NSFW - Fatback Media

I’m not sure what Dita von Teese is into, but I bet I would like it. She seems like she’d do her best to make you cry; which is okay because she’s naked 99% of the time. And really every now and again I need to just let it all out. I’m not dead inside, you know.

Hope you all had a fun filled Easter Weekend celebrating the rabbit that lays chocolate eggs who brought that Jewish guy back from the dead, or whatever that’s all about. I just drank a lot and had sex fourteen times. Which is kinda the same thing. Paganism is the shit. Switching gears from religion to awww, aint that cute as a button, here’s Jessica Simpson, wearing a homemade dress frolicking with John Mayer on the beach in a totally non-staged day of fun in the sun overcast clouds.

LINKS!

• Totally sweet spoiler of the next Heroes Episode. Linderman is a hero too? (Heroes Forum)
• Dita Von Tease gets naked. Again. Never gets old, but GF needs some vitamin D. (DS)
• Avril Lavigne is a sell out. But I’m sure she’s totally hardcore on the inside. (Tasteful)
• Kirsten Dundst got dumped. SFW? (Yeeeah!)
• Jenna Haze drinks something ut I’m just staring at her rack. (Bastardly)
• Scarlett Johansson tries to un-whorify herself. (Bumpshack)
• Charlotte Church is a big black girl. (DListed)
• Celebrities smoking pot, for you fetishist. (City Rag)

Rose McGowan has always been one of those girls that remains an enigma to me. And it’s not because she’s faking the almost nip-slip here as she mugs for the cameras at ShoWest. It’s because she’s really hot, has a great rack and amazing DSL’s, but for some reason she let Marilyn Manson into her kit and he ruined all that. It’s like you had a puppy, all cute and innocent and took it to Tijuana, got it drunk, let a donkey fuck it then left it at the border with a hungry family.

I’m not saying the people would eat the puppy they’re just hungry, see? It’s an analogy. Ok. Maybe it’s not that good. I’m just saying I think Rose McGowan would let you pee on her, okay? So that has to count for something. LINKS!

• Video of Girl Flashing her tits for Jesus “Fellini” Martinez. (DS)
• Speaking of girls and boobies and videos…(CH)
• Wondering what happened to Hot Tina from Glitterati? She’s still making the boys cry. (Glitterati)
• Dina Lohan. BEST. SISTER. EVAH. (IBBB)
• Michael Lohan (Lindsay’s dad) is getting a reality series. Called “Wanna bang my daughter? Bring Vodka and a $2 bill” (Yeeeah)
• Heather Mills is a dirty one-legged criminal. And she’s NAKED! (IDLYITW)
• Duke choked on a choad. Check out the rest at Bumpshizzle. (BumpShack)
• Petra Nemcova saves the day. Please to bring with eastern european sexiness, please. (Hollywood Tuna)

In a recent interview with GQ, Jake Gyllenhaal reveals to the ladies that he’s a “badassâ€? with a “dark side” so any potential girlfriends better rekkanize.

Women interested in the job should know, however, that the actor isn’t just your stereotypical sensitive guy – he also has a dark side, according to Robert Downey Jr., who stars with Gyllenhaal in the upcoming David Fincher thriller Zodiac.

“You could say he’s too sensitive for this industry,” Downey Jr. tells GQ. “That’s not even the right word. He’s clear. But he’s also a total badass. He and Steve McQueen would have gotten along amazingly. Guys who will do anything, anywhere.”

Playing into that “badass” characterization, Gyllenhaal tells GQ that he loves cooking, going to the farmers’ market and “sometimes what I actually love to do is go to a farm and get fresh milk or watch a pig get slaughtered.” (source)

First of all, Jake Gyllenhaal is about as badass as a kitten with ball of string. Second, I’m from the south and nobody drinks farm fresh milk anymore since we invented science. Third. There really is no third. I’m going go back out to put lipstick on my pig for the county fair, y’all. Yeehaw. Since Jake Gyllenhaal is not as hot as Josie Maran on a farm I have included these. QED

So I’m back. I know most of you have been weeping a silent requiem for us since we were ghosted into the machine by the always supportive Godaddy.com and a hot Russian chick named Tatyana. I assume she’s hot because she’s Russian and all Russian women who work for nudey magazines are hot. Anyway, Godaddy’s inability to hold their virtual liquor, notwithstanding (They disabled my database during peak time because the load was crashing their datacenter. Pussies.), someone complained about some images that I had on the site. And well, Godaddy did what is does best, tucked their tail and shut down the site without even a warning or giving me a chance to rectify the situation. I won’t go into all the details, but needless to say I moved to a new server and host and we should be five-by-five now. During the migration and the upgrades some hinkey things happened with the images on the single pages so I’ll either fix those or just leave them. OH, BTW. I invited Tatyana (the chick from the popular Men’s Magazine) to a Gmail account and asked if she would send me some royalty free topless photos of herself to post in place of the ones I had to delete. I’ll keep you posted. Thanks to all you hard core muthafuckas who helped me get back up and running and to all of you who sent in topless photos to ease my pain. Except that one dude with the three(?) nipples. Just weird man.

Spread ther greasy fatback love, y’all.

• Dita Von Teese sloppy cleavage from Jesus himself. (DS)
• Kelly Hu’s on first. With a see-thru top. ZING! (Subvert)
• April Scott in lingerie. Why doesn’t that rhyme with fingery? (Bastardly)
• Kurt Cobain was a shitty dad for about 2 seconds then he blew his brains out. Quitter. (Yeeeah)
• Scarlett Johansson is still hot. (Allie is wired sexy)
• K-Fed is crafty. Like Cheddar Cheese. (Cele|bitchy)
• Speaking of boobies. (College Humor)
• Check  out the CELEBRITY SEARCH ENGINE  (QuiteFamo.us)

Barely legal actress Evan Rachel Wood (19) is reportedly romantically involved with Marilyn Manson (38) and may be the cause of his breakup with professional whore burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese, 34.

“Dita is heartbroken, she didn’t see this coming,” says a source close to the burlesque dancer and MAC cosmetics model. “His partying contributed to the split as well.”Manson, 38, and Wood have been friends for some time…In addition, she posed for a watercolor that he painted, and attended the opening of his new Hollywood art gallery, the Celebritarian Corporation Gallery of Fine Art, last Halloween.

“It came as kind of a shock,” Wood told Rolling Stone about being asked to pose. “I was beyond flattered.” (source)

Holy shit. Creepy much? Evan Rachel Wood is cute and all, but she looks like she could be Lolita’s younger sister. I mean, I wouldn’t know whether to take off my pants or buy her a pink Trapper Keeper and give her a wine cooler. Get it? She actually dated Edward Norton for while before Manson so she’s obviously got a thing for older men who have a thing for really young girls who look really, really young. So I guess they’re not technically pervs. Kinda like how transvestites dress like girls so technically that means you’re not gay, right? Here is some fake jailbait. I know how you like your hard candy.