NSFW – Fatback Media

Jessica Simpson attributes failed marriage to Nick when he did not attend a charity trip in Africa in October 2005.

“I went there on our three-year wedding anniversary,” she tells Jane magazine for its November issue. “He stayed home”

Simpson was part of a travel contingent representing Operation Smile, a not-for-profit, volunteer medical services organization that provides reconstructive facial surgery to indigent children in remote areas.

Although Simpson and Lachey had both been presented with the organization’s Universal Smile Award at a Los Angeles Gala, Simpson ended up traveling to Nakuru, Kenya, with hairdresser Ken Paves, friend Cacee Cobb and her manger-father, Joe Simpson. (source)

In the land of WTF, picture me wearing a tutu, a hockey jersey and holding an assault rifle. That makes as much sense as traveling to Africa on your three-year anniversary with hairdresser in tow. Or maybe it’s offering plastic surgery to children who would probably benefit more from clean water than a “beauty mark” a la Cindy Crawford. Why are we still stewing over the breakup slash divorce almost a year after the fact anyway? Jessica could have caught Nick in compromising positions with a frozen turkey on the bathroom floor and I still wouldn’t give a fuck (although I would definitely google the photos). There’s more interesting news brewing lately. Like how am I gonna explain my recent trip to the clinic to my HMO? Real problems, real world, people! Here’s more of Jessica doing her best to not hide her boobtastic cleavage.

Who even knows what that means? That’s Jaime Pressly, who’s hotter than a gasoline fueled barnfire. She’s so hot and country that I should write a country song about her. Except, I just want to bang her, not spend a whole lotta time singing about how she makes my truck smell better when she rides with me or that she shouldn’t cheat on me with my brother because he has kids. She just got married to someone, somewhere and I care so little that I’m not even going to link to it. Google it. But I bet you’d rather see her naked so I Googled that. (NSFW) Here’s what’s happening around the block.

• Gabriela Spanic has more left boob than Nicole Ritchie has body mass. I calculated it. I’m that fucking smart. (Bastardly)
• Sharon Stone…cougarlicious. Whatever. You’d hit it. (Yeeeah!)
• Kate Hudson in some wet girl on girl action. (IDLYITW)
• Back up in that Pajiba with the resurrection. (Pajiba)
• I would say that Jamie Lyn Sigler was getting a little J in the T. But I don’t want to get whacked. Plus, I like lil’ juice in the caboose. (Subvert)
• Keeley Hazel and her perfectly shaped, lingerie covered breasts. (Hollywood Tuna)
• Most of the boobies on this site (FB&C) (NSFW, you big dummy)
• Lindsay Lohan is all kinds of fucked up (Drunken Stepfather)

Happy weekend. Holla back.

Omarosa recently underwent plastic surgery for breast enhancement and she’s more than happy to speak out about the details.

No matter how obvious the change, most celebs try to keep their plastic surgery top secret. But not former Apprentice contestant Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth! The 32-year-old reality-show villain was happy to tell Star all about her recent boob job, which she underwent in March as part of the Discovery Channel’s new show, Plastic Surgery Before and After.

“I did it this way to avoid speculation,” she tells Star. “I’ve seen people be dishonest about it. Little girls will try to emulate them and don’t know they’ve gotten breast augmentations, Botox, and this and that.” (source)

Now that’s just irritating. Omarosa can get a fucking article in Star, and I can’t even get employment with Hooters. And mine are real, damnit! I’m considering calling my senator for support because my application didn’t warrant a return phone call. I learned every god damn wing sauce they had from turbo to mild, knew all the beers and everything. I even showed up for interview at the manager’s condo wearing nothing but fishnets and a smile to give him his deep tissue massage [with release]. Shit. Maybe I’m really porn star. I’m no whore! I’m an actress.

Holy shit. What a way to start the day. I had know idea who the fuck Rachel Zoe was when she scared the shit out of me in this photo. Bitch. Apparently, she’s the hot stylist to stars like Portia de Rossi and Jennifer Garner. Alias is a ‘show’ about a spy. This chick’s been rode hard and put away wet. Stylist? Yeah, if your style is ‘broken down gas station car wash with dead a cat caught in the gears’. But I don’t suppose everyone can be as youthful, healthy and vivacious as I. I’m pretty sure she won’t win the Suck-Bang-Blow Bike Rally wet t-shirt contest 2 years in row. Just sayin’. Eat your heart out, Rachel! Mmmwah!
-Emily