NSFW - Fatback Media » Charlotte Church

Better than rising from the dead for Easter Dinner

Fatback — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 16:05:17 +0000

Hope you all had a fun filled Easter Weekend celebrating the rabbit that lays chocolate eggs who brought that Jewish guy back from the dead, or whatever that’s all about. I just drank a lot and had sex fourteen times. Which is kinda the same thing. Paganism is the shit. Switching gears from religion to awww, aint that cute as a button, here’s Jessica Simpson, wearing a homemade dress frolicking with John Mayer on the beach in a totally non-staged day of fun in the ~~sun~~ overcast clouds.

LINKS!

Totally sweet spoiler of the next Heroes Episode. Linderman is a hero too? (Heroes Forum)
Dita Von Tease gets naked. Again. Never gets old, but GF needs some vitamin D. (DS)
Avril Lavigne is a sell out. But I’m sure she’s totally hardcore on the inside. (Tasteful)
Kirsten Dundst got dumped. SFW? (Yeeeah!)
Jenna Haze drinks something ut I’m just staring at her rack. (Bastardly)
Scarlett Johansson tries to un-whorify herself. (Bumpshack)
Charlotte Church is a big black girl. (DListed)
Celebrities smoking pot, for you fetishist. (City Rag)

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Charlotte Church Sings Drunk at Secret Show

Fatback — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 16:03:39 +0000

British singer, Charlotte Church made the news last night when she surprised a crowd of bar patrons at a a Broadband Company’s launch party with a free concert. She was reportedly quite good, but quite drunk.

Charlotte Church treated 100 fans to a secret concert in London last night (07.06.06).

The ‘Crazy Chick’ singer – who staged the show to promote the launch of Orange Broadband – belted out her a selection of her hits before being whisked away by security guards.

She told the crowd at trendy Soho bar Two2Much: “I’m absolutely knackered but so pleased to be here. Have fun, drink as much as you can… and tomorrow morning you’ll feel just like I do now.”

Meanwhile, Charlotte is still celebrating after being named UK Solo Artist of the Year by Britain’s Glamour magazine.

Collecting the award on Tuesday night (06.06.06), Church – who was wearing a layered Marilyn Monroe-style dress – told guests: “I feel like an asshole because I look like I’m on top of a fucking cake.”(source)

My funny talking British friends tell me that knackered means completely drunk in the UK. (They also told me that a fanny pack was something entirely different in the UK too, but that’s a story for another day). So, Charlotte Church has gone from teenaged opera prodigy, singing sacred music to foul-mouthed sexy drunk. She’s everything that’s wrong with our society and our obsession with fame and pop culture and I couldn’t be more in love with her right now. I am the devil.

UPDATE: So, lovely Kat from the UK gave me the lowdown on knackered. It really means exhausted or really tired and not drunk. My version is sexier but what can you do? Those Brits and their cute little accents! Now, can we discuss seeing that fanny?

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Charlotte Church wants a piece of Pink

Fatback — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 18:18:30 +0000

British opera singer Charlotte Church is reportedly lashing out at Pink after she made some disparaging comments about her boyfriend. The voluptuous singer intimated that the insults were nothing more that a publicity stunt for Pink’s new album.

Charlotte Church has hit back at Pink after the singer recently slammed her boyfriend, Welsh rugby ace Gavin Henson, as “extremely vain”.

Just Like Pill singer Pink accused Henson of commanding a cameraman to show his face on the monitor so he could see “how good” he looked when they met on British TV’s Friday Night With Jonathan Ross show.

But Church says, “She’s desperate for PR, what with her new album.

“I think she said it because Gav turned down an offer to be in her next video.

“We were stunned because after the show, she posed for pictures with him and gave him loads of her CDs. Why do that if she didn’t like him?”.(source)

First of all, what? Who is Gavin Henson? Why were Pink and Charlotte Church even talking? Charlotte is all PBS and Pink is all Public Access. I think that they should fight it out. At my house. Naked. No blades allowed. I’ll have to say though, that I think Pink can probably kick Charlotte’s ass, but then again, she could probably kick my ass.

Charlotte Church is one of the few child performers that has successfully passed from jalbait to full-on woman with all her curves intact and junk securely stowed in the trunk. She’s got just the right ratio of lady lumps vs. badonkadonk. I like my women well fed.

More images of Charlotte after the jump. Some are NSFW!

UPDATE: Thanks to Brian for reminding me once again that I can’t type for shit and I need a copy editor.

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