NSFW - Fatback Media

Apparently, Miss USA Tara Conner, late of Miss USA-gate has eschewed the girl-on-girl and cocaina for some quieter digs for the holidays and entered a rehab clinic. [I guess she got a reprieve because there were no photos of her making out with Miss Teen USA or doing coke]. That should teach Miss Nevada, Katie Rees a lesson: If you’re going to get buck wild, don’t do it at a bar. Do it at my house. Rehab is for quitters.

Tarnished beauty-pageant tart Tara Conner won’t be having many debauched late nights – or fast guys to spend them with — at her latest home, the Caron Foundation rehab center in Pennsylvania. In fact, reports the New York Daily News, Tara will be in bed by 11 o’clock at night, up at 6:30 in the AM, and will be doing chores like mopping, cleaning and making her own bed, just like all the other attendees of the $24,000-per-day facility. (TMZ)

For $24,000.00 a day, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be mopping and making my own bed. Unless it was a magical golden mop. And my mattress was stuffed with $1000 dollar bills and the sheets were naked supermodels. God bless us every one. I know you’ve seen these before, but it’s the holdays! And what better time tom make yourself feel better than someone else?

PS. Those NSFW Katie Rees (Miss Nevada) pics are still up and ready for you to wish you were at that bar that night right here.

Happy Holidays to you sad muthafuckas that have to work this week. Here are some links to waste time when you’re not photocopying your ass.

• Laura Csortan in Ralph Magazine. She may be my new Marissa Miller. You decide! (Bastardly)
• Mary Kate Olsen is a river with. Burn her. (Yeeeah)
• Faith Hill on Santa’s lap. Santa has no pants. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Keith Urban and Nicole reunited because he escaped from rehab. Not really. (Bumpshack)
• Tara Reid. Teh Hawtness. (ICYDK)
• Maxim’s Top10 for 2006. (Gossip or Truth)

Nothing like a steel guitar to send me to my roots and warm my soul. And seeing as how I’m committed to highlighting Southern sexy gossip, here’s some quick CMA Award Red Carpet shots, y’all.

The Good

Gretchen Wilson is simple but damn hot. Redneck women unite!

The Bad

Is it feathers? Is it hair? It’s Laura Birna and it’s wrong.

The Ugly

Bombshell? Kind of a misnomer, huh? Is that a combover? I am so lost.

The Smokin Hot

Carrie Underwood could be dressed in a laundry basket with silly string in her hair and she’d still be the most adorable thing this side of Canada. Actually, that’d probably make her even cuter.

The Owned

Here’s Faith Hill, ever the gracious country lady, taking the news that she just lost out to an American Idol contestant.

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