NSFW – Fatback Media

Super manly hero to young and old and quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, Michael Vick was in court today working out a plea to charges surrounding dog fighting and animal cruelty thus proving that he is neither a hero nor manly. The plea could land him year in prison where hopefully incarcerated Cleveland Browns fans will gang rape him until his anus forms an infected fistula into his skull. Here’s what his attorney had to say:

“After consulting with his family over the weekend, Michael Vick asked that I announce today that he has reached an agreement with federal prosecutors regarding the charges pending against him. Mr. Vick has agreed to enter a plea of guilty to those charges and to accept full responsibility for his actions and the mistakes he has made. Michael wishes to apologize again to everyone who has been hurt by this matter.” (source)

I won’t even restate the cruel and cowardly shit Vick and his band of assholes did to those dogs but lets just say I don’t think a year in prison covers it. Some say he’ll be banned from the NFL, some say why would he, if he’s paid his debt to society? Well, because shit like this can’t be repaid. Societies are built on an ever evolving code of mores and expected behavior – and we evolved out that shit a long time ago.

I’m not very religious but I do think that there is symmetry in giving someone a taste of their own medicine. So instead of a year in prison, I think a fitting punishment would be Mike Vick vs. 27 blood thirsty pit bulls ,Thunderdome style. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. Besides, he’s not on my fantasy football roster anyway. Sexy ladies because being mean to dogs is shitty.

Update: Skippystalin says they might indict Vick on the RICO charges.  Like Miami Vice!

Some people complain that this site panders to the readers because, invariably everyday there is a post that has a girl in a bikini. Maybe they’re right. Or just maybe, it’s just a coincidence that the most salient news of the day just happens to be about a hot chick in a bikini. Maybe you’re just an insufferable asshole? I don’t know, what am I a doctor?

What is not insufferable is Anna Faris’ ass. Nor is my apostrophe usage on the singular possessive ending in ‘S’. Nor is a Hollywood that is embracing the fact that to make a movie that people will watch, you have to put Anna Faris in a pink bikini. Here are some details on House Bunny.

When Shelly (Anna Faris), a Playboy bunny, is tossed out of the mansion, she has nowhere to go until she falls in with the sorority girls from Zeta Tau Zeta. The members of the sorority ,“ who also have got to be the seven most socially clueless women on the planet, are about to lose their house. They need a dose of what only the eternally bubbly Shelley can provide, but they will each learn on their own to stop pretending to be what others want them to be and start being themselves. (IMDB)

The movie also stars Katharine McPhee who has a scientifically demonstrated perfectly formed ass herself. She plays a pregnant chick so she wears a prosthesis for most of the movie. So it’s cool to get a wood for her even though she looks pregnant. Unless you’re into that shit you dirty bastard. You know the Bible talks about people like you. It also talks about people like Anna Faris. I think Lot’s wife used to hang with those types…

Yep its summer. I’m drunk and I stopped watching Extra and Access Hollywood. I have no idea what’s going on with Britney, Lindsay or Paris. And I don’t give a shit. Pop culture has become so blase to me that I won’t even stop to put the accent ague on it. Paris is out of jail, Lindsay is in rehab, Amy Winehouse is in rehab, Angelina wants a new baby. Brains = blown out of skull.

Here are some old candids of Anna Kournikova’s Eastern bloc beaver. Pass the hot sauce tovarisch.

Links if you made it this far.

• Cute College girl of the week: Kelly from DePaul with DeBigass Titties. (CH)
• Quiz: Are you a lesbian? Maybe you just like the way girls taste? (QR)
• Ben Kinglsey is a perv. So are you. (Holy Candy)
• Sienna Miller is bangin Boromir. (Yeeeah)
• MTV the Hill GIRL FIGHT. Except not really. (IBBB)
• Jessica Alba sees chilly. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge… (Ninja Dude)
• Jessica Alba and JT shakin’ up? (Glitterati)
• Donny and Marie making out after all these years (Seriously OMG)
• Anne hathaway has renaissance tits. (DS)
• Totally hot, cute, smart British chick who has nothing to do with anything, but she’s amazing. (Muffy)
• Said she needs to go to rehab… quitter. (Bumpshack)
• Stardust was more than a Potter/Rings/LadyHawke/Dark Crystal clone. (Pajiba)
• Isla Fisher still hot. Still Aussie. (tasteful)
• Nicole Richie is a fat fatty. (Notorious)
• Lacey Chabert is still hot, alive. (Bastardly)

Natalie Gulbis is a golfer. She’s a smoking hot blond golfer that’s built like a brick shit house. For you non-southerners, that’s good. Apparently she’s actually pretty good at golf, as well as being the hottest golfer ever (apologies John Daly). I don’t know much about golf because golf is for rich fat guys who are red faced drunks. And well, I think we all know that I am a Latin sex panther.

More Natalie Gulbis because I love my new Flickr plugin.