NSFW – Fatback Media

Here’s Emily Scott at a Lipton Tea promo something or other looking bookishly hot. If there are two things I know a lot about, it’s hot women and iced tea. For example unsweetened tea is just wrong and you never mix tea with alcohol. I also know that putting a librarian outfit on and wearing glasses makes you 79.68% smarter, especially if your rack is hanging out. Scientific fact to 4 significant figures.

Speaking of iced tea: what the fuck is chai? Is it tea? Is it coffee? Everyone at Starbucks gets chai now and gives me that “Oh, you’re still drinking coffee? Why don’t you rape an orphaned, cripple with cancer you ASSHOLE?!” look when I order a latte. I just got used to being smug to Dunkin Donuts people and now I’m getting abuse from chai drinkers? Like I need this. More scientifically proven hotness from Emily Scott.

Emily Scott is Australian which means she’s hot and will get naked for almost no money at all. Based on my experience drinking Gold Coast ‘Rita’s from Outback Steakhouse and a quick trip to Wiki-shrimp on the barbie-Pedia, I’m an expert on nude Australian chicks. And chaize froiyze.

I met a girl from Australia once who told me that Aussie girls love to flash their tits. She said you could walk though Sydney and just yell at group of girls in the mall, “Hey Sheila lemme see yer tits“, and half of them would take off their shirt. The other half would stab you in the kidney with a large knife and eat a kangaroo with Vegemite. They do that, you know. Anyhoosits. Her name was Sheila and she showed me her tits, but it cost me a $100 dollars. Oh, she was a stripper. Did I mention that? LINKS!

• Teresa Palmer is Wonder Woman. Ans she’s smoking hot. (Gutter Bleed)
• Japanese girl with big tits gets a cab (Crave)
• Britney has narcolepsy or either whe a fat whore. (Yeeeah)
• Find a naked chick from your school. (CH)
• Monica Bellucci is still smokin’ hot. (Bastardly)
• Jenna Fischer nude in WIRED magazine for you fucking nerds. (GMMR)
• Anna Nicole cause o’ death revealed! It was dumb fuckin’ cracker disease. (INO)
• Sanjaya looks like Antonella Barba. ZING! I. CAN’T. BE. STOPPED. (Celebitchy)

NAKED!

I had no clue who this chick was or why someone took her picture at a premier for a movie that bombed. I found these images while doing an internet search for naked pictures of my new writer Emily and, well a great rack is a great rack. According to IMDB she’s been in exactly one show called “Celebrity Love Island”. Here’s the titillating description.

12 Z-list celebrity, famed in the UK for their sexual behavior, are being put together on a paradise island in Fiji where the viewers can see them hopefully copulate. The show is running in direct competition against C4’s Big Brother. Viewers vote on who they want removed from the island and when 2 are left (a male and female) the ‘couple’ receive a £50,000 [$94,000 USD] prize each. (source)

I never really watch reality tv because it is invariably contrived and not ‘real’ at all. The so-called reality is rarely more than lightly scripted vignettes that are no more convincing than a high school drama club trying to pull off Tennessee Williams. That said, a show where the main criterion for entry is being a whore, sounds like a show that might make my DVR list. The always reliable Wikipedia says that Emily is Australian and she is the official face of Lipton Iced Tea, which makes no sense whatsoever. But neither does the monkey I have with a string tied to his foot. He’s got ideas!