NSFW – Fatback Media

I’m not sure what Dita von Teese is into, but I bet I would like it. She seems like she’d do her best to make you cry; which is okay because she’s naked 99% of the time. And really every now and again I need to just let it all out. I’m not dead inside, you know.

Hope you all had a fun filled Easter Weekend celebrating the rabbit that lays chocolate eggs who brought that Jewish guy back from the dead, or whatever that’s all about. I just drank a lot and had sex fourteen times. Which is kinda the same thing. Paganism is the shit. Switching gears from religion to awww, aint that cute as a button, here’s Jessica Simpson, wearing a homemade dress frolicking with John Mayer on the beach in a totally non-staged day of fun in the sun overcast clouds.

LINKS!

• Totally sweet spoiler of the next Heroes Episode. Linderman is a hero too? (Heroes Forum)
• Dita Von Tease gets naked. Again. Never gets old, but GF needs some vitamin D. (DS)
• Avril Lavigne is a sell out. But I’m sure she’s totally hardcore on the inside. (Tasteful)
• Kirsten Dundst got dumped. SFW? (Yeeeah!)
• Jenna Haze drinks something ut I’m just staring at her rack. (Bastardly)
• Scarlett Johansson tries to un-whorify herself. (Bumpshack)
• Charlotte Church is a big black girl. (DListed)
• Celebrities smoking pot, for you fetishist. (City Rag)

Rose McGowan has always been one of those girls that remains an enigma to me. And it’s not because she’s faking the almost nip-slip here as she mugs for the cameras at ShoWest. It’s because she’s really hot, has a great rack and amazing DSL’s, but for some reason she let Marilyn Manson into her kit and he ruined all that. It’s like you had a puppy, all cute and innocent and took it to Tijuana, got it drunk, let a donkey fuck it then left it at the border with a hungry family.

I’m not saying the people would eat the puppy they’re just hungry, see? It’s an analogy. Ok. Maybe it’s not that good. I’m just saying I think Rose McGowan would let you pee on her, okay? So that has to count for something. LINKS!

• Video of Girl Flashing her tits for Jesus “Fellini” Martinez. (DS)
• Speaking of girls and boobies and videos…(CH)
• Wondering what happened to Hot Tina from Glitterati? She’s still making the boys cry. (Glitterati)
• Dina Lohan. BEST. SISTER. EVAH. (IBBB)
• Michael Lohan (Lindsay’s dad) is getting a reality series. Called “Wanna bang my daughter? Bring Vodka and a $2 bill” (Yeeeah)
• Heather Mills is a dirty one-legged criminal. And she’s NAKED! (IDLYITW)
• Duke choked on a choad. Check out the rest at Bumpshizzle. (BumpShack)
• Petra Nemcova saves the day. Please to bring with eastern european sexiness, please. (Hollywood Tuna)

In a recent interview with GQ, Jake Gyllenhaal reveals to the ladies that he’s a “badassâ€? with a “dark side” so any potential girlfriends better rekkanize.

Women interested in the job should know, however, that the actor isn’t just your stereotypical sensitive guy – he also has a dark side, according to Robert Downey Jr., who stars with Gyllenhaal in the upcoming David Fincher thriller Zodiac.

“You could say he’s too sensitive for this industry,” Downey Jr. tells GQ. “That’s not even the right word. He’s clear. But he’s also a total badass. He and Steve McQueen would have gotten along amazingly. Guys who will do anything, anywhere.”

Playing into that “badass” characterization, Gyllenhaal tells GQ that he loves cooking, going to the farmers’ market and “sometimes what I actually love to do is go to a farm and get fresh milk or watch a pig get slaughtered.” (source)

First of all, Jake Gyllenhaal is about as badass as a kitten with ball of string. Second, I’m from the south and nobody drinks farm fresh milk anymore since we invented science. Third. There really is no third. I’m going go back out to put lipstick on my pig for the county fair, y’all. Yeehaw. Since Jake Gyllenhaal is not as hot as Josie Maran on a farm I have included these. QED