NSFW – Fatback Media

Christina Aguilera recently told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that she and husband Jordan Bratman keep their marriage spicy by being entirely naked on Sundays.

“We have something called naked Sundays.”

“Excuse me?” DeGeneres asks. “Did you say naked Sundays?”

“You have to keep marriage alive, spice it up,” says Aguilera, admitting that some added heat is required even though the two have only been married for “a big whole year.”

“[In November] we just celebrated our first anniversary, and on Sundays we just do everything in the house, and we’re just cozy and laid back,” she says. “We don’t need to go anywhere, we’re just with each other.” We do everything naked. We cook naked.” (source)

That is simultaneously the best and worst news I have ever heard. On one hand you have Christina Aguilera frolicking naked like a pixie witch in defiance of the Lord and the Sabbath, and on the other hand she’s getting man handled the whole time by a ham fisted creature from middle earth. It’s a heart-rending dichotomy- that at once personifies true beauty and true evil – which unceasingly burdens your soul. Kinda like feeling razor stubble when that hot chick you met at the cowboy bar goes down on you. Here’s Christina at Hyde on Puxatawny Phil Day.

Nothing like a good catfight to get the day started off right. Except it’s closing time and there really wasn’t a catfight to speak of. That’s why I have a picture of Diora Baird. Non sequitur to follow non sequitur. There is order in chaos and entropy follows distinct patterns. I think I can see the future baby!

• Kim Kardashian has a giant rack..oh and she does some stuff. (Bastardly)
• Renee Zellweger misses the golden ratio by the value of Plank’s constant. (Yeeeah)
• Ricky Schroeder will be on this season of 24. He and Jack Bauer will ride that little train through his living room and get into adventures! (Socialite’s Life)
• Britney wears panties this week. Jesus showed me the way. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Gwyneth Paltrow foams more clotted cream. Those Brits and their rich history. Sigh. (Bumpshack)
• Uma Thurman is 6 foot tall and full o’ muscles. (Smart)
• Van Wilder – Part crap: eruditely, disparately, twice-reviewed by Dustin Rowles. (Pajiba)
• Lindsay Lohan: Cherokee Indian. All ends in tears my friends. (ICYDK)
• Witness the mastery of the Michelangelo of MS Paint (College Humor)

While I figure out the rest of life’s answers feel free to browse more of Diora Baird Naked. I run a tight ship here folks.

Besides being the longest titled post I have ever written, this has all the makings of my favorite post ever. Or at least today. It has Scarlett Johannson, Natalie Portman and Christina Aguilera all in the same room. And there’s the possibility of a cat fight. So go ahead make the rrreeeow sound and make a scratchy claw motion with your hand. The Sun UK has this vernacular laden post. Try to say the whole thing your best east London accent. It’s fun!

I RECKON pop vixen CHRISTINA AGUILERA should record a cover of It’s My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To.The singer had a face like thunder as she stormed out of her own 1920s-themed aftershow party at London’s Paper club on Thursday night.

And there was a good reason for the Dirrty looks. Aggy was far from pleased when Hollywood stars NATALIE PORTMAN and SCARLETT JOHANSSON stole the limelight at the bash after her sell-out Wembley gig.

The party-loving pair rocked up in the wee small hours and plonked themselves down beside her in the VIP area.
Furious Aggy gave them a killer stare and turned her back before bailing out soon after, leaving them to rule the dancefloor.

The gorgeous gatecrashers stayed until the bitter end then snuck out with jumpers over their heads to hide their bleary eyes from snappers like true party professions.

Looks like we’ve got new challengers in the Caners League . . .(source)

Wait what? All I got from that besides the haphazard ‘ctrl-B‘ usage was Scarlett and Natalie, Texas A&M and a turtle. What the fuck is a caner?

Here are a couple of pics from the Wembly show with some extras thrown in.

Hey y’all. It’s Halloween, my favorite holiday and it’s time for the 1st annual FB&C Celebrity Halloween Costume Contest. Our panel of expert judges, mostly consisting of me, have reviewed the top celebrity costumes this year and we have decided on the winner. We’d like to thank the celebrities for all the really inspired costumes this year. We can’t say for sure, but from the look of things, most of our contestants planned out their costumes tens of minutes before leaving the house. Sweet! Here are the contestants. Continue after the jump.

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