NSFW – Fatback Media

I’m not what you’d call a style critic, but I am absolutely sure that’s the worst dress ever made. The person that designed it apparently hates beautiful women with sexy curves. Oh, this dress has curves, but in all the wrong spots. It’s really kind of mean. Even in a bad dress which obviously was designed to carry pork loins in the mid-section, Scarlett Johansson’s rack is the star of the show. Her breasts are like the human spirit. Even in the darkest hour they shine through reminding us all that there is still hope. There is still hope.

Hey y’all. It’s Halloween, my favorite holiday and it’s time for the 1st annual FB&C Celebrity Halloween Costume Contest. Our panel of expert judges, mostly consisting of me, have reviewed the top celebrity costumes this year and we have decided on the winner. We’d like to thank the celebrities for all the really inspired costumes this year. We can’t say for sure, but from the look of things, most of our contestants planned out their costumes tens of minutes before leaving the house. Sweet! Here are the contestants. Continue after the jump.

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This is Majandra Delfino wearing a see through, tattered wife-beater to a red carpet event. I had never heard of her before I saw the pictures, but apparently she was on a show on the ultra-not-watched WB network. I heard that she’s like a meaner, hotter, trashy younger version of Scarlett Johansson. I actually heard that just now when I said it. She’s probably one of those girls that gets really mad at you when you have sex like it’s a street fight. Which usually ends up with you crying in the shower in a pool of blood and hair wondering why the phone cord is ripped out of the wall and the windows are spray painted black.
I was feeling kinda pervy when I posted these because she looks like she’s in the 9th grade, but it turns out that she’s actually older than Scarlett so I can skip the cilice for today.

So yeah, it’s another link post. Well, I’ve been protecting the world from ambulance chasing scalawag attorneys for 2 days so I had to lie low. I’m back and so is the FB&C sexy crew. Check out these links while we put together today’s sexiness.

• Britney Spears had a hermaphrodite child with cloven feet and a tail. Not really. (Cele|bitchy)
• Anna Nicole admitted that her baby’s father was really a subject that I don’t give a fuck about. Here’s a clue. If you have to wonder which of several men is the father of your baby, there’s a good chance that you are a whore. (TMZ)
• Nicole Ritchie upskirt. If.You. Dare. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Paulina Rubio in Latin FHM. You can masturbate in SPANISH! (Bastardly)
• Rich actors get together to protest issues that they don’t understand because their million dollar view of the sea might get obscured. Children can starve, but fuck you if you want to put a wind farm in my ocean and save the planet. Facist whores. (Yeeeah)
• Rachel Hunter to join a reality show…yaawn. Whaa..? What happened? (Smart)
• Kirsten Dunst leaving her lair for a night of feeding on mortals. (ICYDK)
• Jessica Simpson reads poetry on the Rachel Ray show. I can hear the fabric of sace time ripping. Save yourselves. (Gossip or truth)

So why the picture of Sara Evans? Because she’s a sexy, southern MILF with a great rack. Plus she’s embroiled in a who’s-cheatin’-who [sic] pornography scandal and I just may have fallen in love with her.