NSFW - Fatback Media » Current Affairs

K-Fed, Super Dad

Fatback — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 12:05:28 +0000

In an interesting turn of events, K-Fed is giving Britney a good kick in the balls sheâ€™s grown. Donâ€™t tell me she doesnâ€™t have them. Any chick who shaves her head has a set hidden somewhere.

K-Fed Up should be his new moniker. He is sick and tired of his Exâ€™s stupidity and believes the kids would be better off with him. I say, good for him. Take your kids from the crazy bitch! Cracking into cars, giving the paparazzi crotch shots (which Fatback loves, ya know), and doing only god knows what the fuck all else, surely isnâ€™t the example you want for your kids.

I never thought I would see the day when I thought K-Fed was a stand up parent, but hey, hell does freeze over occasionally it seems. ‘Course he could just be in it for the money.

As we first reported, K-Fed is going back to court asking for more custody of the kids. Federline just agreed to a 50/50 split. Then, he turned around almost immediately and filed papers asking for 70/30. So why such a sudden change of heart? (source)

It sucks that even in todayâ€™s courts you have judges who think the mother is the perfect one for the kids. Not so. Plenty of hot men out there who are excellent fathers. No, I have no clue what the fuck their hotness has to do with it, but damn, I like me some beefalicious daddy.

Alright, catch you later, got to recharge the batteries to the Venus.

These aren’t new, but neither is Britney Spears’ Schadenfruede.

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Fuck. You.

Fatback — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 20:19:51 +0000

Holy Darwin’s dick, what the fuck? This dog looks like a god damn super villain. That dog is on the juice. I know this doesn’t qualify as snarky celebrity hating or the normal T/A you get here but I had to share this. Because I’m pretty sure it’s one of the signs of the apocalypse. Meet Wendy the most muscular Whippet in the universe.

She was born with a genetic defect which has left her looking like the Incredible Hulk of Hounds.

While her head, heart, lungs and legs are the size of those of a normal whippet, her gene defect means she is “double muscled”. She weighs 4st4lb [60 lbs] – twice as much as she should…” (source)(via)

That’s the coolest dog I’ve ever seen. She looks like she could run 200 mph and bite through a car. Who would fuck with you if you walked down the street with this dog? You could be all, “Don’t make my dog bite your arm off and fly to your house and eat your mom”. SHE WILL FUCKING DO IT, MAN. More Wendy and her ‘roided out body.

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Better Than… I told you so. PWN3D.

Fatback — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:00:18 +0000

Well, well, well. Looks like the queen of the bloggers is getting his comeuppance after all. We’re having a huge party right now complete with a photoshop contest of the best/worst celebrity bloggers. I’m drunk. See what’s happening on the other side of the tracks.

Perez Hilton sued for copyright infringement, misuse of copyrighted material and for being a suck-up bastard that may ruin it for all of us. Well that last one I made up, but I’m pretty sure it’s a law. Call me esquire. (yeeeah)
Holy shit. Eddie Murphy is back for Beverly Hills Cop IV. Allo, Acquelle, my naime is Seeergzhe. (Glitterati)
Oh. BTW. Perez Hilton is getting sued for 7.5 million in case you were wondering. (Drunken Stepfather)
Christina Applegate. Still hot. Still hairy. Which is no prob for me, I like em swarthy. (Bastardly)
Lindsay Lohan is still a bitch. (INO)
New details about Pam/Kid Rock divorce. Yawn. (Gossip or truth)
Pulp Fiction: The short version. Faster than you can say Maxi-pad. (College Humor)

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Nicole Richie Still Skinny

Fatback — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 17:09:28 +0000

Ok, it’s the holidays and things are slow so I’m going through the posting queue and pulling out some also-rans. Enjoy the stale news bitches.

Repeat after me: Nicole Richie was not in rehab. She was in rehab, wasn’t she?

Nicole Richie wants to clear the air once and for all!

An eyewitness tells Life & Style that the skinny starlet, who had reportedly gone into rehab to seek help for her weight, marched up to gossip blogger Perez Hilton today at LA’s Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and insisted to him: “I was NOT in rehab! Everyone was wrong. I did not go to rehab.” (source)

While probably laden with swimming pools, tennis courts, caviar and movie stars, I’m still pretty sure that building is considered an institution. And your seminar on ‘how to eat more than 6 raisins’ is probably considered therapy. And your 78-pound frame is almost certainly considered to be the cause of an eating disorder. I’m not a doctor, but I have watched several episodes of Grey’s Anatomy so I’m quite sure that qualifies me to make these judgments. Now I’m off to eat a cheeseburger (extra mayo!) while watching my “stories”. Here are some pictures of April Scott a woman who knows what curves are supposed look like.

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Better than…WTF? Another link post?

Fatback — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 18:05:08 +0000

Yeah, well sorry about the link post but, it’ll have to do for a few hours while I figure out how hack the new server we’re on. Can’t really say much, but I think I figured out that we’re all really asleep. I’ll get back to you on that. Speaking of getting back. I heard from Emily and and she’s still at it. She said she was on vacation, but I think she started some kind of underground sexual fight club for FB&C. Lately, recently injured strangers are calling me sir on the street and giving me the good tables in restaurants. I hope that I’m not really a chick who does battle with her foes at night. Where would I put my elephant like penis? Maybe that’s why my taint has duct tape burns. I gotta go. I think I need to have a little talk with “Miss Emily”.

Alyson Hannigan multi-tasks. I can’t figure out if she’s cuter as Willow or Lily. Maybe if Lily was a witch? (Bastardly)
Paris Hilton is no Bond girl. Beetlejuice girl? Maybe. (Yeeeah)
Pamela Anderson on Jimmy Kimmel. (Celebrity Smack)
Katie Holmes spent 3K on lingerie. For whom, I wonder? (Subvert)
Kellie Pickler was abused by her mommy. Yeah, well who wasn’t. We’ve all got scars sister. (I’m not obsessed)

Sweet. Two movie ref’s in one post. I rule. I know.

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