NSFW - Fatback Media

I’ve been drunk and naked for seven days straight. I smell like fire and I think there’s blood in my trunk. I have no idea what happened, but I think the 60 TB of digital images will tell the tale. I have no idea what’s going on in the world, and frankly I could give a shit. I need a shot of bourbon and some hotsauce or I think I’m going to die.

Here are some links to some sites that have a little more work ethic than me, which is why they probably get more traffic and have more reader loyalty. I’m trying to get my readership back up by making this more that just a site with chicks in bikinis and boobies and nip slips, so I’ve hired some new writers to write fair and balanced news items that have substance, journalistic merit and integrity. Nah, I’m just kidding. I got a bunch of hot chicks who like to wash cars in bikinis to weigh in on pop culture gossip. Because I rule.

More CSI nip slip action from Emily Proctor.

Sexy links from sites that actually take pride in their work.

• Bree Larson: Hot or not. Judge her you fool. (Bastardly)
• Megan Fox might be a self serving bitch who’s not really that hot, but I would still hit it. I have self esteem issues. (DS)
• I’m not trying to be pervy, but Emma Watson is pretty fucking hot. I bet she’d really like that new My Little Pony set. (Allie)
• Just a consistently funny time waster. With boobies. (EHOWA)
• Cute College Girl from my home state. She goes to Clemson so that means she’s slutty. But in a good way. (CH)
• Live Earth apparently happened? And I’m still clueless. (Yeeeah)
• Britney Spears is officially a hillbilly. Or is an “an” hillbilly? (IBBB)
• Megan Fox likes the cocaína , and she’s topless here. Not like you’d like, but damn fine anyway. (City rag)
• Second Annual Lizzie Awards. Britney won “biggest train wreck”. (WP)
• Jessica Simpson looks like she could kick a hole in the door of a ‘79 Cadillac Sedan Deville. Damn. (GoT)
• Anastacia has a huge rack and maybe a huge penis? (Glunp)
• Jack Nicholson. God damn. (SeriouslyOMG)
• Katharine Mcphee in Stuff magazine. (Bumpshack)
• Apparently some slag banged Pete Doherty and lived to tell about it. Blech. (Gossip Mamma)
• Kim Kardashian goes badonkadonk donk. (Celebrity Hubris)
• Speaking of sexy and southern this scantily clad hottie is one of my new sexy writers (Lennox Miller)

This is Emily Proctor form CSI Miami at the People Choice Awards last night where she was a presenter. I didn’t watch the awards because people suck and who gives a shit about their choices? I like my awards decided by old wrinkly Jewish guys living in oxygen tents in their Hollywood Hills Mansions. But I digress.

The interesting thing about this dress is how much of her breasts we can see without actually seeing anything. My neck hurts from trying to see into the side of my monitor. It’s kind of a tease.  Like those girls down south who will give you a handjob at a church picnic because they can repent right then and there and they’ll  do anal but won’t have sex because they want to save it for marriage. Wait did I say tease?  I meant that’s awesome. Church girls rock.

No, I am not implying, nor should you infer that sexy, southern Emily Proctor is the anti-Christ. I’m saying that all women are devils, duh. Sexy devils. Anyway, ’tis the season for friends, happiness and joy and all that shit. So here are some X-mas linX to get you all in the spirit of thingX.

• “Christmas Wishes from the Antichrist”. Check my new story over at Collegehumor.com and don’t forget to vote for it when you’re done. (College Humor)
• New Bastardly Jailbait Lady of the Day (Bastardly)
• Are you sexy and southern? Know someone who is? Or just wanted to pimp this site on your thong? But some X-mas gifts! (FB&C Store)
• Tara Reid. Drunk again. Redundant much? (Smart)
• Want good gadgets for cheap? Check out this totally unsolicited link. (BCD)
• The Jolie-Pitts look like the “it’s a small world” ride at Disney. (Tabloid Whore)
• More boobies with college names drunkenly scrawled on them. Sexy not trashy. For reals. (College humor)
• Pauly Shore is a faker. Idiot. (Celebslam)