NSFW – Fatback Media

In a recent interview with GQ, Jake Gyllenhaal reveals to the ladies that he’s a “badassâ€? with a “dark side” so any potential girlfriends better rekkanize.

Women interested in the job should know, however, that the actor isn’t just your stereotypical sensitive guy – he also has a dark side, according to Robert Downey Jr., who stars with Gyllenhaal in the upcoming David Fincher thriller Zodiac.

“You could say he’s too sensitive for this industry,” Downey Jr. tells GQ. “That’s not even the right word. He’s clear. But he’s also a total badass. He and Steve McQueen would have gotten along amazingly. Guys who will do anything, anywhere.”

Playing into that “badass” characterization, Gyllenhaal tells GQ that he loves cooking, going to the farmers’ market and “sometimes what I actually love to do is go to a farm and get fresh milk or watch a pig get slaughtered.” (source)

First of all, Jake Gyllenhaal is about as badass as a kitten with ball of string. Second, I’m from the south and nobody drinks farm fresh milk anymore since we invented science. Third. There really is no third. I’m going go back out to put lipstick on my pig for the county fair, y’all. Yeehaw. Since Jake Gyllenhaal is not as hot as Josie Maran on a farm I have included these. QED

So I’m back. I know most of you have been weeping a silent requiem for us since we were ghosted into the machine by the always supportive Godaddy.com and a hot Russian chick named Tatyana. I assume she’s hot because she’s Russian and all Russian women who work for nudey magazines are hot. Anyway, Godaddy’s inability to hold their virtual liquor, notwithstanding (They disabled my database during peak time because the load was crashing their datacenter. Pussies.), someone complained about some images that I had on the site. And well, Godaddy did what is does best, tucked their tail and shut down the site without even a warning or giving me a chance to rectify the situation. I won’t go into all the details, but needless to say I moved to a new server and host and we should be five-by-five now. During the migration and the upgrades some hinkey things happened with the images on the single pages so I’ll either fix those or just leave them. OH, BTW. I invited Tatyana (the chick from the popular Men’s Magazine) to a Gmail account and asked if she would send me some royalty free topless photos of herself to post in place of the ones I had to delete. I’ll keep you posted. Thanks to all you hard core muthafuckas who helped me get back up and running and to all of you who sent in topless photos to ease my pain. Except that one dude with the three(?) nipples. Just weird man.

Spread ther greasy fatback love, y’all.

• Dita Von Teese sloppy cleavage from Jesus himself. (DS)
• Kelly Hu’s on first. With a see-thru top. ZING! (Subvert)
• April Scott in lingerie. Why doesn’t that rhyme with fingery? (Bastardly)
• Kurt Cobain was a shitty dad for about 2 seconds then he blew his brains out. Quitter. (Yeeeah)
• Scarlett Johansson is still hot. (Allie is wired sexy)
• K-Fed is crafty. Like Cheddar Cheese. (Cele|bitchy)
• Speaking of boobies. (College Humor)
• Check  out the CELEBRITY SEARCH ENGINE  (QuiteFamo.us)

Barely legal actress Evan Rachel Wood (19) is reportedly romantically involved with Marilyn Manson (38) and may be the cause of his breakup with professional whore burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese, 34.

“Dita is heartbroken, she didn’t see this coming,” says a source close to the burlesque dancer and MAC cosmetics model. “His partying contributed to the split as well.”Manson, 38, and Wood have been friends for some time…In addition, she posed for a watercolor that he painted, and attended the opening of his new Hollywood art gallery, the Celebritarian Corporation Gallery of Fine Art, last Halloween.

“It came as kind of a shock,” Wood told Rolling Stone about being asked to pose. “I was beyond flattered.” (source)

Holy shit. Creepy much? Evan Rachel Wood is cute and all, but she looks like she could be Lolita’s younger sister. I mean, I wouldn’t know whether to take off my pants or buy her a pink Trapper Keeper and give her a wine cooler. Get it? She actually dated Edward Norton for while before Manson so she’s obviously got a thing for older men who have a thing for really young girls who look really, really young. So I guess they’re not technically pervs. Kinda like how transvestites dress like girls so technically that means you’re not gay, right? Here is some fake jailbait. I know how you like your hard candy.