I had never heard of her but, apparently Sara Evans is a country music singer who recently appeared on Dancing with the Stars. I say apparently, because I don’t listen to country music and I don’t watch DWTS. The only reason I know about her because she is currently going though a messy divorce that involves two things I do know a lot about: Porn and naked pictures. Sara Evans accused her best friend and nanny Alison Clinton of sleeping with her husband. If you’re interested, here’s some background, if not then skip to the pictures of Sara’s MILFy great rack.

Alison’s husband spoke out on Tuesday about the toll the scandal is taking on his wife, who is currently down to a dangerous 79 pounds.

“When I took those vows, I said for better, for worse,” Clinton’s husband, Chris Lee, said.

Lee also told “Extra’s” Carlos Diaz that his marriage is stronger than ever, but he warned his wife about suffering a relapse.(source)

The point of the whole story is not whether or not her husband banged the nanny or whether or not he has naked pictures of himself posted on Craig’s list browsing for “three party sex” and “anal sex”. Because, of course he banged the nanny who at best was so insanely jealous of her friend that she slept with her husband and developed a Münchhausen-esque case of anorexia just in time for the cameras. Southern girls are crafty like that. Be careful if you marry one. If you are married to one, take another look at your wedding album to see if anyone one in the wedding party is smiling. If it’s not you, chances are your wife just blew him. Congratulations, dumbass.

A lot has been going on this week and my crack team of slaves writers is working on some blistering stories for your sexy southern perusal. I was in New York City the past couple of days promoting Sexy Southernness™ to a bevy of hot PR and Marketing execs. If there’s anything I’ve learned about the marketing industry it’s that you get a VP title when you walk in the door and all the chicks are hot. But I digress.

Stacy Keibler hasn’t been making headlines lately, meaning she hasn’t been high kicking her way into the hearts and minds of red blooded Americans while wearing little more than a scarf tied around chest. That’s American pride people. Every time Stacy Keibler did a high kick on Dancing with The Stars, a Taliban terrorist was tortured and killed by the CIA. She’s just that good. Again, digressing…

The point of this post is that Stacy Keibler should fire her publicist for letting her out in public in this dress. She might as well be going to an Amish dance. All she needs is a butter churn. Wait, that sounds kind of sexy. ANYWAY. I prefer Stacy in nothing but skin and a small amount of cotton. And not in the Hannibal Lecter way. The sexy way.

Amish = Not sexy.

Not Amish = Sexy.

Kristy Swanson, 36, and Canadian skating champion Lloyd Eisler, 42 became the winning pair on TV’s Skating with Celebrities, Eislers then- pregnant wife Marcie was stunned to learn the two had also became a pair off of the ice. Now rumors are flying Kristy may be pregnant, too!

A source says, “She was wearing a tight black dress, and everyone thought she was pregnant.”(source)

Kristy Swanson has always been hot and she continues to get hotter. In the Buffy days she was California-girl-next-door hot, in the late ’90’s she was desperate career in the tank so she made some Charlie Sheen straight video movies with brief nudity hot. Then she was 21st century, early 30’s so it’s okay to pose in Playboy hot. Now she can add desperate to revive career, homewrecker hot. Mmm, homewrecker.