NSFW – Fatback Media

According to friends family and even Dr. Phil, Britney Spears may be bipolar. Which may explain her erratic behavior over the last 2, 5, 10 years.

Two separate sources who are acquaintances of the family believe the singer has never been formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but “there is no question she is bipolar … she’s had manic episodes for years.”  (source)

There are two things that cause bipolar disorder (or bipolar mania as it is termed in the psychological journals).

1. Jack
2. Shit

Bipolar Mania is a made up term used to sell prescription medication to rich teenagers who act up and get labeled misunderstood and sick instead of what they really are: spoiled fucking brats. You give any reasonable person on earth more money than they can spend and a undeserved sense of entitlement and they will be textbook “manic”. Take away their toys [read:children here] and they get “depressed”. Awwww. See how that works? You don’t need a degree in psychology to deal with Britney Spears, you need a strong pimp hand. If her parents had spent more time teaching her to be a polite young lady instead of a how to dance like a whore at 14 maybe she wouldn’t be so fucked up, but how would Pfizer make its Q2 earnings this year?

That said. Now that she’s all vulnerable and medicated, it’s probably a good time to hit that shit.  She has two kids, so we know she puts out.

Well not really. But she did get sent to the hospital this morning for being under the influence of something. I’m inclined to believe she is under the influence of Cheetoe dust and fried cake. Here’s what TMZ had to say:

Once in the ambulance, paramedics can be seen trying to strap her legs down before taking off.

We’re told Britney is being taken to a local hospital on a “medical hold” — essentially a mental evaluation. Cops found her earlier this evening at her home under the influence of an “unknown substance.”

Cops were called to the popnightmare’s home in Beverly Hills this evening, after she reportedly refused to return custody of her two kids to their father’s bodyguard. Oh, the insanity of it all!

Can’t someone just hit her on the head with a hammer? Why is this taking so long? She’s walks pretty slow. You could just leave a Starbucks Mochachino in the parking lot of a 7-11 and wait behind the dumpster. Like we did in Iraq. Oil Rulez!

More claw hammer fodder…

• Whose Boobs? Italian style! (LG)
• Kimberly Stewart got hot? (Bastardly)
• Guess whose gigantic rack this is. (SeriouslyOMG)
• 100’s of hot nude links. Except mine. Thanks jesus. (DS)
• Who would you rather bang? (Liquid Generation)
• Miranda Kerr and her Aussie boobies. (Jordan)
• Courtney Cox’s asshole. (Yeeeah)
• Jennifer Aniston’s ass in a thong. (IBBB)
• Lindsay Lohan is still a whore. (Allie)
• Vivica Fox cell phone blowjob. (Bumpshack)
• Coco. You got the whole camel in there? (Gone Hollywood)
• This nude chick is smokin’. No really she has a cigarette. (CH)

Looks like Britney Spears is about to get married again. And why not? That’s what white trash people do when they run out of stuff to say or get bored being white trash. That, and they have babies that always seem smudged.

The ‘Gimme More’ singer – whose 2004 Vegas wedding to childhood friend Jason Alexander was annulled after 55 hours – is reportedly infatuated with assistant Sam Lufti and has already told ex-husband Kevin Federline and her lawyers she is planning to tie the knot.

A source said: “Britney is completely under Sam’s spell. Everyone sees through him, except her. I hear that he stays with her most of the time, and she pays for his food, his bar and restaurant tabs and his clothing. She takes care of everything.
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“Her lawyers have begged her to at least get a prenup, but she didn’t seem to be listening.” (source)

She should just go ahead and buy the duct tape and shovel and drive herself out into the desert to save that Lufti guy some steps, because I think we all can see where this is going.

Britney Spears was scheduled to shoot the video for her new single, “Pieces of Me”, last Tuesday, but of course she couldn’t be bothered to show up. That is, until Jive decided not to put the $5000,000 production to waste and called one of their upstart acts, Samantha Jade (this piece of ass), to shoot her video instead. Page Six reports:

“Jive hired Wayne Isham to direct, had all the dancers there – hair, makeup and everything,” our source added. “But she refused to come. Jive was really upset. They were already paying everyone overtime, and finally Britney showed up 12 hours late – but only after they told her they were going to give the video shoot to another Jive artist, Samantha Jade.”…”They were going to recalibrate it for Samantha, because it was too expensive to just scrap,” our source said. “Britney finally showed up when she realized a new, younger, hotter girl would take her slot.”

Britney Spears is a moron with only enough brain activity not to be on a feeding tube, so this sounds about right. In her mind she’s untouchable, an international pop princess with millions of adoring fans worldwide. In reality, she’s easily replaced by some chick no one’s ever heard of. The only way to get Britney somewhere on time is to replace her alarm clock with an oven timer.

Note: You can watch one of Samantha Jade’s videos here, but just know that I’m gonna call you a queer.