Why does Britney refuse to put those floppy granny tits in a bra? She dresses like she gave up on life. My mom dresses like this, but she has an excuse. She smoked for 40 years, had two ungrateful white trash kids, an 3 abusive husbands and bad habit of fucking married men with heavily armed wives. My mom has a net worth of 2 bales of hay and 1 Newport cigarette. Britney Spears probably has a million dollars in the glove compartment of her Porche next to the ketchup packets and broken cigarettes. Advantage: mom.

Also, Britney’s [ALLEGEDLY] formerly drunk and abusive dad and her brother Bryan (?) are still holding the ATM pins for Britney.

Britney Spears’ father Jamie was granted an extension of his conservatorship over her until March 10, the LA Superior Court decided today.

Britney’s brother Bryan, 30, and attorney Ivan Taback were named co-trustees of her trust.

“Ms. Spears’ family, friends and members of her household have been paying for her basic necessities including medicine, food and other day to day expenses,” Bryan’s attorney told the court. (source)

I like how they call it a conservatorship, like that somehow mitigates the fact that her dad can buy his own island now and there’s not god damn thing Britney can do about it. More of Britney’s nipples trying to get her attention about something on the floor.

See that? That is a salacious headline folks. I don’t like to brag, but they don’t teach that shit in journalism school. That comes from years of walking a beat, doing the research and following leads to get the story. Other bloggers may have fancy pants degrees from respected ivy covered liberal arts schools, but did they live blog the Vietnam War? No. No they did not. The key to writing a good story is coming up with a compelling headline that is evocative with just a hint of scandal, then diving right into the story so the readers will be instantly immersed in the narrative. Going on and on about unrelated or tangential information will only cause the reader to become disinterested and stop reading. Where was I?

Jamie and Lynne Spears arrived this morning at the County courthouse in downtown L.A. Sources say both parents are extremely concerned about the welfare of their daughter, and upset because Sam Lutfi is trying to call the shots on all matters Britney.

The court has the power to create a conservatorship, which would allow both Jamie and Lynne to make medical decisions on behalf of Britney. The conservatorship would also allow them to control Britney’s financial affairs. (Source)

What better way to show their love and support by taking control of her assets? It’s really kind of sweet, like Macbeth!

Sometime I feel sorry for Britney Spears because she is just the product of exploitative parents who whored out their daughter to the entertainment industry before she even finished high school – just to get her money. When I think about the tragic series of events that led up to Britney’s current situation it makes me melancholy. Then I remember that I am an elitist, judgmental bastard and it’s my job to make fun of Britney Spears and her fucked up, country-whore-come-to-town antics.

On Tuesday afternoon, she and Lutfi visited a nearby J. Crew, where an onlooker described her as “totally out of it.”

“She was talking in a slight accent. It was a little of a British accent,” says the eyewitness. “She kept to herself, quiet, she just wanted to go. She really wanted some Bubblelicious gum and she kept asking Sam for it and got frustrated when he didn’t have any. Her mood lifted when she found some in her bag.” (source)

What’s sick is this doesn’t even faze me anymore. What’s even sicker is that I would probably still bang her. She’s hot in a ’sad stripper in the light of day’ kinda way. You know I’m a sucker for a brokedown tramp who can smile through the tears.

Even though her children have taken from her “indefinitely”, Britney Spears still finds time to reflect and lament her dire and pitiful situation. Wait, I mean she parties like a drunk sorority girl.

“(Spears) is to have telephonic contact with the minor children,” Commissioner Scott Gordon ruled at last week’s hearing. “All prior orders remain in full force and effect.”

The pop singer, 26, has been forbidden to see her sons Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1, for more than three weeks, following her Jan. 3 custody standoff, which ended with her brief hospitalization.

Despite two attempts by her lawyers to regain her visitation rights, Spears cannot see her kids indefinitely, the judge has ruled. (source)

There is something disturbingly sexy about a mentally unstable mother who shirks responsibilities to her children so she can go party with her underwear showing. Maybe it’s the hollow, vacuous stare hidden by sunglasses that really turns me on. All I know is that she makes me want to buy her Newports and tampons. RRrreow!

Britney Spears showed up for court yesterday wearing the same clothes she had on the day before and still sporting the British accent. Cheerio!

Accompanied by Sam Lutfi, the poptard, who was furiously biting her nails, sported the same jeans, boots and $475 L.A.M.B. handbag she was seen in yesterday at Petco. When she arrived at Mark Vincent Kaplan’s office, a braless Britney pulled down the neck of her shirt to expose her shoulders and addressed photographers in a British accent. (source)

So, instead of putting on a suit and showing up for court prepared to fight for her children, Britney showed doing the the walk-of-shame with freshly fucked hair, no bra and her panties in her pocket. If I was the judge I wouldn’t let her have custody of a six piece Chicken McNugget meal, although that might get a little more attention than her kids.