Doutzen Kroes is exactly what I like in a supermodel. She’s young, unbelievably beautiful and that’s about that. I’m not very picky with my supermodels of course, they just need to be nude a lot and have a healthy appetite for cigarettes and coke – and lots of fuckin’. That may sound sexist and chauvinistic to you but, well actually it is, you judgmental whore. Now get back in the kitchen and cook me a turkey pot pie.