9 pound lips, you’re left with a skeleton with some gnarly tattoos in expensive shoes.

Here are a few pics of her the Oceans 13 premiere. Enjoy Angelina Skeletor at your own leisure.

{Ed. note: I don’t know Em, she still has her rack. Other than that she’s real fat fatty.-Fatback} 

Holy shit. By the power of Grayskull, Sienna Miller has some heroic nipples. They’re like two street fighters making their way through the crowded alleys of Shanghai, amidst the din of street vendors, laundry on clotheslines, mopeds, rickshaws and ninjas, battling their way to triad palace headquarters where they’ll finish off the big boss after a chase across the rooftops. That or her shirt is pretty thin. Whatever. I like the ninja story.

Rolling Stone’s June issue is set to feature Johnny Depp and Keith Richards, stars of the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Richards will be playing Cap’n Jack Sparrow’s (Depp) father.

It’s damn near typecasting, since Depp admits he used Richards as a model for the dreadlocked, mascaraed Jack. As Roger Ebert wrote, “Depp seems to be channeling a drunken drag queen, with his eyeliner and the way he minces ashore and slurs his dialogue ever so insouciantly.”

RS also insouciantly added:

Depp’s trailer is movie-star expansive and well swabbed with couches and wall tapestries, yet the joint also has the scary vibe of a voodoo lounge. After all, Richards, a certified wild card, recently told a Brit magazine that he was so close to his late dad, Bert, that he snorted his ashes with a bit of blow… Days earlier, [a] reporter earned the wrath of Keith for mistaking Richards’ famed skull ring for an Iggy Pop copy. The blunder led the rock icon to threaten the journalist with sodomy by banana.(source)

It’s no secret I have a weakness for badass rockstars with attitudes, so the news of Keith threatening sodomy by banana MADE MY FUCKING DAY. This story isn’t southern and it isn’t sexy, but it’s a riot. Not all celebrity gossip is filled with hot women with ginormous racks, you greedy bastards. Learn to appreciate the finer things in life, like fine wine, good music, strippers who accept checks and coked-out 60 year old rockstars.

And because I know you only come here for the gratuitous tit and ass shots, here’s some photos of ultra hot Karolina Kurkova. You can’t pronounce it, but you don’t need to. Kisses!

-Em.